and is going on a date with someone else tonight
we were together for 4 years
e: my moms bf broke up with her yesterday, apparently. anyone else getting hit with insanely bad karma rn?
feels pretty fucking bad ngl
Hang in there, comrade. Possible uplifting story below, but tagging it as a spoiler in case you're not in a place to read it rn.
spoiler
I got sort of dumped on Valentines Day two years ago. I had some famcy plans with someone I had been dating for about four months who stood me up and ghosted me. I didn't hear from her for a month and she barely offered an apology. Two months later I met someone else for what was supposed to be casual thing but that grew to be a relationship with the most wonderful person I've ever known. We're living together and hopefully spending the rest of our lives together.
spoiler
I really needed to hear this - thank you for sharing, comrade. I'm happy for you, and I'm sorry you had to experience that. It helps to remind ourselves sometimes that the end of one thing is the beginning of another. I'll try to stay positive. :meow-hug:
Thank you, comrade :meow-hug: I know I'm shamelessly sympathy fishing here and I kinda hate it... I just don't have many irl friends that live anywhere near me and I hate going through this alone. Yall are some real ones.
Valentines is actually a really common time for breakups, both right before and during. People usually feel super guilty about their desire to breakup and get torn between wrecking valentines and doing it.
I'm sorry comrade. It sucks and 4 years is such a long time, it'll take a lot of time to deal with too but I promise it will eventually get better.
Yeah I'm like doing everything I can to avoid turning on Eternal Sunshine and just crying my eyes out. Seriously, fuck Valentines day. But yall have already made me feel a lot better - I appreciate you, comrade. :stalin-heart:
After three years of dating, I had a partner who broke up with me right after my grandmother died to get back with her ex. I can definitely relate to what you're saying in this thread about how you're feeling about this.
That being said, having things end in such an abrupt, awful way gave me a lot of clarity. As much as it hurt at the time, I'm grateful to have had the opportunity to feel as stupid as I felt. After having time to reflect on that relationship and rethink my priorities, I was much more well equipped to be the best partner I could be when I met my fiance.
This part sucks. It hurts. It's probably going to hurt for a long time. It does get better though, and you're going to be better off for it in the long run
Fuck. :meow-hug:
If they're the kind to dump someone on valentines day then maybe you're better off without them.
What's crazy is that it was just so out of the fucking blue, like none of this seemed like her at all. Made it kind of obvious she had been feeling some way for a while, but just didn't want to talk about it. And I was just over here, thinking she was my forever person. Life goes on, I guess. I appreciate you, comrade :meow-hug:
fwiw this sounds pretty abnormal and i hope in time you can view it as such, rather than an indictment on your personality, or karma, or whatever negative reaction you might naturally have. spend less time tryin to figure it out, to make it end, and more time just chillin in reality. the bad times will pass on their own
just an armchair reaction. maybe it’s all your fault, what do i know
Unfortunately kinda sounds like she might have been cheating if she had a new date set up that quickly.
I'm sorry dude. It hurts now, but it's for the best in the long run. Better to find out her true nature now than even more years down the road. Hopefully you'll find someone better and more faithful.
I don't think she was cheating, but our relationship was riddled with asymmetries. I knew she was bi and wanted to be closer to this woman she had been in kind of a tumultuous but brief relationship with in the past. I trusted her, I told her I wanted her to be happy and feel fulfilled, and so if she wanted to be ENM and be intimate with this woman, I supported her 100%. In the 4 years we dated, she never even introduced me to this person (lmao). I actually can't believe how stupid all of this feels now. I just thought I was doing the right thing for her, now I just feel like a chump.
This isn't even the fucking person she's going on a date with right now, btw, who is apparently some guy she met on Hinge last week. Like... god fucking damn.
Damn sorry
anyone else getting hit with insanely bad karma
Sunday night, a mutual friend (A) relayed to me that they found the cohabitating girlfriend of a former colleague (B), that I still play board games with a few times per years, on Bumble or
Tumblrtinder or something. No mention of polyamory but that potential and not knowing them as well are my rationale for not doing something about it personally:blob-no-thoughts:It always feels rotten to me when someone jumps to a new partner so quick after breaking up with the last one (not a universal view but people really are different). Sorry this happened, dude. But you'd have to be pretty rotten inside to do that to someone, so to hell with them.
it's funny to me now, and even at the time (years ago) i was more confused than hurt but i remember i split with a partner after about 6 months together and like 48 hours later all her social media stuff was her all posed up lovey-dovey with some new guy who looked a lot like me. not a twin, but even i was like, "uh... does that guy look like me to you?" and my friend was like, "lol, that's why i showed you."
i had gotten off social media earlier that year, so i was kinda out of the loop. both of us were like late 30s too, if that matters.
i try not to have judgement for how people find each other, because everything is a mess, but when people go from one thing to something else really quickly, my gut reaction is to make the same face as when someone over 12 puts a lot of ketchup on scrambled eggs.
It sucks. Similar thing happened to me (but not as bad) last year. Gf of 3 years broke up with me, immediately moved out but needed my help to carry her belongings out. Amicable, right? We both felt bad about it. Then I found out via shared calendar she was going out with a coworker. Felt like garbage for 3 months maybe? Drunk every night for a week. Now better but still a bit mad.
found out via shared calendar she was going out with a coworker.
Jesus fucking christ. That's rough, man. If it makes you feel any better, my ex from 5 years ago (who I dated for 5 years) ended our relationship by essentially stealing my car for a joyride, ramming it into a fucking pole, totaling it and getting a DUI. I was out of town and had literally been gone for only 2 days when I got the call from her sister that she was in jail. Before I left town I literally made her look into my eyes and promise me she wouldn't drive my car drunk while I was gone. :shrug-outta-hecks: So, at least she didn't financially kneecap you and almost kill herself in the process? This person never paid me back for the car, obviously :stalin-approval:
I actually did buy a car for this girl just a few months before we broke up! Not my preference but still a reasonably nice Forester, like $6k. But losing a car is way less bad than losing your car, plus there was no insurance battle (or court summons, etc). I was much more torn up about the breakup for a while - I wanted to marry her - but you know, goddamn it would have been way worse had we been married.
So yeah these things happen, all you can do is give yourself space to heal so you're not too cynical. I'm still not 100% there but most of the way. Wishing strength (and supportive friends) for you.
Thank you so much comrade :meow-hug: it's crazy that so many of us seem to get more support here than from our actually families or friends. You guys make all of my hardest days a little easier :powercry-1: I love yall
I was typing out a huge thing of what happened to me last week with my partner when i decided I dont want to think about it and deleted it all.
Stay strong comrade. Its hard.
I 100 percent get that. I'm sorry, comrade. If you change your mind and wanna pm me I'm down to talk! :meow-hug:
