There once was a beach in Nantucket
With a car that was built like bucket
Wheels stuck in the sand,
His dick in his hand,
Thanking Elon Musk for the bucket.
Edit: just realized it says ‘beach’ not ‘man’, ow well.
Highly unplanned
The car's stuck in the sand
And now there's no way to unfuck it
Salt water made it rusty as fuck.
Chuds say " I still love this truck."
Ah yes, contributing to the cyberpunk aesthetic by leaving rusty shitboxes in random locations
Two hundred years in the future, a young synth stumbles upon it while scanning the beach with a metal detector, looking for bitcoins. That's a common misconception of what a bitcoin was, but to be fair, he's just a kid.
I look forward to a follow up tweet...
Beached Tesla now suffering issues. Body discoloration do to minimal exposure of salt at the beach. Mobility issues apparently due to minimal exposure of sand. Also - apparently any activity on on sand near salt water is not covered by the warranty.
Future tweet by the owner?...
Mr. Musk, sir - I am a real estate agent who typically uses the Cybertruck to commute. (It's super awesome by the way. And my clients love it.) I did use it on the beach the other day for fun and I had some problems. I learned they aren't covered by the warranty? Is is possible to... [wish casting for 200+ words then @ elon @ tesla @ etc]
The eels are going to dine like royalty when the tide rolls in.
Driven this and other beaches on Cape Cod. Doesn’t look like the driver aired down the tires. This is a must for driving on sand there.
The Hummer, as awful as it was, had an auto deflate and inflate feature. Something you’d expect from a six figure off roader.
The pleebs would have to go out and stick a key into the valve and then drive to the first air compressor when you get back on the road.
Probably doesn’t have a physical key. Doubt he has one of those 50¢ tire gauges that have a nub on the back. Shit, the car probably won’t even let you put it in drive if you have less than 10 psi in the tires.
had an auto deflate and inflate feature
See now that's the sort of cool shit I would expect in hyper advanced modern cars, not "don't let it get wet or it'll rust" or "don't stick your fingers in the boot or it'll chop them off automatically."
Remember when internet nerds thought that CyberTruck would become a car used by the Cartel for dumbass reasons?
"Look not everything about the Cybertruck is negative. See, this is a good quote, "once you go Cybertruck, you...never go back".
"But Sir, isn't the whole quote "once you go Cybertruck, you can never go back because your 7-ton fridge is stuck, or updating, or broken, or-"Once you go cybertruck you never go back home because you're stuck on a beach.
the guy crushing his finger in the trunk after being told it was updated for safety is the funniest shit ever
then he was told by the devs "you are doing it wrong" and explained to him that the trunk will close on something even if there is a blockage if it is told to close enough times
yes, they bypass the safety if the owner is persistent enough
Ah Capitalism. Clearly inventing a truck that cannot go on sand was the pinnacle of genius. Lots of apparent demand a low-eye-queue dork like me could not see.
