Imagine using this site for literally years on the same account, making it through all the purges of reactionary users to date, becoming a well known member of the community only to suddenly go on a racist rant, get banned, nuke your July 2020 account and thereby massively contribute to the Swiss-cheesification of old Hexbear posts, make a bunch of alts to do wrecker shit, and refuse to do even the smallest iota of self crit.
Yeah, sometimes leftists have unexamined reactionary opinions, it happens. But you'd think using Hexbear for that long would go a long way in correcting those opinions, or at least make them more amenable to self crit. Especially since users who are prone to this type of explosive behavior upon being called out usually have this type of outburst within a month or two at most of using this site, not years. Legitimately in awe of how this didn't happen sooner.
nah, I'm the guy that fucked up the gaming comm discord for a bit. I was blackout, on generic ambien, and on a legal amphetamine, so I don't remember shit. I was told I was just being a massive shithead not like a bigot tho.
FWIW, I can identify. I did a bunch of ambien (on it now actually) as well as some benzos and just totally broke. I have no memory of events but apparently I said and did some pretty shocking things to the few people in my life. Lots of regret around that. Anyway... glad you avoided the bigotry! (I did too as it happens). I don't know why I'm saying this. Just... solidarity on blacking out with ambien, I guess. :latam-solidarity:
I don't want to be presumptous, my insomnia is basically untreated now, but that shit can be the devil...not always. can tho. It helps talking to a comrade who has been there. If you ever want an ear, or anything else, I check my account at least once a day. I know people can be healthy with it, but I was snorting it sooooooo lol I hope your relationship with it is healthy or if nothing else a net gain
Oh fuck, do I know ambien can be... well, as you aid, the devil. Certainly a double edged sword. It alrady has it's hooks in me but I'm working at slowly pulling them back out.
TBH, I am kind of struggling rn, but not just with ambien, also a few different gbaergics. I'd like to think I still haven't lost total control and keep them in check, but you know how that goes. I probably shouldn't even be saying this in open/main, but wth.
say no more friend, you said enough anyone who knows knows. just know if you need an ear. If it helps, the sleep deprivation is a choice for me that is easier to bear than the chemical tendrils. everyone is different and needs tomake their own value analysis tho. idk about gbaergics, bipolar for me lol. im a human tesla battery! lmao
You probably can identify (sounds like you can anyway), my relationship with the chemical tendrils is pretty extensive and intertwined. It take a lot of time and effort to disentangle. If you knew ambien, and if you know alcohol, you know at least a couple gabaergics, just for the record. My condolences or congratulations on being bipolar, I'm not sure how you like to look at it. Personally, I've got AvPD (avoidant PD). I appreciate and thank you for the offer for an ear, I'll remember that and also I extended the same offer to you comrade.
edit: rereading this, omg, soooo many typos and shit I'm cringing. I think I better try to get to sleep. Thanks for the conversation comrade. :heart-sickle:
You rock. fuck dudes rock, lets turn it into everyone rocks. idk what the norms are here, but whatever the acceptable version of lets start a ND discord and become homies (cue ICP song) is lets fucking goooooooooo
It's not like I knew him super well, but I followed his posts and enjoyed them. Is there any remote possibility someone got into his account, or are we sure that was him? I mean... if it was his account -chances are it was him, but is there any benefit of the doubt that might possibly be given that maybe someone else was on the account? I mean.... carving a fucking swastika?? Like you said, after making it through 2 years of regular chapo.chat/hexbear posting? Maybe I'm just in denial.
Hes said a loooot of sus shit. It’s a pattern of behavior. Every time something reactionary he does or thinks gets called out he has a meltdown about it, doubled down, and refuses to hear people out
I mean he’s nice enough until you broach something he has brainworms about. I have family like that, perfectly pleasant til they start throwing slurs around and it’s like “dude where tf is this coming from?” Lol
Honestly I think a big part of the problem is that he clearly is addicted to the blood and dopamine rush you get when you are in a heated argument. Like, there are physiological reasons why some people seek out conflict like this.
