like, flaccid button and hard slightly under average at best. There is a lot of hateful comments here that make me feel like shit. Please stop. Not every comrade with a penis has a good one. I'm tired of being reminded I can't pleasure partners if I ever stop being such a loser I can't get a partner. Honestly, I don't even try. Button dick stops me. Can we please at least stop the ableism here? I feel enough pain constantly going "oh I want to ask her out.... oh wait, I can't please her" already.
love it when someone comes on here expressing vulnerability and the majority of responses are either "get good at giving head/you're clearly bad at giving head" or "get over it/nobody cares/that's not really an issue here"
I'm sorry OP. This isn't the response you deserve. You will find somebody who loves you and whatever size your junk is, they will love it because it's yours.
Same with whenever balding discourse comes up. It's just a lot of "shave it all off! Bald guys are hot! Look at Lenin!!" and implying they're vain and superficial if they want to keep their hair. Sure, got it, easy dunk, but not helpful and in fact harmful in some cases
eh I’m bald and it sucks and makes it harder to present fem without wigs and shit but ultimately it’s the only answer. We have at best like three things that help with hair loss and they at best slow things down for most ppl and can cause other problems.
At a certain point, even if it sucks to hear, at best all any one can say and all you can do is just accept that that’s the hand you were dealt and make it work as best you can. It can suck and you can be sad about it, I spent more than my fair share feeling that way myself, but if that’s all you’re gonna do is be sad about it you’re holding your own self back at a certain point. Obv there’s better and worse ways to communicate that of course but it’s kind of a no win situation
I feel you, but this kind of misses the point. Even if it's in good faith, if a guy comes on here with insecurities and the crowd's response is "here is how you fix your issue", we're leaning in to society's emotional dismemberment of men. Women, in and out of women-only spaces, can express concerns and be met with sympathy, empathy, and emotional support. Why don't we do that for men? Shouldn't we be doing that for men, if we agree that patriarchy causes harm?
I understand where you’re coming from. I think this kinda comes down like “is this just thread for venting or are you actively seeking a solution” bc there are some things that everyone, not just men, will have to accept as not ideal things in their lives and have to learn to work around that and for me, my hairloss was one of those things I looked for every alternative solution to but I ended up having to accept it and I’ve seen scores of other amab people in hairloss communities do that to bc ultimately it was the only way.
Like definitely some people here have been a little crass about it and that could use some adjustment, and certainly if we want to use this as a jumping off point to discuss body shaming as it pertains to penis size I agree it’s bad. I saw a lot of people on twitter after the Greta tweet that ordinarily would be chill excusing it bc it was directed at a bad person and that kinda rubbed me the wrong way
But wrt talking about a particular person, I think “damn that sucks well there’s other stuff you can do” is really about all one can say. I guess my thing is I see a lot of people who just want to wallow about these unchangeable things, not confront and deal with it. And I’m not condescending it, that was me once too, I’ve been there. That’s fine, that’s a part of the process and it’s ok to be there. But what else can really be said? You can’t just be mad at the situation until it magically fixes itself bc it never will, at a certain point you have to try to find away to deal and grow around and beyond it.
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I'm very clearly not saying that society gives women an easy time with all their issues, but at the same time, if you think that patriarchical society doesn't harm men emotionally, you need to go read some Bell Hooks
Of course it harms men. I totally agree with you there. Forgive me, When you said 'emotional dismenberment' my mind read it as 'emotional castration' because it's something I've seen so often in chud circles. I completely missread what you were trying to say. Please ignore what I said.
you're so valid for that tbh I literally had to go to a thesaurus to try to figure out a word that conveyed the meaning and the significance but also wasn't ableist OR sexist because I got a similar gut feeling to you from my first draft
Isn't the concept that men are conditioned by patriarchy to be emotionally stunted and incapable of vulnerability pretty bog standard in feminist theory? I guess the wording might be a little extreme but I'm surprised to see pushback on that
Sorry I missread them. Disregard my comment
lul read your other comment and with what you thought it said that was a completely reasonable reaction. We stan a poster who clears up misunderstandings :stalin-approval:
there's no magic bullet but a finasteride/minoxidil regimen can do a lot. It comes down to the individual and there are points of no return but for many you can keep your hair longer with a little investment.
Male pattern baldness isn't going to be the same for everyone, especially in terms of progression. My dad had a noticeable bald spot at my age, whereas I've just got some thinning at the hairline and a touch at the crown. Jumping straight to shaving it all off "just to get it over with" as I see some people say is fine for some, especially if the writing's on the wall in early adulthood, but the way I see it pushed as the thing you just have to do and accept or else you're in denial is silly to me
Fin can cause a lot of problems. It can be fine but a lot of people, including myself came away with permanent sexual side effects from it. I genuinely wish I could go back and never take it and just accept it sooner bc the sides were not worth holding onto wispy hair for another couple years or so
Neither is it really a permanent solution, if you stop taking it, it’ll reverse and most people continue to lose hair on it just much slower.
Min mainly brings back baby hairs on the hairline it isn’t as effective for most people
Those things help but they’re not as effective for the majority of people, the guys who maintain and/or grow back a decent amount on them are the outliers
The only real long term solution is hair plugs and even that’s individual. I looked into it for my hairline but my crown would continue to deteriorate over time so for me and a lot of other amab people it isn’t really viable.
It can take time to get there but for now most of the things we have for hair loss are either not super effective, not super safe, or prohibitively expensive. most people with male pattern hairloss are gonna have to accept it and deal with it one day more likely than not
People can be silly about that stuff tho you’re right and part of it is toxic masculinity. I see a lot of guys being dinguses about hair systems bc “not my real hair!”
Yeah fin definitely isn't for everyone. I would push back on the permanency issue, though - it doesn't really need to be permanent, just either until you die or don't care about it. If you catch it early enough, "much slower" can be just fine. Plus it's very cheap now in generic form.
You're right in that it does have to be reckoned with at some point for many people, but I don't necessarily see it as delaying the inevitable, unless you caught it way too late. Instead it's just enjoying the time you have left with it.
I meant the sexual side effects are permanent
tho yeah you do have to take it as long as you’re wanting to keep it bc people shed quick when they come off it. My friend took it til he was in his 30s and practically went from Norwood 2-3 to like ceasar damn near in like a few months or so after stopping.
It’s an option but not a great one tbh with the risks. There’s a reason every doctor I tried to get to give me fin was very reticent. And everyone can make up their own mind based on the risks and stuff but idk if fin alone makes “one day you’ll probably have to accept baldness” obsolete by itself. It works ok for some people but not enough for me to feel secure about that. Hopefully one day they get something that does tho
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I’ve known a few people online and offline including myself. Maybe I’ve just been unlucky and around some other unlucky people but i really regret taking it. I don’t think it’s that uncommon based on the research I did prior to taking it I just decided to do it anyway, like your chances are still good but they’re common enough that warrants some concern.
I agree, although I have to say most of the bald threads I’ve seen was asking about how to style or preserve the little bit of hair left, so advising to shave it is good advice.
But if someone is simply venting and you’re giving a bunch of advice, especially from a point of never having to experience it, it comes off as trivializing
There are two threads I recall but can't remember the state of the Op's hair. You're right that past a certain point shaving is the best move (save the mildly unsettling hair plugs that I doubt many people on here could afford) but the monolithic fashion in which it was suggested put me off a little
My advice to them as a bald man is to get through the process of mourning your hair quickly and just start shaving. In a few months you stop giving a shit.
What I do NOT recommend is trying to hide it (it doesn't work), using a hairpiece (people don't like them and interpret it as insecurity [which it kinda is]), using hair restoration products (they mostly don't work and are a waste of money), or getting cosmetic surgery (really expensive and IMO not worth the expense/risk)
It sucks going bald, especially in your 20s, but it doesn't suck nearly as much as it used to, especially now that beards are in style again.
I agree with you mostly but I think this attitude is kinda borne out of toxic masculinity tbh. Women wear wigs, weaves, and all manner of other stuff and it’s fine, men should be able to do the same. Some of the real hair hair systems that you cut into your hair are really nice and indistinguishable if they’re done right they’re just dumb expensive lol.
Yes and unfortunately to socialize as a man you have to bear the existence of toxic masculinity in mind, as well as just general fashion trends
Toupees are never fashionable or trendy and I have never seen them referenced in any context whatsoever but ridicule, and the bar for a good one, as you just pointed out, is being unable to tell it's not real hair
Grabbing a razor and going full cueball is a cheap and easy option and it's one that is actually in fashion
I guess but part of that is just people buying into it being normalized. Used to be weird for straight guys to wear make up and fingernail polish and now that’s changing. If I could afford them I’d definitely get one just to do different hairstyles for fun but I can’t lol.
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Or we can normalize not stigmatizing baldness which is a lot cheaper
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This was specifically in reference to a toupee worn specifically by a masc presenting cis man to hide the bald spot that society says he should be deeply ashamed of, and how most people will interpret you spending hundreds of dollars on a custom hairpiece to hide a part of your body you do not want people to look at.
Sure, normalize wearing wigs. Fashion rules don't make any goddamn sense at all under serious scrutiny and I by and large don't pay attention to them because I have a hell of a time finding anything that even fits me to begin with.
I just stated my advice which is stop agonizing over baldness as a cis man. After I stopped worrying about it and shaved my head it was a huge relief to my mental health, and I can only imagine how fucking horrible my anxiety would be if I was wearing a toupee to try and hide it if it was successful, let alone if it wasn't. And it would be money I desperately need for other things anyway.
TLDR I'm sorry if my advice came across as rude or heteronormative, I'm just trying to help people with troubles I've already been through
Por que no Los dos
As a not bald man (??? figuring that out atm but I've been living as a man hitherto) I don't think it's appropriate to give one size fits all advice here and this is pretty much the exact thing I dislike seeing. There's definitely a lot of hokum out there, and "restoration" of hair isn't really possible, but I've been on fin/minoxidil for about a year and it's done a good job at arresting the mild hair loss I was starting to see.
I'm glad shaving it all off has worked out for you but pretending it's the only option isn't helpful. I like my hair, and I'd like to keep it for the time being.
My personal experience with those is that eventually they stop working and I was just kicking the can down the road, and I regret ever spending any money on it.
In the long run shaving your head is the strategy that works out best because you can't become balder and it's a look you can easily maintain the rest of your life. I am not giving one size fits all advice, just the advice that worked for me, and expounding the benefits of it.
most people here are viciously cruel whenever they spot the opportunity. it's redditors after all
Death to America
Mfw a reddit spinoff of a banned subreddit is full of redditors
:surprised-pika:
this post is almost certainly bait, but there was a recent attempt at an effort post in c/menby that was met with jokes.
don't make promises you can't keep. Statistically some of us will die alone after decades of misery and loneliness because capitalism alienates us and robs us of opportunities to socialize, and covid means it's unsafe to meet strangers in most of the culturally acceptable ways that used to be available.
charitably, this is an issue with understanding of social norms, but whether or not this is entirely truthful it is very much not helpful
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In hindsoght my comment falls under what you described. Sorry OP