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saving space idk
That’s the “one” thing about all the anxieties I found I didn’t have on my recent mental health journey/hyperfixation. I’m anxious, but I’ll walk aimlessly or do whatever if the impulses are right, and assume I’ll be fine eventually. I do a lot of shit that would worry a neurotypical.
I suppose it’s an extra background stimulus while I think and do multiple other things. That’s probably the best way to go about it. I rarely do, but I guess rather than simply looking for beauty in everyone and not liking when I don’t find it (lmao), I could just recognize more that perfection isn’t real, and if people can live with themselves (although some probably have self hate) that’s ok and I should just be happy I look better than them (real narcissist hours, lol). It’s probably not best to dwell on one’s own subjective superiority, but…
I’m also always figuring out how I can be better, trying not lean into dissatisfaction either. It’s ok, it’s a dialectic.
spoiler
Yeah almost everyone has something about them they don't like, perfection is a concept sold as normative beauty standards so that people keep buying into beauty products and processes. I never really got the "at least I look better than them" thought, I kind of hate punching-down thought like that. Not a competition, really.
Honestly my biggest takeaway from people-watching is that dimorphism in humans is not that pronounced and you could very feasibly shoot estrogen into a lot of guys and get good results
Fair enough, I’m kind of on the positive end of insanity right now and I couldn’t stop admiring my looks last night, so… Societal standards of “perfection” are stupid. Meanwhile, by my own standards I’m like 90% perfect, just working out the kinks, can always get better. Intellectually I don’t really believe in my superiority, but it’s an interesting thing to get over. Especially, when my ego isn’t fragile like many “big” ones. If I can’t do something, that’s really fine with me, but if I care to try I’ll try. I’m trying to learn metta. I know psychedelics are supposed to help kill your ego, but I feel like I just had all my realizations for now in my natural high.