Maybe this might work for you? If you feel like you're faking it, list every single other trans person out there who you also think is faking it. Chances are, you're the one and only trans person out there who your doubt in their authenticity. So congrats, you're the one and only fake trans person. You're on hormones wishing for a beautiful transition but actually you're just faking it unlike the REAL trans people. Now go out and scream from the rooftops "I'M THE WORLD'S ONLY FAKE TRANS PERSON"
Now of course the idea of you being the one and only fake trans person is so completely absurd that I can't honestly believe it, and I go back to thinking that yes, I'm trans. idk if that would work for you but it's worth a shot
Thanks! Cognitive techniques like this are really helpful.
Actually, I've had a lot of success with just dropping labels entirely. At the moment, I don't use the terms trans, woman, or man to describe myself.
Instead of thinking, I'm a woman, so please use she/her pronouns. I say, I like she/her pronouns so please use them. Instead of thinking, I'm trans so I should do voice training, I think, I would like a softer voice, so I want to do voice training.
In this way, there's no standard that I can fail to embody. Can't be a faker if there's nothing to fake
based. labels are cringe and i reflexively distrust anyone who likes them. i don't like using labels for myself either even when they completely fit because they're cringe
The "faking it" feeling was very much something i felt when i first learned i was trans. So much so that for the first couple of months i tried to supress any thoughts about being trans and just tried to be cis which just felt awful.
Honestly I sometimes feel normal and good 10+ years on and I suddenly begin to think I'm faking it now. Hilarious. I feel normal cause most of my shit is done
I had a bunch of really splendid thoughts when I was reading The Masker (yes again) (I am only a lil sorry) that I was able to engage with it in a much healthier fashion now that I have deleted binary gender from myself, and do not cling to it for validity, that was really unhealthy for me. I'd post about this more but The Masker is kinda cursed
I had a bunch of really splendid thoughts when I was reading The Masker
That's good!
The Masker is kinda cursed
Yeah, the subject matter seems raw. Back when I was Totally Cis (tm), I "came across" sissy porn, and even back then, I was like "wow, this is kind of fucked up and misogynistic."
The idea that being feminine is inherently sexual really fucked me up and kept me from transition for a long time because I was terrified at the idea that I was playing out a fetish. I'm over it now, but there are still echoes. This is why I will avoid the book lol.
Whenever I feel like I'm "faking it" I just think of all the hexbears who feel the same way, and then the feeling dissolves.
This place is powerful
Maybe this might work for you? If you feel like you're faking it, list every single other trans person out there who you also think is faking it. Chances are, you're the one and only trans person out there who your doubt in their authenticity. So congrats, you're the one and only fake trans person. You're on hormones wishing for a beautiful transition but actually you're just faking it unlike the REAL trans people. Now go out and scream from the rooftops "I'M THE WORLD'S ONLY FAKE TRANS PERSON"
Now of course the idea of you being the one and only fake trans person is so completely absurd that I can't honestly believe it, and I go back to thinking that yes, I'm trans. idk if that would work for you but it's worth a shot
Thanks! Cognitive techniques like this are really helpful.
Actually, I've had a lot of success with just dropping labels entirely. At the moment, I don't use the terms trans, woman, or man to describe myself.
Instead of thinking, I'm a woman, so please use she/her pronouns. I say, I like she/her pronouns so please use them. Instead of thinking, I'm trans so I should do voice training, I think, I would like a softer voice, so I want to do voice training.
In this way, there's no standard that I can fail to embody. Can't be a faker if there's nothing to fake
based. labels are cringe and i reflexively distrust anyone who likes them. i don't like using labels for myself either even when they completely fit because they're cringe
I'm with you, but I think we should be accommodating towards the people who do like them
For many, they couldn't even conceive of what they're going through until there's a word for. It can bring a feeling of safety and grounding.
The "faking it" feeling was very much something i felt when i first learned i was trans. So much so that for the first couple of months i tried to supress any thoughts about being trans and just tried to be cis which just felt awful.
Honestly I sometimes feel normal and good 10+ years on and I suddenly begin to think I'm faking it now. Hilarious. I feel normal cause most of my shit is done
It's normal to like you're faking it when nothing feels natural, I think. That changes over time (I'm sure)
Realizing I was not alone in what I saw as "strange" feelings helped me realize they weren't so strange.
Exactly. Queer lit has also been a game changer in this regard
Yeah, you've reached quantum levels of queer
utterly offtopic lol
I had a bunch of really splendid thoughts when I was reading The Masker (yes again) (I am only a lil sorry) that I was able to engage with it in a much healthier fashion now that I have deleted binary gender from myself, and do not cling to it for validity, that was really unhealthy for me. I'd post about this more but The Masker is kinda cursed
on topic
That's good!
Yeah, the subject matter seems raw. Back when I was Totally Cis (tm), I "came across" sissy porn, and even back then, I was like "wow, this is kind of fucked up and misogynistic."
The idea that being feminine is inherently sexual really fucked me up and kept me from transition for a long time because I was terrified at the idea that I was playing out a fetish. I'm over it now, but there are still echoes. This is why I will avoid the book lol.
waow!
Probably a good plan lol
"In Praise of the Weird Genders" was an alltime fucking banger
I was having a total mental breakdown at the time I posted that. Happy that something good came out of it!