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I eat. I talk to the people around me. I play games that let me feel like I can have some sort of impact on the world around me. I watch porn.
When I have a particularly stressful day at work which is basically every day because nursing is absolutely fucked and you're doing 50% more because companies want to keep making obscene amounts while the industry is collapsing because conditions are so fucked, I tend to look for something to eat. I feel better after eating and then I feel guilty because I'm already fat. It's not healthy and frankly at this point I'm sorta hoping it takes me out young because everything is horrible anyway.
The healthiest thing I do is talking to people and venting about my day, I don't have many people to talk to about the actual deep stuff though and everyone else is sick of me repeating myself about the broken world we live in and my shitty experiences within it.
I like building games and games with a notable progression because unlike IRL progression, I can have some power over the world in Vic3 or Dyson Sphere Program.
Sex positivity is cool and I wish more people would be, you see it a lot around porn games, but it is kinda weird how we're so okay with violence and gore being shown to children yet we shame people's bodies for being indecent. Maybe we should also make sure kids aren't watching violence or simulated violence to such a degree where they end up viewing war as another Marvel franchise,
The evidence that pornography is addictive ranges from very weak to blatant religious propaganda.
halfway to religious weirdos just with the unproven assumption its 'addictive' and inherently ethically damaging to gaze upon.
Kids messing up their brains
prove it.
Plenty of men are addicted to it
prove it. 'not being able to' do a study is not evidence.
It has had an impact on men’s view on women and has objectified them further
prove it.
you're expecting me to take these as fact on faith but this is totally not influenced by religious moralism :lenin-sure:
I think everyone has eyes and ears to see how men that watch pornography act like around women
today i learned watching animated beastars porn of two furry dudes fucking makes me act misogynistic :hexbear-gay-pride:
sorry ladies :bawllin-sad: that wolf man got me acting up fr
I’m atheist
you don't have to believe in the theology to have beliefs influenced by a religious culture. everyone knows pornography can meet criteria for individuals' behavioral problems, but there is no credible proof for pornography's unique and exceptional ability to inspire such. if all men watch porn, and all men treat women poorly does that mean its porn's fault? or maybe we live in a misogynistic culture whose media production reflects that?
scapegoating a certain kind of media production & consumption for a wide range of structural problems with way more consequential antagonists is missing the target. women's liberation is not a personal moral struggle between men & skinflicks, or men and prostitution for our historical analogue---'progressives' banning prostitution to 'help women' put millions of people in jail, underground, and empowered abuse. how about we give porn performers the workplace safety & economic security to decide for themselves what form the industry takes/should it exist?
This isn’t an argument made by religious people. If you don’t think it fits the bill for behavioral addiction then good for you, but for many it really tripped off their lives. Kids messing up their brains because of what they’ve been exposed on the television doesn’t seem exactly what one would call healthy. Plenty of men are addicted to it, double blind studies weren’t possible because researchers couldn’t find men who didn’t watch TV. Obviously, you’re free to partake in the industry and all, but it’s one of the most exploiting ones out there. It has had an impact on men’s view on women and has objectified them further, not to speak of minorities. It has been only allowed to proliferate because of the alienation present in late capitalist societies.
not really seeing arguments in this thread i'm just seeing a bunch of straight dudes failing to deal with their religious guilt and failing to observe that nonexploitative porn exists :shrug-outta-hecks:
question: if I pay an artist to draw a picture of anubis with his dick out, who is getting exploited here, egyptologists?
Studies are beginning to be done and it’s clearly an addiction.
could you care to link those studies? because both of the threads you link just have dudes saying that porn is "poison to your body" and "disgusting stuff", which I don't see how you get to that conclusion materially
Regarding studies, a quick search will bring up a plethora
so provide one if it's so easy to find, don't just say "do your own research" and post threads of guilty straight men saying "I would NEVER do to a woman the shit i’m into" while posting NoFap self-help books.
the reason why anti-porn usually falls into right-wing pipeline is because it's inherently a right-wing ideology entrenched in religious guilt. Nobody is getting meaningfully hurt or exploited when someone posts erotic fiction of having gay sex with an argonian on AO3, that's like saying films are inherently exploitative and we should not watch them when home movies exist, that's like saying eating is inherently exploitative and harmful when a vegan diet exists
you're projecting your mainstream and straight-centric experience onto the entirety of porn, which isn't inherently any more exploitative or addictive than video games or consuming any other form of media, which is why you haven't provided any studies showing otherwise
You assume things which you don’t know about me, for one.
I definitely didn't assume a dude telling me that I'm exploiting women when I jack it to gay furry porn lmao
All addictions work on the same principle, hijacking the pleasure system of our brains.
cool, if all addictions work on the same principle and you can't provide a single study about how porn is uniquely bad in this regard, use this energy to complain about the zoomers playing video games instead of wasting your time acting like a religious crank in a queer space
i wish lemmygrad had a pronoun system so I could tell if they're dudes, but you're right, the poster that said "I quit consuming porn once I realized that I was doing it as a form of escapism. I really do not recommend ever consuming it as it produces a crooked conception of women, making you see them as mere objects of gratification instead of actual human beings." might not be a straight dude, "I would NEVER do to a woman the shit i’m into, niche porn sites are the only places where i can find that kind of stuff while also being able to lie to myself by saying “this is ok because i am not actually doing it”." might not be a straight dude either
now hand me that study, pretty please?
