i hope he's changed! and i'm glad people being shitty to trans women using femboys as a cudgel no longer have such a high profile tool to use! but i need people to understand this

  • HumanBehaviorByBjork [any, undecided]
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    4 months ago

    sorry if this reply was nasty, i just feel insane that we're able to slip into this thinking so casually of just seeing a public figure and immediately talking about how they have a Responsibility with their Platform to never make anyone feel any bad feelings even incidentally and never tell any lies and always share personal details and not be too pretty or too complicated or too comfortable with themself and look directly in my eyes and cast a spell protecting me from the evils of this world.

    like, there's a reason queer people stay in the closet! it's not because they're evil or cowards! flex your empathy muscles!

    • Cromalin [she/her]
      hexagon
      M
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      4 months ago

      i do not think f1nn5ter has a responsibility for that, and the hrt nondisclosure is not the problem here. it's something that's shitty, but not too different from other similar influencers not talking about things they've done to look the way they do. it feels a little worse here because f1nn5ter's whole thing was kind of directly about being a Cis Guy who looks like that and there's already a bunch of feelings and often dysphoria tied to his deal, but it isn't really any different from the examples given by say, redquestionasker2. if a fitness influencer were revealed to be using steroids when they claimed not to be in the middle of there already being a bunch of discourse about that person it would absolutely be something people criticized (as they should), though obviously there are some notable differences between the 2 examples

      i would not try and argue this was a big problem on its own, it's the trap stuff that is the real issue to me, because as i keep mentioning, that gets people killed. those ideas and tropes get trans women killed regularly. i think that's the important thing to take away from this

      i don't think anyone has said he was evil or a coward for staying closeted? the person you're responding to very clearly says it's totally fine for him to have stayed closeted, but it was a move that did hurt people in certain ways and i think it's important to be aware of that

    • aaaaaaadjsf [he/him, comrade/them]
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      4 months ago

      Going to disagree, influencers online should absolutely disclose drug use to their audience, should the use of drugs allow them to achieve a certain look. That absolutely should be one of their responsibilities if they make a career out of how they look. It doesn't have to be anything specific, in fact I'd prefer it not to be specific so that people do not try to copy them, just a heads up that hey I'm not 100% natural or whatever. This goes from Hollywood actors, to models, to bodybuilders and fitness content. Sadly far too many people fail to do this, and it leads to people having body image issues. That is the last thing people need, especially transgender people.

    • EpicKebabEater [he/him, it/its]
      ·
      4 months ago

      Nah dw I can see why my comment sounded weird.

      I am not against trans influencers being in the closet. I was not pissed by PhilosophyTube coming out as trans after doing most of her transition because it's her business only, I don't care. I myself am closeted on HRT so I see the necessity. We are on the trans sub and I assumed we are all trans here. I just find F1nn and F1nn only annoying because it was very obviously also a channel gimmick. I would find myself annoying too if I became a "cis female fitness influencer" while being on testosterone. And honestly I have a negative perception of influencers in general that might play into this.

      Sorry too if I sound defensive, my inbox did not get the messages and now I realized people assumed I was a guy doing the "they tricked me!1" thing, which there are probably a lot of.

      • HumanBehaviorByBjork [any, undecided]
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        4 months ago

        i wasn't assuming that, and i didn't want to come off like i'm dismissing your real hurt. I just don't think it's fair to put it all on him.