That's almost the saddest case. They're there, they've got it, they're sane... but for that one, tenacious worm that just infests that specific spot in their brain and it won't come out. You want to give them the benefit of the doubt and just let that one worm go, but you know they spread, they multiply if allowed to stay in there. And that's when the slurs start to fly, as you said. It's really sad to me that PootrK had some of those festering, infecting. I hope he can have them excised.
I nuked a hexbear discord once during a mental break, I’m not going to cast stones at the head at least. Tbf I was being sectarian not racist. Other users claimed they he was mentally unwell, so I cringe in sympathy while I laugh.
Cringe in sympathy is about all I can do right now too, especially since I'm still not clear on what happened. Still surprised, but taking the word of everyone else. If he's mentally unwell, I hope he gets whatever help is needed.
I was drunk on meds that under no circumstances should be mixed with alcohol. Combine that with all the rage at the world I was under.... basically I banned like the chillest dude and went full LARP as a discord stalin. Woke up, apologized, transferred server, and deleted. idk, I just see the possibility that all the stress people with hearts are under, all the unreleased lack of catharsis...idk. Pain makes people stupid.
Pain, Multiple meds, Alcohol, rage, and stress will never in combination lead to wise behavior. I know, I'm trying to balance that right now. :agony-shivering: Makes people stupid? yeah, makes people vulnerable and prone to crashing for sure. Edit: I hope amends can be made with the chill dude (might be surprised how chill he'll be about it all if indeed he's a chill dude). Maybe he liked your Stalin LARPING and if not, just try to take it down a notch or two next time - you know, hide your power level.
That is an empathetic way to view it, I try to be harsh in my own self-crit at least. I certainly needed it, probably still do lol. He is a cool dude, but I am not sober yet. I use the incentive of mending things to slowly draw down my substance abuse. It's worked so far. Got myself off most of that shit so far.
edit: see my other comment about this place being kind...you're demonstrating it rn. thank you. I know dunking and hilarious insults are a trademark here, but balance in the force and all that
Being harsh in self crit is important and necessary, but it can also be too easy to be unhelpfully brutal if someone is prone to it. You have to be kind to yourself while realizing you might also be full of shit, yeah? If someone self-crits successfully and healthily, the next hard part is applying it and changing behavior. A person can do that alone ofc, but I think community assistance, given a trusted and respected community can be what really makes the difference to a true recovery.
And hell yes, this place strikes the balance between kindness and solidarity with shitposts and scathing humor with actual news and reality so fucking well. So ucking glad I know of this little oasis of reality and kindness. It plays a big role in my ability to survive hellworld.
I'd like to think it's possible to grow without pain, but I'd agree... if you want to actually have even a rudimentary understanding of what it really means to be human, hell, to be sentient, you have to have and know a lot of pain. A lot of suffering.
It is totally possible, but some methods have a higher success rate at inducing productive self-reflection. Like, personal example, I was a MASSIVE piece of shit, but the pain of confronting that during a trip that ended in ego death where a frat bro stoner guided me out of it using kill bill (its complicated) was the first step to becoming a communist for me. It was traumatizing af, but I wouldn't trade it because the growth was valuable and good.
I am a huge proponent of using psychedelics and breakthrough experiences as steps on a path towards radical leftism. It played a role in my own journey fwiw. I am happy to hear that you had such an experience, which it sounds was pretty profound. Kill BIll wouldn't be my first choice, but the kinds of things that work for or speak to or are just otherwise important to people are endless. I think it's nothing short of amazing that that is the event you name that led to to communism. Personally, I think a telling of that story is worth a post of its own.
