So hey what the fuck, am I an idiot for calling myself a lesbian? Or a woman, maybe.
Even if they are made up, that doesn't mean there's anything wrong with identifying with them or that they can't be useful within the context of our current social conditions.
then “lesbian” is only even kind of a sexuality label. It doesn’t indicate if you prefer long hair or short hair, wide hips or slim ones, high voices or low ones, fuck it doesn’t even reliably say what sex hormone you prefer in a partner? What the fuck does it even mean, aside from the queer cultural association I guess… it doesn’t stop being “lesbian” if you include nonbinary people in that, right? But then what the hell even is the definition of “lesbian”? Not really “woman liker”.
Given how masculine my mom is, I find it strange lesbians date her. Gay men also used to be interested in her, mistaking her for a boy. But it apparently still is a functional label somehow.
I guess yeah, like pronouns are socially constructed too but I have no hangups about those. I guess these labels don't really feel useful because they are definitionally wobbly to me. When I processed the "nothing is gendered" thought a few years ago, I just sort of ignored this and existed with the cognitive dissonance because whatever, nobody's gonna interrogate my identity. But it's weird
Okay yeah that weirds me out, the gay men part lol. Liking masculine women is definitely a(n optional) historical part of being a lesbian though.
Does any of this gender bullshit make any sense at all
Okay yeah that weirds me out, the gay men part lol.
She's regularly gendered as a guy (both over the phone and in-person), so not really surprising. I assume she went to gay bars to meet women, so not really weird that other people would be going to the bars for similar reasons. And she seems to be happy the gay men mistook her as an attractive guy, even if she's not into men. She has the opinion gender is just the bits you were born with and nothing else, so I don't really think she believes in gender either. But that leads to a bit of a language barrier in talking about gender. I feel like if she used the language conceptions of words as I do, then she's at least consider herself agender/NB/etc.
Does any of this gender bullshit make any sense at all
Not to me, but maybe I'm just the one missing something.
Okay yeah, I see. Your mum's view of gender is appalling but I guess it's... simple, easy to parse one way to not believe in gender I guess. Also yeah sometimes you get that, where there's a queer (or neurodiverse, etc) person of an older generation who you can tell maybe would fit certain labels, but there's a big barrier in understanding. Just how it be.
Okay well I guess we're missing something together :) I'm not certain about much anymore, like what am I, Idk. Do I wanna identify with these socially constructed labels, if yes why? If no what do?
spoiler
Even if they are made up, that doesn't mean there's anything wrong with identifying with them or that they can't be useful within the context of our current social conditions.
Given how masculine my mom is, I find it strange lesbians date her. Gay men also used to be interested in her, mistaking her for a boy. But it apparently still is a functional label somehow.
yeag
I guess yeah, like pronouns are socially constructed too but I have no hangups about those. I guess these labels don't really feel useful because they are definitionally wobbly to me. When I processed the "nothing is gendered" thought a few years ago, I just sort of ignored this and existed with the cognitive dissonance because whatever, nobody's gonna interrogate my identity. But it's weird
Okay yeah that weirds me out, the gay men part lol. Liking masculine women is definitely a(n optional) historical part of being a lesbian though.
Does any of this gender bullshit make any sense at all
She's regularly gendered as a guy (both over the phone and in-person), so not really surprising. I assume she went to gay bars to meet women, so not really weird that other people would be going to the bars for similar reasons. And she seems to be happy the gay men mistook her as an attractive guy, even if she's not into men. She has the opinion gender is just the bits you were born with and nothing else, so I don't really think she believes in gender either. But that leads to a bit of a language barrier in talking about gender. I feel like if she used the language conceptions of words as I do, then she's at least consider herself agender/NB/etc.
Not to me, but maybe I'm just the one missing something.
Okay yeah, I see. Your mum's view of gender is appalling but I guess it's... simple, easy to parse
one way to not believe in gender I guess. Also yeah sometimes you get that, where there's a queer (or neurodiverse, etc) person of an older generation who you can tell maybe would fit certain labels, but there's a big barrier in understanding. Just how it be.
Okay well I guess we're missing something together :) I'm not certain about much anymore, like what am I, Idk. Do I wanna identify with these socially constructed labels, if yes why? If no what do?