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aww yea sex trauma SA !!!
Haha, imagine having sexual urges... I don't think I really do, I'm pretty sure I just go with the libidinous flow, like sex is enjoyable now and then but I only have the most vague idea of what I want.
Um say so if this is too prying, but you mean that your desires have been influenced by your SA? That does sound really fuckin unpleasant
It's not pleasant to keep getting reminded of...
My brain has really firmly wiped out all memories after a certain point, like the last two years with my ex are just fucking gone. I remember other things, but "her and I" in those two years no longer exists. I don't even remember what it was like. So it's sort of a weird fog? But thanks, I'm glad traumadumping all over the mega is fine and good
One of the worst things about it is that despite it being a teenage relationship, my first, I did not learn anything useful from it, about myself or sex generally. I'm having to tiptoe through all this bs now... at least I can though ![trans-heart trans-heart](https://www.hexbear.net/pictrs/image/aec9b839-d11e-4611-9263-60a84384ac89.png)
more fun
So, I've heard this is pretty common for people with ADHD. I'm not sure, but I think you've mentioned being that?
Well, it's a matter of how I interpret the narrative of my life. I could connect the dots in a way where I can see a clear connection. But that's a choice on my part, I guess. I don't need to see it that way. And it's only some of my desires, not all. Still sucks tho.
This sucks (maybe). I don't have any experience with that, so I can't advise. I'm happy that you can work through these things safely now![cat-trans cat-trans](https://www.hexbear.net/pictrs/image/27c31b53-f2dc-45c4-b222-fb11bdcf9d91.png)
I am actually enjoying this chat fwiw
I think at least some adhd-like symptoms at this point. I also have the autism and the asexuality, but it's a really good cocktail. How does adhd factor in?
I see, understandable![meow-hug meow-hug](https://www.hexbear.net/pictrs/image/28d86083-caf1-46d9-b565-569425bb5451.png)
Part of me thinks the forgetting is bad and my brain shouldn't have, part of me is so fucking thankful it has and I think I got the gist of the experience without reliving all of it in Crystal Clear Full HD! and shit. But yeah my wife is rad y'know, wifegang![cat-trans cat-trans](https://www.hexbear.net/pictrs/image/27c31b53-f2dc-45c4-b222-fb11bdcf9d91.png)
yeah, it's good to air it out. I haven't talked about it before
I don't know about ADHD, so maybe someone else can chime in. I get this from my wife because she's researching symptoms because she thinks she has it.
Basically, ADHD may just keep you focused on different things rather than physical maintenance like eating, drinking, or sexing. So some people with ADHD describe sex like "oh, I forgot to do it" in the same way someone might "forget to eat" a meal that day. Idrk tho.
Yeah, there's really no really no reason to dig those memories up if you don't need to. My therapist calls that excavation work, and it's kind of an antiquated process that goes back to psychoanalysis. If your memories are causing you stress in the present, then you need to reconcile. If they aren't, then it's always best just to look forward.
Edit: wifegang![kris-love kris-love](https://hexbear.net/pictrs/image/4b1171c5-a292-446f-914a-146a060c0f59.gif)
there's a ton of co-morbidity with autism, I get hyperfocus and hyperfixations and will go hours holding in needing to pee for example, just simply not feel it.. because I'd be doing something else lol
Yeah, she thinks she might be autistic as well lol.
Gonna try to get a diagnosis soon, but it's really difficult to get diagnosed as an adult woman
Yeah we've both questioned ADHD for a few years but it's like there's so many overlapping things it's hard to tell.
Mhm I spent about 3 years researching it once we figured out I was autistic lol not hard to tell really but thankfully there's a lot of info and the reddit community was fairly decent surrounding it, lots of info out there too so at least you can get a fairly decent idea. Getting a diagnosis can suck, also one specialised for women can be hard to find too so I wish you both the best on that.
nice =)
Oh huh, banger tbh. I thought therapists would be pro pulling everything up and sorting it out, but I guess as long as a buried memory is not the unknown cause of suffering right? That fucks honestly.
therapy
Haha, yeah, my therapist has been good, especially these last few years.
When I first started seeing her about anxiety, I was gonna hop into my childhood and she was like "nah" lol. She basically said that the origins of these issues aren't necessarily the causes. The cause of our pain is how we think about things now, and we have control over that.
She was also cool about my gender stuff and was like "that's awesome. Keep doing that." When the topic of being trans came up, she was like "idk, but keep exploring that if it makes you happy."
We also talk about sex and for some reason it came up that she pegs her husband lmao*
(Laughing that the topic came up during therapy. Not laughing about pegging. Pegging is based)
therapy ii