Very relatable. Not sure how long I felt like that, but realized it felt like my body was just a suit I piloted about 8 years ago but didn't know about depersonalization, so didn't really have the words to describe it. Not did I have any clue what might be the cause.
For a bit in school, I had a reputation of not eating, so I was either compared to plants or robots. I'd lean into the latter by intentional having wires from my phone battery back hang out if my pocket sometimes. Being a robot was fairly relatable.
When I first started questioning if I was trans is when I came across that one article that talking about how dissociation can be a hidden sign of dysphoria and that's the first time I was a list of symptoms of it, and I fit almost all of them perfectly. Both depersonalization and derealization.
One time an ER gave me ketamine and when I was coming off of it, one of my mom's tried using the fact that I was still high to "threaten" to paint my nails pink. She had already asked me if I'm a woman before that (which I said no because NB), so I suspect she was trying to use the fact that I was on ketamine to get me to talk more honestly. I should have taken her up on the offer, but I tend to try to just be silent when coming off anaesthetics and such.
Edit: also noticed its largely been gone or at least toned down significantly since like 2 days after starting HRT. Probably just placebo ¯\(ツ)/¯
Happy Early May Day!
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Very relatable. Not sure how long I felt like that, but realized it felt like my body was just a suit I piloted about 8 years ago but didn't know about depersonalization, so didn't really have the words to describe it. Not did I have any clue what might be the cause.
For a bit in school, I had a reputation of not eating, so I was either compared to plants or robots. I'd lean into the latter by intentional having wires from my phone battery back hang out if my pocket sometimes. Being a robot was fairly relatable.
When I first started questioning if I was trans is when I came across that one article that talking about how dissociation can be a hidden sign of dysphoria and that's the first time I was a list of symptoms of it, and I fit almost all of them perfectly. Both depersonalization and derealization.
One time an ER gave me ketamine and when I was coming off of it, one of my mom's tried using the fact that I was still high to "threaten" to paint my nails pink. She had already asked me if I'm a woman before that (which I said no because NB), so I suspect she was trying to use the fact that I was on ketamine to get me to talk more honestly. I should have taken her up on the offer, but I tend to try to just be silent when coming off anaesthetics and such.
Edit: also noticed its largely been gone or at least toned down significantly since like 2 days after starting HRT. Probably just placebo ¯\(ツ)/¯