i've dated very little but my current partner is enby, and my ex (for complicated personal reasons) left her country to move with someone else, cut all contact with her family, and a few years back completely dropped off the internet as well and people who knew her before she left the country have not heard about her at all, the guy she was with says she's fine but basically avoids giving any current details about her. Not in like an ominous way I think, but in a way that makes me think he's trying to avoid bringing up the past and deadnaming.

Soooo given my track record, and what I remember of them, I think it's very likely I should no longer gender my ex in the feminine.