Mine is only barely plausible, but hear me out.
:hillary: finally gets Her Turn :hillgasm:
But that's the final term of the United States as we know it because of ongoing secession and collapse. :hillary-contempt:
I think in the US we're going to get Citizens United 2 from the Supreme Court. They're going to rule that a corporation can be president.
The GOP and DNC will merge and create and new Patriot Company to be president of the US
The president will be a board of directors, essentially just absorbing the US Chamber of Commerce
The GOP and DNC will merge and create and new Patriot Company to be president of the US
This is some Kojima shit.
Biden croaks before the 2024 election, Harris and :pete: run on a unity and healing ticket, lose very badly to trump/desantis, and we enter the :cool-zone: once again
When brandon got elected, I was finally able to eat my overpriced brunch in peace
And now the quirky patriotism ritual ( :im-vegan: need not apply, Jack! :biden-nibble: ) is sixteen cents off one specific already cheap portion of it! Why are you tankies so entitled? :maybe-later-kiddo:
Joe Biden audibly shits himself during the first debate. CNN, MSNBC, NYT, et al spend at least a week speculating about a "brown note device" possibly of Russian or Cuban design.
Between debates, the piss tape drops. We drown the internet in Pee Pee Trump vs Poo Poo Biden memes. Unable to ignore how undignified this election has become, we see broad bipartisan support for abolishing the office of the president.
This will be seen as the beginning of the balkanization of America.
Bernie wins but then get immediately impeached for being old
Then, because hypocrisy never slows down chud brain, :a-little-trolling: returns, but the frothing soup of cortisol, hair product, and lead in his brain finally catches up with him and he plays out a Chapo meme and shidds and fards loud enough to be heard during a live television broadcast. :trump-anguish:
Also him farding ends up making him the most beloved American president of all time
The Texas Union secedes again, realizes they have no real economy of their own, attempts to fight Mexico like old times and gets spanked by the Zapatistas.
The Texans sulk and seethe, demand handouts from the liberal states... then receive them under pretenses of moral high ground, under far more generous and unconditional terms than any IMF-attached country. :maybe-later-kiddo:
Reconstruction funds dwarf the marshall plan and Texas becomes the only state with universal healthcare
Day one all the water from upstream is cut and a week later Texas capitulates
Slight variation to yours.
:hillary: becomes president, but only after secession. The country collapses, but many D.C. lanyard heads refuse to believe that their perfect end of history had a few more pages left in the book. “The USA” continues to exist, but only as a government in exile, and :hillary-disgust: takes her rightful place beside :guaido: as the pauper king and queen.
Ironic. The neoliberals could conjure legitimacy for Taiwan, but not themselves. :unlimited-power:
Hillary becomes president, Russia takes over the entirety of Ukraine, the democrats quadruple down on punishing Trump and telling voters to stop worrying about Roe, and Biden claims election fraud and says Hillary isn’t the rightful president
democrats quadruple down on punishing Trump
By "punish" that means lots of hearings and performative bullshit and no punishment.
it's the most important testimony of our time
they'll also impeach him again
:trump-anguish: wins in 2024. Nukes the moon. Climate change inadvertently solved. Lauded as greatest president ever.
The supreme court declares that weapons bans in the halls of congress are unconstitutional. Either MTG actually takes a shot at someone, or boebert has a negligent discharge.
The rest is wish fulfillment since that first part definitely got the lathe's attention:
It is the actual final straw for The Squad. AOC and Ilhan break into DNC headquarters to push the secret "do communism" button that would move the party left. They are thwarted and jailed. Seeing the girlbosses behind bars finally inspires revolutionary confidence in the libs and the second civil war goes hot when they are broken out of prison during a protest that turns into a riot.
the new black panthers aim their guns at congreessprople for every vote and create a funny dynamic
Biden dies and Kamala steps down, leaving :liberalism: as President. She appoints the first gay ambassador to Iceland and CHUDs decide that they can't stand any more and try to lynch her. I am there making the noose and laughing. My life is complete.
Yes! I agree that would be a bad outcome, maybe possible if the Supreme Court and Congress don't get their act together. But ultimately, I think a Hillary 2024 win is what we need to bring this country together again.
Texas starts the process of balkonization and is almost immediately invaded by Mexico. You see videos online of Texans geting shot at the new us boarder as piles of F150s lay dormant on the highway to Arizona.
