Like something that's not being brought up here is: it's easier to pass in cisciety than to be stealth in a queer meetup. So are the cis men and women in your LGBT group being they/them'd and asked their pronouns, or is that being subconsciously reserved for the transgender men and women who get clocked? I think both sides of this debate are assuming different fundamentals here.
and then they want brownie points for being allies. Either do these intro things consistently or have the courtesy to tremble before a trans person when you ask them
or is that being subconsciously reserved for the transgender men and women who get clocked
this is my overwhelming experience with any group that doesnt have trans leadership. It reached the point where some cis woman turned to me and my partner, looked at us for half a second and said "we should do introductions, with pronouns". Mind you, I had shaken hands with everybody about two hours ago.
The consequence from this obv isnt that passology is good, lol. This whole thing sounds super heated to me and people seem to extrapolate the other side having the worst possible assumptions and beliefs from every statement to score cheap dunks and feel good.
This is exactly it. Like, I have a good friend who gets gendered correctly pretty regularly in cishet spaces but just gets misgendered/degendered constantly in queer spaces. It's getting harder for me to get her to hang out with my in queer spaces as a result. Her presentation is not queer
I stopped going to a queer meetup where I used to live because I was constantly they/them’d despite everyone knowing I only used she/her. When I brought this up with the group, a couple of them told me, “nobody can be misgendered by neutral pronouns”
Like something that's not being brought up here is: it's easier to pass in cisciety than to be stealth in a queer meetup. So are the cis men and women in your LGBT group being they/them'd and asked their pronouns, or is that being subconsciously reserved for the transgender men and women who get clocked? I think both sides of this debate are assuming different fundamentals here.
People think I'm a cishet ally too much it drives me nuts. Why are my vibes so fucked
But I've also had the situation where the cissies pronoun circle so the removed (me) would spill the beans
and then they want brownie points for being allies. Either do these intro things consistently or have the courtesy to tremble before a trans person when you ask them
this is my overwhelming experience with any group that doesnt have trans leadership. It reached the point where some cis woman turned to me and my partner, looked at us for half a second and said "we should do introductions, with pronouns". Mind you, I had shaken hands with everybody about two hours ago.
The consequence from this obv isnt that passology is good, lol. This whole thing sounds super heated to me and people seem to extrapolate the other side having the worst possible assumptions and beliefs from every statement to score cheap dunks and feel good.
This is exactly it. Like, I have a good friend who gets gendered correctly pretty regularly in cishet spaces but just gets misgendered/degendered constantly in queer spaces. It's getting harder for me to get her to hang out with my in queer spaces as a result. Her presentation is not queer
I stopped going to a queer meetup where I used to live because I was constantly they/them’d despite everyone knowing I only used she/her. When I brought this up with the group, a couple of them told me, “nobody can be misgendered by neutral pronouns”
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