Edit: also condolences on the trauma you experienced. That's not a price a comrade should have to pay for growth, but I realize a lot of times it really is what is payed.
that is kind of you, basically I was just curled up crying and he knew I was taking a film class. He chose that because he knew I liked movies and wanted me to lose myself in fiction rather than the past. Dude saved me from being stabbed once, so he has my eternal loyalty regardless of logic lol
I have to admit, I'm a little lost on where where this person comes in (well, film class apparently) but I'm glad you found him. Having a close companion, compatriot, comrade... if you don't have a real community, and who does in atomized hellworld, having one of them is the next best thing. Sounds like you two are beyond, as they say, "tight." That's awesome. TBH, I really wish I had a friend like that.
ah, im drunk. to explain, basically my frat bros saved me. I know I'll get hate, not all fraternities are bad. no hazing lots of love. Even had a volcel rule for pledges. community is love and life. what part was confusing? idk I can make an effort post when Im sober if tyou want. imma sign off for now tho. work tonight. It was good talking with you though.
If good frats exist, I will defer to you. I was never in one, and know them only by reputation. I'm skeptical, but... yeah, if yours was good, awesome. It wasn't confusing I guess (I'm drunk too) so much as it seemed out of the blue but that's probably because I missed some contect. As for the effort post, make it if YOU want. I think it would make an interesting one and I'd hope it would garner some good discussion, but what do I know? Likewise good talking with you. Goodnight, comrade.
thank you, I know it is odd. But those men turned my proto fash boy ass into a comrade man. much love, hope you have a good night as well my socialist any-ther
Pain, Multiple meds, Alcohol, rage, and stress will never in combination lead to wise behavior. I know, I'm trying to balance that right now. :agony-shivering: Makes people stupid? yeah, makes people vulnerable and prone to crashing for sure.
Imagine using this site for literally years on the same account, making it through all the purges of reactionary users to date, becoming a well known member of the community only to suddenly go on a racist rant, get banned, nuke your July 2020 account and thereby massively contribute to the Swiss-cheesification of old Hexbear posts, make a bunch of alts to do wrecker shit, and refuse to do even the smallest iota of self crit.
Yeah, sometimes leftists have unexamined reactionary opinions, it happens. But you'd think using Hexbear for that long would go a long way in correcting those opinions, or at least make them more amenable to self crit. Especially since users who are prone to this type of explosive behavior upon being called out usually have this type of outburst within a month or two at most of using this site, not years. Legitimately in awe of how this didn't happen sooner.
deleted by creator
I don't understand, why don't I see any of the comment removals in the modlog? Just the ban.
Deleted account, idk how the site works but apparently that caused it
Oh, ok. That does make sense unfortunately. So is that you. pootr?? If so... What did happen? (If you don't mind.)
nah, I'm the guy that fucked up the gaming comm discord for a bit. I was blackout, on generic ambien, and on a legal amphetamine, so I don't remember shit. I was told I was just being a massive shithead not like a bigot tho.
FWIW, I can identify. I did a bunch of ambien (on it now actually) as well as some benzos and just totally broke. I have no memory of events but apparently I said and did some pretty shocking things to the few people in my life. Lots of regret around that. Anyway... glad you avoided the bigotry! (I did too as it happens). I don't know why I'm saying this. Just... solidarity on blacking out with ambien, I guess. :latam-solidarity:
I don't want to be presumptous, my insomnia is basically untreated now, but that shit can be the devil...not always. can tho. It helps talking to a comrade who has been there. If you ever want an ear, or anything else, I check my account at least once a day. I know people can be healthy with it, but I was snorting it sooooooo lol I hope your relationship with it is healthy or if nothing else a net gain
Oh fuck, do I know ambien can be... well, as you aid, the devil. Certainly a double edged sword. It alrady has it's hooks in me but I'm working at slowly pulling them back out.
