58% sounds like exactly the score the Mario movie deserves. It was… fine. I enjoyed watching it a lot more than I thought I would. I wouldn’t put it on again.
Separately I hope the Little Mermaid doesn’t suck too bad, my partner and I got tickets to see it a day early (Wednesday) bc the original was her favorite Disney movie growing up
Sounds like Halle Bailey is good, but it's still fundamentally a cg nightmare that didn't need to be made.
Also Disney are cowards, doing "live action" and not getting a drag queen for Ursula.
Real shit though, I don't care about most of these soulless CGI remakes (though I think they are all pretty pointless), but this one really enrages me. Howard Ashman was literally dying of AIDS when he did his work for The Little Mermaid and Beauty and the Beast. Those two films are a great artists last work and should have been left the fuck alone.
Halle Bailey
:stalin-stressed: I have seriously thought it was Halle Barry this entire time what the fuck
Mom, mom! Listen, I know it's a 58pct, but it's a good score actually. Never mind mind the average or distribution of other scores, it's more than 50pct therefore it's good. Please accept that my potential is that of a very middling (technically "rotten" but nearly "fresh") movie aimed for literally babies and the least interesting people alive.
An astute point and one I'll make when I petition rotten tomatoes to lower their extremely onerous "fresh" threshold.
Yeah, I think a lot of the discrepancy from the critic and audience score of the Mario movie comes from the movie being made specifically to cater to kids and adults that like Nintendo games. That audience largely enjoyed it (and was probably most of the people that went to the movie), while critics were of course more mixed and for good reasons.
Hope your parent chaperone lets you guys get all the soda and popcorn and Reese's Pieces y'all can handle.
The original Little Mermaid came out in 1989, meaning their partner is probably between 24 and 44 years old.
I do not care how bad my life gets, I'll still be sweating it out arguing about anime in comment sections.
How dare critics go and critically review my cinematic classics: soulless cash grab IP juggernauts
This exact narrative of the one good anti-woke nerd slop movie has played out with like dozen movies in the past 6 or 7 years. Before Mario, it was Sonic. At one point it was Battle Angel Alita.
What's hilarious is that just before/when the Mario movie came out these nerds were screaming woke agenda for girl boss princess peach
The bleakest live action reboot- oh don't you know that under the sea everything is gloomy and nearly colorless??? Maybe you don't understand underwater light you fucking idiot, it's supposed to look horrible
There's gonna be a scene of Ariel swimming and little strings of fish poop are going to be coming out of her fish butt and in twenty years "cloaca" will be a top fetish on Furaffinity.
People just blasting ropes into a swimming pool and shaking hands like, well done, well done
I mean there's bright lighting at like 1:38, only for like, 20% of the trailer, but I don't think it looks that bleak, the dark scenes set the tone for the scary scenes that were in the original, which I guess they showed more of
the mario movie was about as plotless as the games
I apparently did not enjoy soyfacing over mario references as much as MOST_Biased.
No butterfly tears? You didn't clap when you saw the thing? :lenin-rage:
the mario movie fucking sucked. nintendo took the easy route and made a movie for extremely young children who
-
wont get most of the references to older mario games that were only put in so millennials would go :soypoint-2: OOOOOO DO U REMEMBER THAT!!!1 I REMEMBER THAT!!
-
don't know or care who tf seth rogen and charlie day and shit are
i guess they made it knowing older ppl would take their kids to it so it'd still rake in all the money
Lol...I mean....Mario is a fucking children's franchise. To be clear I think that the Lego movie alone definitively proves that an animated children's movie made in the Hollywood system based on a children's toy can be not only good, but great (profound dare I say even)....but I also think its kind of silly to expect that as a default from a children's movie.
Nintendo didn't partner up with fucking early 00s Pixar to make a profound emotionally impactful family film. They partnered up with the minions studio and made a perfectly serviceable middling children's movie that I can assure you as the parent of an 8 year old satisfied its target demographic immensely.
imo mario isn't a children's franchise. it's a 'anybody who can buy it' franchise. it's just kid-friendly. and my criticism isn't that i expected an adult movie, it's that the movie had all those stars and references in it to draw in an older crowd, but they did nothing beyond that to keep the older crowd engaged. they did just the bare minimum. and i didn't expect anything pixar quality but i did expect at least despicable me quality. all i'm saying is the movie definitely could have been a lot better but nintendo obviously just wanted to make a cashgrab. and obviously that's not some new revelation to me, that nintendo would do something like that
imo mario isn’t a children’s franchise.
Yes it is! Lol. Edit: I don't mean this as an insult. I enjoy plenty of children's media also like Avatar Last Air Bender, Disney, even the occasional marvel. But still..yeah...its children's media.
that's not children's media tho, you're conflating media that's kid friendly with media that's made for kids. the creators of avatar specifically said it's not for kids. it just happened to be on nickelodeon.
kid media would be something like bluey. it's made for kids, but adults can also watch it with their kids if they can tolerate it.
mario is something an adult can play just because they want to enjoy it for its merits
...there's a difference between "for kids" and "family/all ages"
See I know people say that, but nah, they're fooling themselves. The only "difference" is that one of them is "good", and one of them is "bad".
Mario is a "kids" movie cause its dumb and middling kids movie. Lego movie is a "family picture" because it's actually a really fucking good kids movie. The truth is that they're both kids movies.
All the work studio ghibli puts out is also "for children," and every animation deals with deep themes. The only children's media I excuse on this front is stuff made for toddlers like peppa pig. Not to say, i expected the mario movie to have had deep themes or anything, i didn't, i expected it to be slop. I don't think it being children's media is an excuse for it being slop, tho. It being the mario franchise is excuse enough.
All the work studio ghibli puts out is also “for children,”
Love to show children Grave of the Fireflies right after My Neighbor Totoro :miyazaki-laugh:
And to be clear I'm not saying we shouldn't advocate for children's media to be good or that you can't critique a movie on the grounds that it's for children.
I just think it's amusing how many people are upset or shocked that its dumb children's slop and a cash grab. If anything that should have been the default presumption, like you said.
Children's movies can and should be good, especially because children absorb so much in their formative years and should have good things to absorb.
"X is for babies" :brainworms: simultaneously dismiss those concerns as beneath them and also imply that there's some threshold where we all must consume exclusively :awooga: :libertarian-alert: :hypersus: to be accepted as proper adult consumers.
Yeah most kid animations in general suck. The cgi all feels so soulless too, Into the Spiderverse is one of the exceptions I can think of, but I'm honestly kind of bummed we're not really gonna getting much hand-drawn 2d animation stuff with actual character to it anymore
100% with you on that, if nothing else the only thing that's shocking to me is that other people are shocked
-
I get the impression this persons three brain cells don’t even understand how the rt rating works it sounds like they think the critics held a meeting and collectively voted on the 58 number
It literally means the majority of critics gave it a positive review you fucking dullard
:frothingfash: less WOKE mermaid more BASED plumber
seriously wtf is happening, i cant even find words strong enough to express my contempt for this person
The Mario movie was procedurally generated slop.
To be clear, so is this Little Mermaid remake, just like all of the Disney live action remakes.
I love how Halle Bailey is probably the ONLY part of the remake that isn't meh (amazing voice, seems like a great actor, looks great in the role) and somehow she's the only part most people are complaining about
RETVRN to childhood cartoons :up-yours-woke-moralists:
Disclaimer: I don't subscribe to "X is for babies because it is not Gambo enough" :brainworms: either. I'm mocking the pretenses of self-described Grown-Ass Men(tm) gatekeeping entertainment intended for children.
