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  • WalrusDragonOnABike [they/them]@lemmy.today
    ·
    4 months ago

    I think I'm going to finally change my pronouns to they/them on discord though. Still not what I want but a lot less drastic then she/her, yaknow?

    What is the normies opinion on they/them? Like, do they consider NBs more drastic or less drastic than just binary trans? At the very least, my mom seems to be more NBphobic than binary-transphobic.

    I feel like the feeling of "they/them is less drastic" might just be inside out own heads as it helps some of us open up to a side of ourselves we previously denied, but I have no clue.

    Guess my point is, if you are going to do it at all, you should go with what you actually want, so you don't have to go through the whole process again later and I'm not sure it has the benefit you think it does.

    Only tangentially related, but I'm also curious how cissies see "All" pronouns.

    • 🎀 Seryph (She/Her)@lemmygrad.ml
      ·
      4 months ago

      Worth noting that 90% of people on discord just never check a person's pronouns so there's a high chance none of her friends will even notice, so switching to they/them isn't really the same as coming out is. But otherwise I agree, switching to they is more drastic to most cissies, and on the off chance someone does notice and starts to think of her as NB rather than questioning it can kinda suck to have to explain later (First year of uni I used He/She to see how people would gender me and test how trans friendly the place was, one of my friends genuinely thought I was NB instead of "questioning" and asked later about it, kinda sucks to implicitly misgender yourself that way)

      Only tangentially related, but I’m also curious how cissies see “All” pronouns.

      They use your AGAB unless they're queer in which case they use they. This includes a lot of trans people. I think my best friend and I are the only people I know irl who deliberately vary pronouns, and in my friend's case it's because they use all and would rather you cycle her pronouns than stick to one, although he prefers 'they' overall.

      • WalrusDragonOnABike [they/them]@lemmy.today
        ·
        4 months ago

        They use your AGAB unless they’re queer in which case they use they. This includes a lot of trans people. I think my best friend and I are the only people I know irl who deliberately vary pronouns, and in my friend’s case it’s because they use all and would rather you cycle her pronouns than stick to one, although he prefers ‘they’ overall.

        I guess my question is do people assume you just don't care about pronouns, but are still probably cis or assume you're some flavor of gender queer, but not sure which?