This isnt a crisis post btw, I have care scheduled very soon
I highly suspect i have BPD and i just want to know if it ever gets better or easier to live with? 4 days ago i felt stable and now I'm back to completely losing my mind and cant reel it back in
Not even sure whats real or not about my emotions at this point other than being trans
What specifically are you losing your mind about?
My previous therapist wasn't qualified to diagnose me but they and an ex with BPD both said I have some symptoms. Particularly splitting on people a lot and a completely lack of trust and security in my interpersonal relationships
I've adjusted to living with mine. I think I'm handling it better even though it hasn't actually gotten better. It sucks that I generally can't really form very deep or long connections and 99% of all friends ever only last 1-2 years. Thankfully I keep making new friends to cycle through
Dating healthily is impossible for me though I'm ngl
Some of the same stuff, struggling to form deep connections while craving a deeper emotional intimacy. Like i cant reciprocate almost. But currently i also developed a crush on someone super fast after one date and am spiraling out of control again. I guess i'm just afraid of being alone all my life
Everybody is scared of being alone. That's probably the most valid human emotion there is
The best support I know how to give is that I understand your struggle with spiraling out of control so much when it comes to a romantic relationship. You're not alone in this one
I've been seeing somebody recently and I am filled with the worst anxiety I've had for years until they respond to me. Then all of a sudden everything is perfectly fine for a few hours. I have 0 security and trust and I can already tell this is not gonna last very long because of me
I feel so seen rn
But also, unrelated to dating
cw: discussion of suicide
I got really drunk and couldnt handle my emotions and begged a very close friend of mine to take my life. Feels like im just a parasite on the people around me and their emotions. I'm like a happiness vampire
If they're a very close friend I'm sure you have lots to offer them that has made you two become that close
But definitely therapy in case they may get overwhelmed in the future. I've lost a few friends during a period where my then therapist was awful and unhelpful so I leaned on my friends too much
I hope so. They are a very kind person and very dear to me.
Yeah. Therapy is a major priority for me rn. Its been tough finding a therapist that takes my insurance and treats my issues and is close enough for me to get to regularly