After i cracked, i went through a grieving phase for the girl i hadn't been allowed to be and after that another grieving phase for pre-transition me, a cringe but genuinely nice person that couldn't live on any longer. It's part of the process i guess. It's normal to feel like that for a while and accepting these feelings as legitimate and living through them is part of moving beyond them at some point.
After i cracked, i went through a grieving phase for the girl i hadn't been allowed to be and after that another grieving phase for pre-transition me, a cringe but genuinely nice person that couldn't live on any longer. It's part of the process i guess. It's normal to feel like that for a while and accepting these feelings as legitimate and living through them is part of moving beyond them at some point.