I've had an old habit of veering towards "stomach flu", as you're not expected to have symptoms after you get better. Also IF your boss randomly asks for a doctor's note, the doctor isn't going to stick a finger in your butt to make sure that you, in fact, have diarrhea. And the doctor is likely just going to give you the note.

My problem is that :im-vegan:, so when I'm constantly calling in for stomach bugs, my workmates are always saying "I thought you guys don't get stomach parasites". Also I'm literally the most covid paranoid person I know IRL, N95 mask everywhere and eating in my classroom alone, with windows open if possible. So it's a lot less likely that I'm going to get a cold or the flu.

So what am I going to do next time I need a lie-in? Say I broke a rib? UTI? Aggressive acne?

  • CthulhusIntern [he/him]
    ·
    2 years ago

    If I were a doctor, I'd just give anyone notes for free, no questions asked.

    Are notes actually that difficult to do? Every doctor's note I've ever had was something printed out on their letterhead that just said "he came here this date".

    • TheCaconym [any]
      ·
      2 years ago

      Are notes actually that difficult to do

      No. Once you've got one, making a template is trivial. Scanning the signature of the doctor in high resolution and cutting out its background will also allow you to "sign" future notes. And nobody's calling doctors to check (they might if you were to pull it off every other week of course). And if they did, I'm not even sure most doctors would answer them.

      • StellarTabi [none/use name]
        ·
        2 years ago

        forged doctors note just to have a sick day

        is that technically illegal? I prefer to only commit crimes

        • WhatDoYouMeanPodcast [comrade/them]
          ·
          2 years ago

          Forgery is a white-collar crime that generally refers to the false making or material alteration of a legal instrument with the specific intent to defraud.

          Legal instrument is a legal term of art that is used for any formally executed written document that can be formally attributed to its author,[1] records and formally expresses a legally enforceable act, process,[2] or contractual duty, obligation, or right,[3] and therefore evidences that act, process, or agreement.

          Defraud - (transitive) To obtain money or property from (a person) by fraud; to swindle.

          I reckon that means it'd be illegal if, somewhere in your contract, it said you need to provide a doctor's note. Because handing in a doctor's note doesn't sound like a legal process or right. If it's not in your contract, they might come after you for the term obligation (would also depend on where you live). You'd both be out thousands upon thousands of dollars for the pettiest, dumbest argument to ever exist.

          • Tankiedesantski [he/him]
            ·
            2 years ago

            Not a US lawyer but generally most places have a catch-all crime for lying or using a falsified document for your own advantage. Usually called "fraud" but could be something else where you live.

            Forgery is generally also a crime in itself.

              • Tankiedesantski [he/him]
                ·
                2 years ago

                It's not generally illegal to lie, but it is generally illegal to lie of it benefits you and someone else loses out because of it.

                Lying under oath is a bit different since the prosecution doesn't nerd to prove that you lied maliciously or for your own advantage, only that you lied.