I'm a fairly tall good looking dude and I can't help but shake the feeling I have "pretty privilege"- as it we're.
Food for my morning thought I guess.
I wouldn’t say I get “stuff,” but I do get:
- Complete strangers politely asking me out on the street
- An easier time being funny and charismatic if I want to be
- Politely flirted with by MILFs and DILFs at the renaissance fair (I see this as a huge win)
- The pity of strangers, if I look sad enough
- Friends and acquaintances developing lil crushes on me (so far this has never gone badly for me)
- Honked at by passing cars >:(
- On one horrible occasion, an attempt at flirting from a man who has known me since I was a child
When I was boymoding I was definitely 'pretty' but I also was really unhappy with how I looked, dressed like shit too. I'd go to bars in college and older ladies would buy me drinks and I just would pick up on zero of the flirting because I'm ace/oblivious
Now I just mostly get honked at walking down the street
I don’t think being attractive is enough to overcome personality issues in the dating arena, but privilege of this type tends to manifest most obviously as educational/professional success in my experience. It’s like male privilege on overdrive
To be clear though I’m not freakishly attractive just above average. I had a friend in my 20s who would have girls come up to him in bars and ask him to take them home, like talk about life on easy mode. My dude was 6’3, chiseled and ate nothing but chips and salsa lol
No its not. I'd take charisma over being tall and pretty looking.
I'd take charisma over being tall and pretty looking.
This is super tone deaf and pretty much a slap in the face to those who are short and not "good looking." Might as well say "yeah I'd rather be dirt poor and broke and have a good heart rather than having money not having to worry about material needs." With all due respect, go fuck yourself.
You are malding over this dude. Chill. You act as if I'm directly targeting you with some of my posts
Either you are absolutely clueless as to how you come off, or you're intentionally playing dumb. I think you're the one that needs to chill out.
You're the only one who's flipped their shit at my post. No chief, it's definitely you who needs to chill, shortie.
You're the only one who's flipped their shit at my post. No chief, it's definitely you who needs to chill, shortie.
Ah height shaming now.
Yes, very much so
Mind you, I'm not goddamn Pedro Pascal over here, but the thing is, I used to be much less good looking, and then had a big glow up in my late 20s. Got in shape, got my shit together generally, and it absolutely does make a difference, especially for someone who works a public-facing job - teacher, in my case.
It's hard to quantify exactly how much better people treat me, of course, and although I'm a good looking guy, I'm not good looking enough to actually get free stuff, but every interaction feels different when you're not a slob like I used to be. I don't mean that like in terms of how attractive or conventionally beautiful you are. When it looks like you care about yourself and the way that you look, you instantly become more attractive, charming and approachable to people in a general way.
When people don't accept the fact that being conventionally beautiful is not entirely connected to being attractive, I just introduce them to Donny Benet.
I found a YouTube link in your comment. Here are links to the same video on alternative frontends that protect your privacy:
I wouldn't call myself very attractive, not ugly or anything just a bit fat, but I did notice that after I started dressing in punk clothes I started getting way more positive attention. People striking up conversations on the street, getting hit on in bars stuff like that.
I wonder if anybody ever gave me anything due to my bad looks. As in "poor fella, the least I can due is share ice cream with him"
Carrying a mini fridge with me for all the free ice cream I get because im so ugly
I got a free breakfast burrito from a guy who thought I was homeless because when I go to do laundry I carry my clothes in a big hiking pack I have and I usually wear whatever I have that's clean, which is normally some ripped shorts and a slingshot.
I have good days and bad, and on the rare days I'm composed it's noticeable that people treat me better. Like, it's hard to quantify but they'll be more responsive/receptive, like people will strike up conversations and they'll laugh at shitty jokes that shouldn't land. Other days I'm a trash goblin and people would rather stand than sit next to me on the train lolllll. I can't imagine what it would like to be attractive all the time.
Yeah I'm not like fucking drop dead gorgeous or anything. I'm just a regular average attractive Joe. Enough so that dudes will straight-up call me "pretty boy" or ill get free stuff from women cashiers occasionally. Which is why I asked this in the first place haha
I'm definitely closer to ugly than attractive. I don't see there being a serious issue. I've had plenty of opportunities to make friends, and the very rare person that doesn't want to hang with me cuz of my looks, well they usually suck really hard anyhow.
In regards to privilege, I got straight white cis male from the West privilege. Compared to the average human, I'm pretty lucky. I'm not gonna fuss if hot people get chatted up more. I see beauty privilege as a double edge sword, for various reasons.
I've noticed that the very rare attractive narcissist can be pretty dangerous, as people follow them a bit too hard, but that's a different issue.
Yes. Namely, physically attractive partners. If I got anything else because of it, I wouldn't really know the difference.
But there's no way I could have the partners I've had otherwise, especially considering I've always been pretty broke.
I think there's a lot of features that can override other "attractive" traits. I've seen a lot of tall guys (for example) with fairly average faces who have been with really staggeringly attractive women (i was jealous) that would probably not have given them the light of day if they weren't really tall.
That's true but I'm not that tall either, unfortunately for my own preferences. Haha
Really don't say it out of ego, though. I never found myself all that attractive. Since I was a kid people would tell me I was very attractive but I always felt it was just something people said to be nice. Only later by looking back at my many above-average, beautiful partners over the years did I eventually realize that it's probably true. I always just thought I was lucky to be out of my league every time. Self-esteem is a fuck.
I just get people giving me the benefit of the doubt more I think and automatically assuming the best of me.
I'll add if you're what the norm deems as "weird or off" I don't care how attractive you are, you're not going to keep any sort of partner for very long.
As someone who gets told I'm an attractive guy somewhat often (by people other than my mom lol) I'd take being more charismatic over this.
As a man, I think it's more subtle and difficult to pick up on, for me anyway. But I've been doing the gym for almost a decade and it shows. I've got blond hair and blue eyes and a strong jaw. Once I started dating I was basically never single for longer than a few months. And so, on some level I know I'm doing alright for myself and I'm sure that gives me a privilege that others don't have. Like others have said, I'm not a model (I have a friend that's a model and an amateur bodybuilder, I know what truly good looking guys look like haha), but I've got pretty privilege, I think.
But I can't really give like concrete examples, outside of how blessed my dating life has been obviously, of how some time I noticed I got something just because of my looks. It's like trying to have a fish explain how water affects their life, it's just always been around and you don't think about it. But I know, from reading theory and what not, this world is built for cis het white guys like me, and it's even better if you're easy on the eyes, and I have benefited enormously from that. So academically, I know the water gives me oxygen, gives me a medium through which I move and benefits me, but hell if I could ever truly expand on that.
Sounds about right. But isn't blonde hair and blue eyes usually seen as more desirable on women and dark hair better on men?
Excellent response though
I think you're right, tall, dark and handsome is a cliche for a reason. I guess this why my friend is the model!
I was just teasing you anyways lol. I appreciate you participating and giving input.
Yeah I don't like the squeezing arm/shoulder thing either. Women and gay men tend to do this to me quite a bit
Yes and no. I've been told that I'm physically and facially very attractive, but I'm also very short at 5'1 with softer features. It's made me a target for gay men that I'm sure I would appreciate more if I wasn't straight. I'm sure being a stereotypical short, fat, and ugly brown guy would have made life a lot harder.
