actually feeling good for once today and thinking that i might just make it
i stopped taking my hrt for a couple days but i'm back on it and getting back on really boosted my mood
boob
also i think that restarted my breast growth?? i've been told before that briefly stopping then starting hrt again can help with growth but i thought that was just made up bs but this is the itchiest/sensitive they've been since like the first few months of hrt. i really really really hope this isn't just cope, they're too small and spaced apart right now and it looks fucked up so i really hope that gets fixed soon. my chest/rib/shoulder area is second only to my face in terms of dysphoria so if that could get sorted out and start looking like actual boobs instead of moobs then that's be a huge weight off of my mind
.
also also i'm going to start trying to avoid /tttt/ and associated subreddits and discords, i was just festering in my self-hatred and being in an environment where other people egg that on is so addictive but also destructive. i do hate myself but i've got to learn not to if i ever want to be happy and i'll never learn how by staying there. i've got really bad self-destructive impulses (hence why i stopped hrt) and i've really got to work on that
finally i'm going to try and push myself to actually do more for my transition in the next week or two. beyond hrt i haven't really done anything else which is probably why i still don't pass at all, i've just been hoping it'll do all the work but it seems like that isn't going to happen for me. i've mostly been too afraid of trying anything more feminine out of the fear that it'll make me look/feel even worse and more masculine, so i still haven't really ever done makeup or voice training or learning fashion etc. so i'm going to actually give makeup a go here really soon
actually feeling good for once today and thinking that i might just make it
i stopped taking my hrt for a couple days but i'm back on it and getting back on really boosted my mood
boob
also i think that restarted my breast growth?? i've been told before that briefly stopping then starting hrt again can help with growth but i thought that was just made up bs but this is the itchiest/sensitive they've been since like the first few months of hrt. i really really really hope this isn't just cope, they're too small and spaced apart right now and it looks fucked up so i really hope that gets fixed soon. my chest/rib/shoulder area is second only to my face in terms of dysphoria so if that could get sorted out and start looking like actual boobs instead of moobs then that's be a huge weight off of my mind
.
also also i'm going to start trying to avoid /tttt/ and associated subreddits and discords, i was just festering in my self-hatred and being in an environment where other people egg that on is so addictive but also destructive. i do hate myself but i've got to learn not to if i ever want to be happy and i'll never learn how by staying there. i've got really bad self-destructive impulses (hence why i stopped hrt) and i've really got to work on that
finally i'm going to try and push myself to actually do more for my transition in the next week or two. beyond hrt i haven't really done anything else which is probably why i still don't pass at all, i've just been hoping it'll do all the work but it seems like that isn't going to happen for me. i've mostly been too afraid of trying anything more feminine out of the fear that it'll make me look/feel even worse and more masculine, so i still haven't really ever done makeup or voice training or learning fashion etc. so i'm going to actually give makeup a go here really soon
Good!!! So proud of you!!! Keep it up girlie!!! 🏳️⚧️🏳️⚧️🏳️⚧️🥰🥰🥰🏳️⚧️🏳️⚧️🏳️⚧️
Based alert. The only good thing that comes out of there is DIY guides.
Congratulations in general, none of what you mentioned is easy but you've got this.