And the “scare people away” thing is usually something painfully innocuous like me moving my appendages in a quirky way or being too passionate about something that I find interesting
Where tf are you all irl?
Sometimes I can't tell if I've scared them away as you said or if I'm being too aloof or something?
Like I intentionally try not to say anything too personal or forthcoming so as to not scare them but maybe I'm overcompensating and coming off like I don't really care
Or maybe I'm just missing something that's really obvious to other people lol
Yeah same, tbh. One of the biggest things I internalized in high school was "don't do anything that might possibly draw attention to yourself, because if the wrong person notices and jumps on it, they'll bully you for years to come." I'm in my 30s and I'm still unlearning that lesson.
this is why I’ve preferred to say nothing instead of anything my whole life, but it hasn’t gotten me anywhere. Turns out that goes the same way when you actually do try to say somethingI dont think Im that easy to scare away. Like you would have to puke on my shirt first time we meet to give me a really bad impression.
Where tf are you all irl?
At home, with a tummy ache and depression
Online friend groups are created more through repetition than anything else. Literally just joining a discord and be there at the same time every day brute forces you into a friend group. Honestly I think a lot of offline friend groups are created through this repetition also, a bunch of people sharing the same interest on the same schedule often becomes a friend group of convenience. The thing with online is that you tend to get out of it what you put in, if you're invisible and lurk you don't gain recognisability in the group and don't tend to do stuff with other people as a result of being considered an active group member. This also kinda requires the group to actually be doing stuff too though, and some of them definitely don't.
All my online friends I have through Discord. Can't really help much beyond that, it's just kind of developed from regular contact over extended periods of time in shared spaces. Definitely helps when the space is a bit smaller though. The downside to it is that it can feel kinda fragile (at least in my experience). Like there have been a few moments (although fewer than you might think when we're all leftists lol) where a couple of my friends have gotten into a bad argument and one of them just leaves the sever, which at least for me makes it kind of hard to maintain things with them just because I'm not great one on one with people online.
Yeah...... I only date neurodivergent people anymore. The vast majority of allistics don't have a single clue when it comes to this stuff.
Society really does have ingrained hate for us.
And I definitely can’t blame the people who run away because I know they can’t help how they were raised 🥲 can’t expect everyone to deconstruct their upbringing I guess
You may not, but I still blame people a bit for not having the heart to ask and talk it out instead of just deciding that someone is scary or weird
Can always pinpoint the exact moment they figure it out. And it always sucks
:yea: :yea: :yea:
Making irl connections seems impossible sometimes. And every time I fail I'm just that much more discouraged from trying it again and being humiliated once more
Where tf are you all irl?
At work on our phones and/or at home on our computers*. Everyone is always mentioning this, so it doesn't seem like that much of a leap to assume we aren't in most social spaces except as labor input where we aren't free to act as we wish.
*There are occasional posters who talk about being homeless (and often have very informative writing!) but they are a tiny minority. I guess look for a young homeless person who might have a smartphone and you might find a hexbear user.
it feels like i'm posessed by the devil and they're terrified of me
Having relationships IRL is substantially harder than online. Even if the world weren't atomized, it still takes upkeep, attention, consideration of their feelings, communication, and vulnerability. Relationships develop and you might have irreconcilable differences and losing people hurts really fucking bad.
All this to say that you might not like me IRL. I'm not good at this shit. I'm just winging it. Some people are superficial assholes who don't know the first thing about anything and other people might perceive flaws and multiply them by 10,000 because they're afraid of having it be an annoyance in the long term. You can't know what they're thinking
I feel like I have that effect on people, but I also don't interact with enough new people to tell.
Smart move! I tend to ask people how they feel, but even with long term friends I ought to be more chill.
I keep scaring people away when I ask them to call me their little candy man.
I gave up trying an eternity ago. Sure it sucks but at least I’m not trying to market myself over and over again and getting brushed off every time. I actually enjoy not having to rehearse every conversation a million times in my head because the only ones I have anymore are zero-stakes.