TBH, I am kind of struggling rn, but not just with ambien, also a few different gbaergics. I'd like to think I still haven't lost total control and keep them in check, but you know how that goes. I probably shouldn't even be saying this in open/main, but wth.
say no more friend, you said enough anyone who knows knows. just know if you need an ear. If it helps, the sleep deprivation is a choice for me that is easier to bear than the chemical tendrils. everyone is different and needs tomake their own value analysis tho. idk about gbaergics, bipolar for me lol. im a human tesla battery! lmao
You probably can identify (sounds like you can anyway), my relationship with the chemical tendrils is pretty extensive and intertwined. It take a lot of time and effort to disentangle. If you knew ambien, and if you know alcohol, you know at least a couple gabaergics, just for the record. My condolences or congratulations on being bipolar, I'm not sure how you like to look at it. Personally, I've got AvPD (avoidant PD). I appreciate and thank you for the offer for an ear, I'll remember that and also I extended the same offer to you comrade.
edit: rereading this, omg, soooo many typos and shit I'm cringing. I think I better try to get to sleep. Thanks for the conversation comrade. :heart-sickle:
You rock. fuck dudes rock, lets turn it into everyone rocks. idk what the norms are here, but whatever the acceptable version of lets start a ND discord and become homies (cue ICP song) is lets fucking goooooooooo
Oh! Hey, long time no see. Hope you’re doing better
thanks
It's not like I knew him super well, but I followed his posts and enjoyed them. Is there any remote possibility someone got into his account, or are we sure that was him? I mean... if it was his account -chances are it was him, but is there any benefit of the doubt that might possibly be given that maybe someone else was on the account? I mean.... carving a fucking swastika?? Like you said, after making it through 2 years of regular chapo.chat/hexbear posting? Maybe I'm just in denial.
He’s been making low key homophobic and misogynist slip-ups for a while, and then doubling down when called out. I’m not shocked that he’s racist too
ugh. How disappointing. Seemed like one of the power posters. I never noticed any of that, but that's probably due to my own blind spots.
Hes said a loooot of sus shit. It’s a pattern of behavior. Every time something reactionary he does or thinks gets called out he has a meltdown about it, doubled down, and refuses to hear people out
:cringe:
sad to hear. Seemed cool to me, but I sometimes miss what's going on around here.
I mean he’s nice enough until you broach something he has brainworms about. I have family like that, perfectly pleasant til they start throwing slurs around and it’s like “dude where tf is this coming from?” Lol
Honestly I think a big part of the problem is that he clearly is addicted to the blood and dopamine rush you get when you are in a heated argument. Like, there are physiological reasons why some people seek out conflict like this.
That's almost the saddest case. They're there, they've got it, they're sane... but for that one, tenacious worm that just infests that specific spot in their brain and it won't come out. You want to give them the benefit of the doubt and just let that one worm go, but you know they spread, they multiply if allowed to stay in there. And that's when the slurs start to fly, as you said. It's really sad to me that PootrK had some of those festering, infecting. I hope he can have them excised.
I nuked a hexbear discord once during a mental break, I’m not going to cast stones at the head at least. Tbf I was being sectarian not racist. Other users claimed they he was mentally unwell, so I cringe in sympathy while I laugh.
You nuked the discord?? Bold. heh
Cringe in sympathy is about all I can do right now too, especially since I'm still not clear on what happened. Still surprised, but taking the word of everyone else. If he's mentally unwell, I hope he gets whatever help is needed.
I was drunk on meds that under no circumstances should be mixed with alcohol. Combine that with all the rage at the world I was under.... basically I banned like the chillest dude and went full LARP as a discord stalin. Woke up, apologized, transferred server, and deleted. idk, I just see the possibility that all the stress people with hearts are under, all the unreleased lack of catharsis...idk. Pain makes people stupid.
Pain, Multiple meds, Alcohol, rage, and stress will never in combination lead to wise behavior. I know, I'm trying to balance that right now. :agony-shivering: Makes people stupid? yeah, makes people vulnerable and prone to crashing for sure. Edit: I hope amends can be made with the chill dude (might be surprised how chill he'll be about it all if indeed he's a chill dude). Maybe he liked your Stalin LARPING and if not, just try to take it down a notch or two next time - you know, hide your power level.