What is your coping mechanism?
booze
How do you deal with a balance between it being escapism/addiction (if it’s the case) and healthy
lack of money for booze
also videogames, ttrpgs, and books i guess
I started learning a second language so I can interact with people outside my country beyond staring and pretending I understand.
I got some language software to start Spanish, so I can now understand Spanish speaking people around me. I have a chance for some real life exposure. Not able to hold a conversation yet but it's a start.
Yeah I was mostly shitposting
That sounds good. I always find it really difficult to maintain stuff like that tho for me.
Tbh usually I just try to make tome to completely unplug from things completely bc i get pretty easily overwhelmed and have to step away to recover. I don’t necessarily think this is the best approach and I could definitely cope better but it’s what I most settled into
humor is a good coping mechanism for me, I enjoy trying to make others laugh and generally being silly. I've been trying to avoid more negative stuff in general and focus on the positives like spending time with my friends/partners and working on my more creative hobbies.
I try to make other people laugh even when I can't feel good, it does help. Makes me feel a little connected.
Marijuana and masturbation. Nothing else even makes me feel anything anymore.
No, that's not true, that's the anhedonia. I like reading a lot. I ruminate on my stories but feel too tired and scared to write them down lately. I reach out to friends, I laugh at memes, I listen to music. I have a few songs that always evoke a feeling even in the depths of depression. I'm really deeply sad all the time because I feel like I can't connect with anyone, so I always feel like I'm on my own for all of this shit, and it makes me neglect the friends I do have.
Also, therapy. I have a therapy session this Thursday even though I can't afford it.
i used to mix it up between tobacco, cannabis, alcohol, junk food and video games.
i tapered off drinking by like 80% when i moved into the middle of nowhere, alone. i didn't expect to do slow my drinking so drastically, but something about drinking alone, literally miles away from others, felt less glamorous and sophisticated than it did when i used to do it on my front porch and shoot the shit with neighbors. now that i'm back in The City, it's never really come back. in 2021, decades of shitty eating combined with high anxiety culminated in health markers where my primary care physician was like, "hey, if you can stop drinking completely, you should." so i did, generally. i had like 3 drinks in 2022. i have had 1 very small drink so far in 2023. some fruity little sour 3% beer i sipped over an hour to be social. my numbers are a lot better now across the board, with only a few being outside of optimal. and i lost 5 lbs since october, which my GP described as "very cool."
i quit tobacco when covid happened. it was very tough until it wasn't. i definitely ate more and terribly for a while.
i still do cannabis, but i used to be a Smoke Weed Er'reday guy and now it's more like, once a week-ish, if i remember to, and just a little bit. usually while i'm cleaning the house.
i still do junk food sometimes, but i don't keep snackies around the house and have been trying to be more intentional / less compulsive when i eat. like i try to taste the food and enjoy it, instead of cramming it into my animal shaped mouth machine. if i have an upsetting day though, you can almost guarantee i'm getting some easy, trashy takeaway for one of my meals.
i still do some gaming, but usually only for a few hours a few days a week, and generally as a social thing with long distance friends. very casual compared to what i was. i still do like to mix video games with cannabis.
i bite the shit out of my nails though, when anxious. i try to never do it in front of others and sometimes try to keep floss around in places so i could maybe replace the urge with something also grooming oriented that would be a "positive" habit. i used to have those little cheap emery boards around too, so i could file down any hangers, but i used 'em up and should get more.
i'm also on beta blockers for BP and i think it's taken the edge off of things enough to give me some perspective/awareness of my anxiety, instead of just being in it, white knuckling my way through life. i definitely have become aware in the last years of how much i clench my jaw while just casually existing in what i would otherwise consider a relaxed state.
thanks! the last 3 years have been kinda shit with each trip to the doc being like "you are more fucked up now" despite giving up drinking and smoking, which was very disheartening... but sticking with it seems to be moving the needle in the right direction finally.
Codependency. Working real hard to change that but it is an uphill battle. It is very difficult for me to make a decision all on my own. I thought I'd resolved this but it turns out I just married a person who didn't abuse my codependent tendencies and I guess that's not the same thing.
Weed when I can't just go into the mountains. That's the real cope for me. I'd be skiing, climbing, hiking, camping always if not for needing a job and having therefore to live in a city to have such job.
I just wanna hangout with cool rocks and some nice birds man.
Ya and I'm lucky. My city is pretty close to the mountains... But that still leaves only weekends maybe if like you're not too tired from work and traffic isn't so bad and you feel.like paying for gas and the check engine light isn't on... Etc.
But ya basically only good thing for me is services. People like people being around them. I get that though for me a few friends out doing any activity I mentioned best way to socialize.
Definitely not turn back time. Small Town living is far from perfect. Just personally I'd take those annoyances over big city problems. And of course cities would be great if what you said wasn't true. If people could actually make communities. Not just happen to live on top of each other with no interaction
Self-harm via rigorous exercise. Now punishing my body makes me look aesthetic af instead of covered in scars. This usually best applies to martial arts training because it’s extra punishing. My meditative spot is between kicks on the heavy bag, yoga is for increasing flexibility
I do it at home with my wife. She found a youtube instructor that specializes in routines for chronic pain conditions that works really well for her. Like I said I just like it because it helps me regain mobility in my shot hips and knees. One of my gyms used to offer capoeira classes on Saturday but a very slowed down version that was basically yoga/cool-stretching
It absolutely can be a meme, but I can attest that having a more sophisticated stretching routing helped me with neck problems that had persisted for over a year.
False, as a brown belt in BJJ I can confirm that the goal of martial arts is to feel like an anime character
