Why no, I've never done literally any research on this topic, but I'm pretty sure I've cracked this mystery.

Bonus lib wank

  • MitchFucko [any]
    ·
    2 years ago

    lol where are they even getting this from

    if we're just thinking about different factions and their interests, there were people who considered JFK too "soft" on communism and anti-imperialism. He was still very anti-communist but he generally respected the idea sovereignty for non-aligned countries slightly more than the other warhawks, and they resented him for it.

    • Redbolshevik2 [he/him]
      hexagon
      ·
      edit-2
      2 years ago

      The CIA and State Department had to coup Sukarno [I meant Patrice Lumumba] days before JFK got into office because they correctly assumed he would've tried to stop it. He was a Cold Warrior dedicated to the American project, he just wasn't a psychotic Nazi like the people who shortly came to run everything.

      • MitchFucko [any]
        ·
        2 years ago

        yeah trying to remember where I learned this from. I think Jakarta Method? But in any case pretty sure it's well-documented

      • RedDawn [he/him]
        ·
        2 years ago

        They didn’t successfully coup Sukarno until a couple years after JFK died though. Are you thinking of Patrice Lumumba?

        • Redbolshevik2 [he/him]
          hexagon
          ·
          2 years ago

          Definitely. I've been sleeping very poorly so my memory isn't the best.

      • Wertheimer [any]
        ·
        edit-2
        2 years ago

        I don't doubt the makeup of the factions involved in the happenings here, but the timing is a bit off. There was definitely CIA action against Sukarno in the last few years of the Eisenhower administration, but he'd largely defeated the rebels in '58, and the biggest assassination attempt against him occurred in March 1960. Sukarno lasted until well into the Johnson administration.

        • MitchFucko [any]
          ·
          2 years ago

          Thanks! I think we were thinking of Lumumba in Congo and mixed up the timeline a bit.

    • zifnab25 [he/him, any]
      ·
      edit-2
      2 years ago

      He was still very anti-communist

      Pretty much by definition, when you're the President. But by shaking up the former Eisenhower administration, he pulled the rug out from under the old Cold War guard on a scale we wouldn't see again until the Trump Admin.

      Functionally, he was killed for the crime of undermining Cold War leadership in the midst of hostilities.

    • Llituro [he/him, they/them]
      ·
      2 years ago

      if i've learned one thing from blowback, it's that the cia and military have always been run by literal demons, allen dulles might have been the most demonic of them all.

    • HumanBehaviorByBjork [any, undecided]
      ·
      2 years ago

      yeah like, why would the CIA, who undoubtedly surveilled the president constantly somehow think he was a Russian spy? you're ascribing to them a level of competence high enough to carry out an assassination plot, but low enough to reach such an idiotic conclusion.

    • WeedReference420 [he/him, they/them]
      ·
      edit-2
      2 years ago

      I've heard a theory that a secret service agent riding in the car behind him was hungover and accidentally pulled the trigger of his gun and hit Kennedy as the convoy went over a bump in the road which would be hilarious but seems incredibly unlikely.

        • userse31 [he/him]
          ·
          2 years ago

          The secret service are probably barred from drinking. But they probably do anyway.

      • The_Walkening [none/use name]
        ·
        2 years ago

        That one's kind of the :grill: -pilled JFK conspiracy because it's kinda nonpartisan, but at the same time it assumes that they just picked Lee Harvey Oswald at random as a patsy hours to minutes afterward.

        • PaperCarot [none/use name]
          ·
          2 years ago

          This theory is usually combined with the official story as well. It's not that the secret service just did it while going over a bump but he grabbed his gun in response to the original shot from Oswald and then also shot JFK.

          This explains the magic bullet element of the case to a certain extent.

      • zifnab25 [he/him, any]
        ·
        edit-2
        2 years ago

        Definitely possible that the "magic bullet" was a bodyguard with an itchy trigger finger.

        But I don't think that explains the bullet that actually hit Kennedy

    • DialecticalShaman [none/use name]
      ·
      2 years ago

      It was popularized by The Last Podcast on The Left. I know a few people who were convinced by it.

      I tried to give a listen but they're just too annoying. It's also just an annoying theory / argument, you're trying to tell me that it's more likely to have been a freak accident than intentional?

        • Redbolshevik2 [he/him]
          hexagon
          ·
          2 years ago

          Stuffing the bottom of the :pit: with Casper mattresses (please pretend it's five years ago for the sake of this joke).

    • HumanBehaviorByBjork [any, undecided]
      ·
      edit-2
      2 years ago

      It was first advanced in the book Mortal Error. To my mind it accepts the least illuminating evidence (forensic analysis and bullet trajectories) and discards the most illuminating evidence (the associations and biographies of the people surrounding the assassination, and the production of the Warren Report itself).

  • emizeko [they/them]
    ·
    2 years ago

    official story

    most plausible

    stupid turnip expects to be taken seriously

    • HumanBehaviorByBjork [any, undecided]
      ·
      2 years ago

      yeah like, if you believe that, why would you even countenance the SS agent theory? the entire point of it is that the official story doesn't explain all the shots adequately, but if you don't believe that, then what about it is plausible to you?

  • Redbolshevik2 [he/him]
    hexagon
    ·
    2 years ago

    If you believe the official story on JFK, I have to ask how you summon the intelligence to breathe every few seconds.

    • TyMan210 [he/him, comrade/them]
      ·
      2 years ago

      I had never really given it much thought, but after listening to the Blowback episode where they cover it, there really is no way the official story could be true

      • Redbolshevik2 [he/him]
        hexagon
        ·
        2 years ago

        I don't remember that episode tbh, I assume they go in depth on Castro's thoughts.

        Just watching the drama JFK by Oliver Stone was enough for me. JFK Revisited and other documentaries go much deeper, but just what's laid out in that movie makes it extremely obvious that the official story is hilariously false.

          • Redbolshevik2 [he/him]
            hexagon
            ·
            2 years ago

            I just mean that it was a subject that Castro was very passionate about. He studied the politics of the US, arrived at his own conclusions, and spoke about them for hours at a time.

        • TyMan210 [he/him, comrade/them]
          ·
          2 years ago

          I think it was the last episode or two of season two. I think it was just part of the episode, but they go through the timeline of events, from Oswald's backstory to the end of the investigations. Including stuff like how the man that handled all evidence, etc. from the CIA during the investigation later turned out to have been directly involved in the events. The story only works if you look at it in a vacuum and ignore everything around it lol. I'll have to watch that though. I've definitely been more interested in the topic since learning a little about it

          • Redbolshevik2 [he/him]
            hexagon
            ·
            2 years ago

            I'd highly recommend it. Lots of great information in a very compelling package. I still laugh about the reveal that Oswald worked in a building kitty corner to three separate intelligence agencies.

    • TillieNeuen [she/her]
      ·
      2 years ago

      Well you see, the thing about the magic bullet is that it was magic. Duh! :very-intelligent:

    • Redbolshevik2 [he/him]
      hexagon
      ·
      edit-2
      2 years ago

      While Leftists may correctly identify JFK as a cold warrior, as Parenti put it: right wing military circles are notorious for not seeing the world in the same way as left wing analysts. Moreover, he made tons of documented changes in policy during his term and wanted to end the Cold War. The military tried to manipulate him into going full boots on the ground intervention in Cuba and he didn't go for it. That's when they decided he needed to go.

      • AssortedBiscuits [they/them]
        ·
        2 years ago

        Honestly, this could just be a case of Dulles orchestrating the conspiracy because JFK forced Dulles to resign as CIA director. He's enough of a power-tripping sociopath that I could see him doing it out of pure spite. JFK being soft on commies and so on is more to get the other co-conspirators on board.

  • Soap_Owl [any]
    ·
    2 years ago

    The FBI didn't do it but they assumed they did and tried to cover it up untill they found out it wasn't them.

    But also, they probably gave Oswald a gun that wouldn't work but he fixed it cause he was a soldier.

  • Flinch [he/him]
    ·
    2 years ago

    All this talk about the grassy knoll, but no talk about the pollen count in Dallas that day. I submit, that JFK sneezed and his head did that. It's tragic, but also quite impressive.

  • Lilith [she/her]
    ·
    2 years ago
    1. hungover SS agent accidentally shot jfk because he got startled

    2. CIA

    3. his head spontaneously exploded

  • Wertheimer [any]
    ·
    2 years ago

    https://www.theonion.com/november-22-1963-1819587981

  • The_Ancestor [he/him]
    ·
    2 years ago

    A champion markswoman keen for a new kind of challenge. :sicko-fem:

  • TheModerateTankie [any]
    ·
    2 years ago

    It was CIA working with gusanos and the mafia, who were pissed about the bay of pigs.

    Allen Dulles, a director of the CIA and celebrated psychopath who was fired by JFK because of the bay of pigs, was a part of the Warren commission.