Like anyone else, I have a list of books/games/shows etc. that I want to experience. But it's too easy to fall into the trap of watching, reading, or playing something just to check it off the list rather than for the actual enjoyment of it.
I tend to set aside time each day to read, and I'll feel "bad" if I don't get around to it. There are times it really feels like homework and obviously it's not good when your hobby starts to feel like a job. At the same time, there are many books that I really enjoyed that I likely would have never gotten into if I didn't "force" myself into starting them. The same goes for many of my other hobbies such as foreign languages or writing. At the start of the pandemic I temporarily fell out of the habit of reading on a consistent basis and the number of books I read that year plummeted significantly and I missed out on a lot of potentially great books this way. I also find that if I don't force myself to some degree to do these things then I'll just end up wasting a lot of time surfing the Internet and feel dissatisfied. How do you strike a balance?
This just sounds like depression. When it becomes a chore to do things I enjoy it's time to take a trip 🍄
You should really try to limit your time on the internet unless it's directly related to a hobby. Last summer I only looked at the internet on my lunch break or on the toilet and it was amazing how much more time I had. I was cooking multiple times per week, going on walks and bike rides, reading, playing music, socializing more.
The internet is a great tool but unless you come to it with a plan and stick to it your life will be consumed by it. Before approaching an internet-enabled device, ask yourself "What is the purpose of my visit to the World Wide Web?" If you can't think of anything meaningful, do not touch the phone/laptop/desktop personal computer.
Set a hard limit to internet time-wasting and slowly decrease it. Start with maybe 90 minutes per day and lower it by 10 minutes per week. If you actually write your internet time usage down, the sheer quantity of life you sacrifice to the beast may shock you out of the habit.
I'm currently getting over another bout of depression myself and it's difficult to kick the habit of mindlessly wasting time. I like to make a list of things to do and it's okay if I don't do everything. Any bit of life clawed back from the gaping void is progress. Even if it's difficult, try to do a little reading/language learning/etc every day. Once you overcome inertia and make it a daily thing, it should become easier and then, routine.
Smaller tasks for less time with sillier motivation. Like instead of studying skin color in portraits, draw a pair of boobs. Just have some fun until something interesting takes you back into deep waters.
Not-taking yourself seriously definitely makes things feel more like play than like work. If you can get started it usually doesn't take long for it to hook you and get actual stuff done.
If you want to do something, never look on not having done it as failing. Maybe make an exception if it was your plan for the day and you never got around to it, but if you want to read something it's something you're choosing to do for you, not something you have to do for someone else. Make sure you remember why you are doing it and for who, and don't get mad if you take longer or waste a few days, it's just something you do for fun. You gotta get rid of the grind mindset.
Like anyone else, I have a list of books/games/shows etc. that I want to experience. But it’s too easy to fall into the trap of watching, reading, or playing something just to check it off the list rather than for the actual enjoyment of it.
In my experience, you do this because you have the dreaded backlog of books/games/shows you want to consume, so you consume content for the sake of getting rid of an ever expanding backlog rather than enjoying them for their own sake. This is why it feels like homework or doing chores because in many ways, it has become another chore for you to do. Here's what I did:
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Internalize the fact that no matter how fast I consume content, the rate of content generated will always be greater. Even if I were strapped down a la Clockwork Orange and forced to watch films in 2x speed, I'll never watch every single film in existence or even keep pace with current films being produced. I'll never read every single book, I'll never listen to every single album, I'll never finish every TV show, I'll never play every single game.
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Be a complete snob in how I consume content. I'll never read every single book, but I don't have to read every single book since most books are complete shit. I'll never play every single game, but I don't have to play every single game because most games are either shitty indie shovelware or shitty overpriced AAA mediocrity. Be more discerning. Don't bother consuming flawed gems or good-for-what-it-is artistic works.
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I aimed for the experience to be a 10/10 experience from beginning to end, from the first page to the last page, from the first episode to the last episode. None of that "it's slow because it's building its characters" or "the first hour sucks, but it gets good afterwards" bullshit as my time is too valuable. Imho, the fact that you internalized having enjoyed something after forcing yourself to plow through it is part of the problem. The only thing that gets a pass in a boring or slow beginning are either technical writings or theoretical works. Virtually nothing else justifies being boring in the beginning no matter how hard the artist tries hyping how deep the work is.
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After internalizing 1, 2, and 3, I can start purging the backlog as well as restricting what gets put on the backlog. A lot of times, I didn't even bother installing the game or downloading the book, I just crossed it off the list if I felt it no longer exceeded my high standards. Whether I got rid of a potential 10/10 work didn't bother me because the purpose of the purge was to get rid of the backlog, accidentally purging a potential 10/10 work is just a false positive that's going to be inevitable. In purge mode, there's was a lot of times where I just read a chapter of a book, went "wow, this was good but not great," and completely dumped the book and moved on. Without internalizing 1, 2, and 3, you'll never successfully get rid of your backlog.
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When my backlog is gone or more accurately in a manageable state, I then calculate how much free time I have per year and compare that with the estimated total hours of 10/10 books/games/shows that you want to consume that year. Obviously, you're not going to have an exact number, but even just having a ballpark estimate within the same order of magnitude does wonders. If you've allocated around 700 hours towards gaming for that year, then the total hours needed to play your yearly selection of games can't exceed that amount.
The end result is that instead of rushing to finish 7 good-but-not-great and 5 great works for the sake of finishing them, you can now enjoy 3 great works at a more leisurely pace. Sure, you miss out on 2 great works, but you also didn't waste your precious time on mediocrity.
I don't know how old you are now, but as you get older, you're going to have less free time. You need to have more discerning tastes for the sake of not being overwhelmed by an ever expanding backlog that you'll never finish. The only different between current 99.99%-of-everything-is-trash me and alternate-universe-with-less-discerning-taste me is alternate universe me would've just have some massive backlog because they would've lacked the free time to finish them anyways while current me doesn't have to worry about some shitty backlog and can just enjoy the works. Alternate universe me would've also wasted some of their previous time with mediocrity.
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Generally I only get like this if I don't have enough time or energy to do it because of work. If I'm not doing one of my hobbies though, I should be working. If I'm not, I'm usually wasting time on my phone, which I do
TOO FUCKING MUCH
My mind just craves dopamine, and the Internet is the most immediate way of getting it, so I waste time on here even though it's neither as fun or productive as my actual hobbies.
Consistency. I too struggle if I fall out of the habit of something. Sticking to it consistently makes it feel like less of a chore, but your mileage may vary.
