[CW: racism]
Yes a no Asian policy is super racist imo.
I remember when my brother-in-law who lives in China came to visit, and my sister was like "yeah he wants to go clubbing because he couldn't date much in China" I was confused and asked why, and she said "Well... I mean... he's not interested in asian girls. You wouldn't want to date an asian guy, would you?" She got so annoyed when I replied "I dunno, I date based on personality so if I met a guy I got along with and he happened to be asian, then yes I would date him." she acted like I was lying just to be politically correct or something, but I was telling 100% the truth (my whole family is white for context)
Wild. Like she can't even comprehend interracial groupings in the slightest
she said "Well... I mean... he's not interested in asian girls. You wouldn't want to date an asian guy, would you?"
At first I was completely baffled by this because I thought it was a Chinese guy being spoken about.
But even without that, there are so many layers of assumption in that that it's hard to know where to start. Maybe with "Is there no difference between a Chinese native and a fully integrated Chinese diaspora in America?" Like, maybe that seems like a worse place to start than the gender aspect, but if you unpack the diaspora part the inevitable axiom it's based on is of a racial essentialism that transcends culture.
Unless she literally just means facial features or something, in which case it's stupid to lump even all Chinese people together, let alone "Asians", but some whites are just fucking obsessed with epicanthic folds I guess. Like, I can understand if there's a correlation between an ethnicity and facial features you don't prefer, but there is much more variance within these groups than between them, so there usually needs to be some serious "unconscious" racism to just say "Yeah, Han people are all ugly to me, that's a blanket 'no' to any of them as a partner".
are you doing okay, dude? this is the 3rd time you've posted about this.
At least he's complaining about it here rather than on an incel board
Hey, you don't know that. He might be on some circlejerk "tfw no gf" subs, but I don't think we have anyone who is unironically on an incel board.
I dated a Chinese American woman years ago and at one point she asked me if I was dating her "because she was asian" and holy shit was that one of the most heartbreaking things. I cannot imagine living under the weight of that fetishization, always wondering what your boyfriend's real "motives" are.
A couple of my real "holy shit racism is real!" Moments were when I was dating women who weren't white, and realizing with shock and horror that people around me saw them completely differently than I did. I still remember walking through Madison holding hands with a black woman and the stares from people in the street were terrifying. I'm a semi-professional weirdo, I'm used to people looking at me, and this was just completely different, a mix of spectacle and hate.
Idk, I'm white, and a lot of my "education" in racism has been from gut-punch moments like that, where I got a tiny glimpse of the seething hatred of white society towards anyone different.
Asia is very patriarchal it's pretty normal to go to the bar with the boys. And by bar i mean hook up parlor type deal with plenty of mostly human trafficked women.
Also can the thumbnails go back to being on the left side? It's kind of annoying when they're on top of the text.
I think it's weird and dumb, but I'm just a person. I suppose you can do whatever you want. Will it lead to really shallow, dumb places I'd never want to be in? Possibly. Does it make genuine connection based off simply liking the other person more difficult when you're measuring them with calipers? Probably. Would I ever? Fuck no.