That is an empathetic way to view it, I try to be harsh in my own self-crit at least. I certainly needed it, probably still do lol. He is a cool dude, but I am not sober yet. I use the incentive of mending things to slowly draw down my substance abuse. It's worked so far. Got myself off most of that shit so far.
edit: see my other comment about this place being kind...you're demonstrating it rn. thank you. I know dunking and hilarious insults are a trademark here, but balance in the force and all that
Being harsh in self crit is important and necessary, but it can also be too easy to be unhelpfully brutal if someone is prone to it. You have to be kind to yourself while realizing you might also be full of shit, yeah? If someone self-crits successfully and healthily, the next hard part is applying it and changing behavior. A person can do that alone ofc, but I think community assistance, given a trusted and respected community can be what really makes the difference to a true recovery.
And hell yes, this place strikes the balance between kindness and solidarity with shitposts and scathing humor with actual news and reality so fucking well. So ucking glad I know of this little oasis of reality and kindness. It plays a big role in my ability to survive hellworld.
that is all very wise. honestly though, I have never grown as a person without pain.
I'd like to think it's possible to grow without pain, but I'd agree... if you want to actually have even a rudimentary understanding of what it really means to be human, hell, to be sentient, you have to have and know a lot of pain. A lot of suffering.
It is totally possible, but some methods have a higher success rate at inducing productive self-reflection. Like, personal example, I was a MASSIVE piece of shit, but the pain of confronting that during a trip that ended in ego death where a frat bro stoner guided me out of it using kill bill (its complicated) was the first step to becoming a communist for me. It was traumatizing af, but I wouldn't trade it because the growth was valuable and good.
I am a huge proponent of using psychedelics and breakthrough experiences as steps on a path towards radical leftism. It played a role in my own journey fwiw. I am happy to hear that you had such an experience, which it sounds was pretty profound. Kill BIll wouldn't be my first choice, but the kinds of things that work for or speak to or are just otherwise important to people are endless. I think it's nothing short of amazing that that is the event you name that led to to communism. Personally, I think a telling of that story is worth a post of its own.
Edit: also condolences on the trauma you experienced. That's not a price a comrade should have to pay for growth, but I realize a lot of times it really is what is payed.
that is kind of you, basically I was just curled up crying and he knew I was taking a film class. He chose that because he knew I liked movies and wanted me to lose myself in fiction rather than the past. Dude saved me from being stabbed once, so he has my eternal loyalty regardless of logic lol
I have to admit, I'm a little lost on where where this person comes in (well, film class apparently) but I'm glad you found him. Having a close companion, compatriot, comrade... if you don't have a real community, and who does in atomized hellworld, having one of them is the next best thing. Sounds like you two are beyond, as they say, "tight." That's awesome. TBH, I really wish I had a friend like that.
ah, im drunk. to explain, basically my frat bros saved me. I know I'll get hate, not all fraternities are bad. no hazing lots of love. Even had a volcel rule for pledges. community is love and life. what part was confusing? idk I can make an effort post when Im sober if tyou want. imma sign off for now tho. work tonight. It was good talking with you though.
If good frats exist, I will defer to you. I was never in one, and know them only by reputation. I'm skeptical, but... yeah, if yours was good, awesome. It wasn't confusing I guess (I'm drunk too) so much as it seemed out of the blue but that's probably because I missed some contect. As for the effort post, make it if YOU want. I think it would make an interesting one and I'd hope it would garner some good discussion, but what do I know? Likewise good talking with you. Goodnight, comrade.
thank you, I know it is odd. But those men turned my proto fash boy ass into a comrade man. much love, hope you have a good night as well my socialist any-ther
Pain, Multiple meds, Alcohol, rage, and stress will never in combination lead to wise behavior. I know, I'm trying to balance that right now. :agony-shivering: Makes people stupid? yeah, makes people vulnerable and prone to crashing for sure.
deleted by creator