Or at least make people forget about it faster, and that is the presidential sons debate first proposed on chapo. Hunter vs Don Jr and Eric, a no holds barred, no muting mics, all substances allowed cage match debate. 3 men enter, 1 man leaves to be crowned Biggest Presidential Son. It won't do anything about Joe's liquifying brain but it might make people forget, plus with Hunter's charisma he can only help his dad's campaign

  • GnastyGnuts [he/him]
    ·
    6 months ago

    Honestly he should just hang dong publicly. As in, he should just show his cock. Make it about cock. Goad Trump into showing his cock, maybe Biden's is bigger, and he could win entirely off of USA being fucking stupid.

    I'm only 1/16th joking.

  • Sasuke [comrade/them]
    ·
    6 months ago

    what if they did some kind of 'bring your adult son to work' thing for the second debate? and then hunter, with free access to the white house pharmacy, could try his hand at being biden's physician for a day

    • FALGSConaut [comrade/them]
      hexagon
      ·
      6 months ago

      The stage is set: it's the night of the second debate. Joe shuffles out to the podium, dark Brandon die hards are hoping this night will help him recover from the past week when Biden repeatedly referred to the prime minister of Israel as Yitzhak Rabin. Dems are ecstatic Joe manages the short walk with only one minor stumble. Trump struts out proving he's still capable of walking on his own. The debate opens with Biden barely stringing two coherent sentences together, he somehow blames covid and lack of stimulus checks on mexican immigrants which Trump runs with. Finally, the debate turns to our beautiful veterans. You can see Biden shaking with rage as Trump brags about the troops loving him and accuses Biden of doing nothing for veterans. Biden finally snaps and begins to say the only clear sentence the entire debate:

      "Listen here Jack! Beau served this country and gave his life for it, you never served, you dodged the draft!"

      He pulls a revolver from his suit and fires at point blank range. The recoil shatters every bone in his arm, the gun flies up into his face breaking his nose. He collapses, hitting his head on the podium killing him instantly.

      Trump stands alone on the stage, the bullet having missed him by a country mile. He says something about Biden's shooting being worse than his golf swing

      • SacredExcrement [any, comrade/them]
        ·
        edit-2
        6 months ago

        "And that's why we love American guns and patriots folks, because a real patriot using an...an American made gun would not have missed me by that much"

      • mayo_cider [he/him]
        ·
        6 months ago

        The gun would blow up in his face covering it in soot, then the ball would roll comically slowly out of the barrel a second later

    • D61 [any]
      ·
      6 months ago

      The one thing Joe could do to make me throw away my vote for him.

  • ElGosso [he/him]
    ·
    6 months ago

    Biden clearly never learned anything from Obama - if Trump is so evil, just declare him a terrorist and drone-strike him obama-drone

    • FALGSConaut [comrade/them]
      hexagon
      ·
      6 months ago

      That would be the funniest outcome so yes, I think so. Trump has to adopt Hunter and try to make him wear a suit to a baseball game. Hunter skips is to smoke crack and listen to Mumford and Sons with a woman he met at a gas station earlier that day

  • EnsignRedshirt [he/him]
    ·
    6 months ago

    The sons debate! That’s a deep cut. Get the UFC to do it as a PPV event, Joe Rogan could be the moderator.

      • EnsignRedshirt [he/him]
        ·
        6 months ago

        Biden, and it’s not close. He’s had brain surgery, multiple COVID infections, obvious age-related cognitive decline, has been getting dosed with performance enhancing drugs for the last few years to keep him from shitting his pants in front of a crowd of people, etc. His brain is Swiss cheese.

        Rogan doesn’t have any serious brain damage, he’s just a dumb guy who never had any reason to be smarter. If Biden had Rogan’s brain, he’d be doing fine. If Rogan had Biden’s brain, he wouldn’t even be able to do his podcast.

        • GrouchyGrouse [he/him]
          ·
          6 months ago

          Good point. I can hear it now. "Jamie pull up the uhh you know the uhh I uhh.."

          "The hairless chimp?"

          "No uhhh the uhh Dana said the uhh UFC uhh the..."

          "Let's just look at the hairless chimp, Joe."

          "My god my dad could drive a thing."

          "That's great, Joe."

          "That's a helluva monkey."

          "That's right, Joe."

          • EnsignRedshirt [he/him]
            ·
            6 months ago

            Biden-brain Rogan sitting across from Brendan Schaub while Jamie plays Cocomelon videos for them

  • HumanBehaviorByBjork [any, undecided]
    ·
    6 months ago

    biden-forgor "This is really it Neilia... I lost you... I lost Beau... now I'm gonna lose this election..."

    "Not so fast!"

    whywhywhywhywhy "Wha-!?"

    hunter "You haven't lost me, dad!"

    ["Lose Yourself" by Eminem plays as we begin a montage of training for The Sons Debate]

    • FALGSConaut [comrade/them]
      hexagon
      ·
      6 months ago

      The only question is if crack is Hunter's equivalent to training weights he wears to hide his true strength, or if crack is what grants him his powers

      • HumanBehaviorByBjork [any, undecided]
        ·
        edit-2
        6 months ago

        He's been clean for years, but at the climax of the movie he's in his car ('04 Camry with a rusted-out rear bumper) in the parking lot during a commercial break and he realizes the only way he can win and avenge his father's death (died in the last scene) is by hitting the pipe. He says "lord forgive me, but it's time to go back to tha old me" and pulls a glock and a plastic baggie out from underneath the passenger seat.

  • Droplet
    ·
    edit-2
    5 months ago

    deleted by creator

  • ProfessorOwl_PhD [any]
    ·
    6 months ago

    Now I desperately need hunter biden to win a debate by smoking crack and generally being declared a really nice guy