This post will be dripping with desperation as I just need someone to talk to, moved away from my few friends in my hometown and have been pretty isolated for a while. I'm a 22 year old probably autistic dude (I think, you know how confusing that can be). I have some interests that I've been losing due to depression but I can still talk about them, music, art, politics (duh), science and philosophy stuff. I can also just bullshit about anything I love people and talking to them it's just hard for me to reach out. I've been active here for years but not really conversational with people as I feel disconnected like I don't belong in whatever community I'm in, even this one as accepting as it is. Maybe shoot me a dm and we can talk here or through somewhere else ,I'd really appreciate it. Going through mental health struggles and that shit , so fucking stressed and broke. I thought about asking for money here but I still think others need it more and just having someone else to talk to could probably help me more. <3

  • emizeko [they/them]
    ·
    edit-2
    1 year ago

    what I did was I strapped on my friend helmet, squeezed myself down into a friend cannon, and fired myself off into friend land where friends grow on friend trees

    sadness

  • culpritus [any]
    ·
    1 year ago

    Do you have any 'touch grass' or 'grill pill' protocols? Things you just enjoy doing for the sake of it? That's usually a good place to find IRL people to socialize with or local community connections. Volunteering can also be a good option sometimes.

    What are some things you like to talk about? All the things you listed seem pretty good, but just take a stab at something to break the ice with it.

    • Octagonprime [any]
      hexagon
      ·
      1 year ago

      I don't really, I live in a semi rural area there's not much to do, especially if you don't drive and just walk places. I would volunteer but I barely can manage my time enough to take care of myself and go to work.

      • culpritus [any]
        ·
        1 year ago

        That's pretty rough.

        Just try your best to stay open to social opportunities when they arise. Sometimes it's worth it just to try something different to shake yourself out of your patterns a bit, even if you feel like it won't be worth it at first. And remember that failure is not a destination, give yourself credit for making the attempt and see what lessons you can take from it.

      • StewartCopelandsDad [he/him]
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        edit-2
        1 year ago

        aw sorry. i'd hang out if you lived in my city

        you also have the probably-hellish option of the "friend" setting on Bumble lol. i like my online friends but seeing them in person is way better, I think you need that

      • 187_Invitation [he/him]
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        1 year ago

        Hey I live in a semi rural area and it absolutely sucks ass. Have you tried foraging before? It's a good way to spend some free time this seasons and also good exercise.

  • Octagonprime [any]
    hexagon
    ·
    1 year ago

    Also if anyone plays xbox and has game pass let me know if you'd want to play insurgency , it's a semi milsim semi arcade shooter and I could just use someone to help push back against people being toxic and bigoted

    • GaveUp [she/her]
      ·
      edit-2
      1 year ago

      Long shot but do you play Pokemon showdown? I do randbats nowadays but used to do OU and some Ubers like almost a decade ago lol

  • Octagonprime [any]
    hexagon
    ·
    1 year ago

    I'm also bad at describing myself so if anyone would like to put some questions in the comments for me that'd be cool

      • Octagonprime [any]
        hexagon
        ·
        1 year ago

        I like a lot of different things , folk rock and folk punk, lo fi sad Boi shit like Teen Suicide, some post hard-core and punk , death grips are probably my favorite band. If anyone wants an obscure weird dark folk album with lyrics about different cults somewhere between death grips and neutral milk hotel I recommend amateur childbirth's self titled

        • WideningGyro [any]
          ·
          1 year ago

          Not sure if it fits the bill, but ever listened to Comus - First Utterance? It's dark, edgy progressive folk from 71'. Feels like something that should be playing during a cult sacrifice or something

          • Octagonprime [any]
            hexagon
            ·
            1 year ago

            No ill definitely check it out, anytime I look for dark folk I find weird fash and trad stuff and it discourages me

            • WideningGyro [any]
              ·
              1 year ago

              Tbf, Comus is edgy enough that I won't vouch for their politics at all. That said, it isn't explicitly political.

              Speaking of weird folk artists that are definitely good people, do you know Richard Dawson? His album Peasant is a wonderfully odd depiction of medieval life focusing on people's real, material conditions without a sliver of traditionalist glorification or classist "everyone interesting is a knight/price" chivalry bullshit. It tells beautiful, ordinary and historically correct tales about normal people living in the absurd fever dream that was middle age Europe. And the artist seems like a really good dude. His newest album is stories from a post-capitalist collapse dystopian world, but I haven't dove into it yet, so can't recommend it.

        • GaveUp [she/her]
          ·
          1 year ago

          Ooo I'm a sucker for contemporary folk music

          Mostly indie folk though and Joanna Newsom

          Do you have any folk punk recommendations?

          • Octagonprime [any]
            hexagon
            ·
            1 year ago

            Defiance, Ohio is based, more on the folk rock indie side but definitely radical and makes me feel warm inside

        • Llituro [he/him, they/them]
          ·
          1 year ago

          My favorite folk punk is probably either the various faces of pat the bunny or days n daze.

    • Octagonprime [any]
      hexagon
      ·
      1 year ago

      Yeah I do quite a lot, taking a tolerance break right now because of being broke and it's rough but at the same time I need it

    • Awoo [she/her]
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      edit-2
      1 year ago

      This is a genuinely solid suggestion but I will add to it: Join a discord and PARTICIPATE.

      You get back from it what you put in, and you don't become a community member that other people know and like without participating.

      What are friend groups? They are groups of people that regularly do things together. It is repetition that forges them into friends.

      Join a community and participate every day. Interact with others, and do things together. Make something. Play something. Do events with them. Set up something on a specific date at a specific time with others. Friendships will forge from repetition. A good portion of it is similar to organising, except it's social instead of political.

  • usernamesaredifficul [he/him]
    ·
    1 year ago

    You sound like a cool guy but friendships online can be difficult as you aren't really in each others life. If there's a place you could go like a church, cricket club, etc where people are social I would reccomend doing that so you can build real life networks

    Wishing you the absolute best of luck

    • GaveUp [she/her]
      ·
      1 year ago

      I've never had online friends before but I have a friend who pretty much only ever had online friends her entire life and her girlfriend moved in with her recently and she sees somebody IRL from that online group once every few months

      I think it's fine as long as you still try to socialize IRL, whether it's meeting said online friends or gaining confidence and social skills to be out in the real world because you had online friends rather no friends

  • moonlake [he/him]
    ·
    1 year ago

    Do you like listening to podcasts? It obviously can't replace real relationships but it helps, especially if it's a conversational podcast with 2 or more people.