if you call everyone dude and a transfem person gets mad about it, don't get defensive. just say like "sorry, i won't do it again" and don't argue "actually it's gender neutral" or "i call everyone dude". even if you do, i guarantee she's heard that argument from someone who very much does not call people they see as women dude. i certainly have

same goes double for the word guy.

  • Cromalin [she/her]M
    ·
    9 months ago

    y'all, all, folks, would all be commonly acceptable. honestly i try to just avoid the matter entirely when possible

    • acockworkorange@mander.xyz
      ·
      9 months ago

      These are all plural, though.

      I'm thinking the case for dude is in expletives and third person references. Like "dude, totally tubular" and "the dude in front of me ordered a coke".

      • Cromalin [she/her]M
        ·
        9 months ago

        ohhhh ok, yeah. gender neutral language is hard. usually for the latter i just say 'person' and for the former i just cuss. i do sometimes notice "man" slipping into my speech, like "man that sucked" and i try to avoid it but i'm only so successful. expletives are often less targeted at the conversation partner so it feels less problematic to me but i still think it's generally polite to avoid unless you know someone is chill with it

      • silent_water [she/her]M
        ·
        9 months ago

        "yo", " hey", "the person", " mate", "buddy", " pal"

        going to be honest, though - directing any of these or even "dude"/"my guy" at the person you're talking to is fairly accusatory. you were pointed to the plural forms because they soften the blow.

        • acockworkorange@mander.xyz
          ·
          9 months ago

          Really? I thought "how are you doing, buddy?" Was more endearing than without the buddy part. Also didn't know mate, buddy and pal were neutral, thanks!