The pope offered the blandest, most milquetoast critique about how bad this war stuff is and how we need to maybe seek diplomatic mediation and not focus on always preparing for war, and she just lost her shit and gave the lib equivalent of the Navy Seals copypasta
What the fuck did you just fucking say about me you little pope? I'll have you know I graduated top of my class in Oxford, and I've been involved in numerous newsletters exposing kompromat, and I have over 3 million confirmed tweets. I am trained in information warfare and I'm the top journalist on all of Substack. You are nothing to me but just another bot. I will wipe you the fuck out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my fucking words. You think you can get away with saying that shit to me over the Internet? Think again, fucker. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of confidential sources in the intelligence community and your IP is being traced right now, so you better prepare for the storm, tankie. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your Twitter account. You're fucking dead, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can report you in over seven hundred ways, and that's just on the mobile app. Not only am I extensively trained in game theory, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the CIA and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face of the blogosphere, you little shit. If only you could have known what holy retribution your little "clever" tweet was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking tongue. But you couldn't, you didn't, and now you're paying the price, you goddamn Russian. I will shit fury all over you and you will drown in it. You're fucking dead, shill.
in a stunning twist, louise converts to orthodox christianity and putin converts to roman catholicism. also jeremy corbyn becomes anglican.
also jeremy corbyn becomes anglican
Corbyn converts to Judaism would be the biggest twist.
FYI there are 9 popes. Let me tell you them. There is the coptic pope, two african popes, asian pope, greek orthodox pope,gay pope, canadian love pope, retired pope and the hidden pope who nobody knows about.remember them
these are already ten popes, not including Francis. we may be seeing exponential pope growth here.
They're cheap knockoffs of the real thing. Their hats are funnier though.
Meanwhile Twitter will ban you for saying Musk should be fired out of a cartoon cannon into the sun.
God speaks in mysterious ways…
I like the Mormon strategy of pretending your prophet has a direct line of communication with god, but whenever a historical prophet says something stupid or bigoted or incorrect they were conveniently “speaking as a man” even though they were speaking in an official prophet capacity.
So God has prophets we are supposed to follow, but also the prophets randomly start going off the rails sometimes and there’s no way to know the difference
Maybe god mumbles a lot and the pope just misunderstands them, these dudes tend to be kinda old.
Most of the time God is rambling incorrectly about ice cream and someone named Cornpop.
They don't believe that the pope is channeling God or anything. At the end of the day the pope is still just a guy, a very holy guy but still a guy and you'll never have to look long to find Catholics who believe the pope is wrong about whatever, or just an idiot in general.
Catholics believe the pope is infallible in the very rare instances where he talks about matters of doctrine ex cathedra. It is generally considered only to have happened twice in the last two centuries and the idea of papal infallibility only became official doctrine in 1870.
Defensive alliances are when you keep threatening to expand your influence to more and more countries and imply the threat of invasion to a neutral country
i mean, her main argument here is "our entirely defensive and very peaceful alliance that doesn't do aggressions has you surrounded on all sides, you sure you want to mildly criticize us?"
I hope the Pope sends his Papal Assassins after her
I mean, he has to have a least two right?
Given the history of the papacy, if I was her I would simply stop eating or drinking anything I hadn't prepared myself.
Somebody DM those two guys from Boondock Saints, or at least Alexander Anderson.
Oh, I don't want to give those guys ideas
Plus, I don't want to interrupt the beautiful thing Norman Reedus has going on with Hideo Kojima
Is that a Dwarven halberd weapon with a beard-shaped blade or is that a beard style that resembles the blade of a halberd
Everybody gangster until the Swiss Guard comes out looking like this while the Pope starts talking about Unification.
They should commit to being 40K characters and just incorporate their MP5s into the halberds.
The Pope said he is not "in favor" of Russian President Vladimir Putin but "simply against reducing complexity to the distinction between good and bad, without thinking about roots and interests, which are very complex."
"While we see the ferocity, the cruelty of the Russian troops, we must not forget the problems to try to solve them," he added.
Sorry dude, Pope says both sides so now you're ex-communicated.
She's got a point, it's impressive that NATO hasn't leveled the Vatican yet, just on like a whim or on accident or something.
Maybe they've just been throwing darts at a map, and the thing is that the Vatican is really small.
Breaking news out of the Vatican, as the legitimacy of the papal election is called into question. Leading the way through the confusion is interim pope Juan Guido, who has been recognized as the legitimate head of the Roman Catholic Church by the international community. Hold on a second - we've just received word of white smoke coming from the Vatican, meaning that a new pope, likely the interim pope, has been appointed!
Unfortunately, Russian bots are already spreading malicious disinformation on Twitter. There is no evidence to support the claims that chemical weapon known as white phosphorous has been...
The US couping Francis and restarting the whole anti-pope thing would be pure kino though
I've joked around that some of those Catholics that hate Francis will make an Anti Pope, but I never thought it would be the CIA
Protestants doesn't care about the pope any more. He's just some exotic tourist attraction they have in Italy.
She should have started this post with:
Unsheathes Katana
My sources say the death penalty, for heresy, being considered for Louise Mensch. I am pro-life and take no pleasure reporting this.
Is this the lady whose "sources" were telling her that the FBI was raiding Trump and GOP offices a few years ago during Russiagate?
Nope, sadly not. She was a quite possibly actually mentally ill Tory MP who was supposed to be the party's future until her erratic behaviour and spouting nonsense lost her her seat along with her offering the "I did so many drugs I might have gone permanently insane" as a defence. Then she married some US millionaire crank and started a sort of right wing gossip media platform thing, followed shortly by descending into non-sensical RussiaGate conspiracy screeds and now this stuff I guess.
