ive been doing trauma release exercises and meditation recently and theyve brought up so much shit that ive been repressing. like i think i finally unlocked lesbian yearning and holy fuck i can barely handle it!! ive never felt this full body loneliness before, its almost incapacitating. and ive also started to grieve the fact that i’ll never be a mother unless a lot of shit (physical health, finances, mental health) gets magically better over the next few years and it just sucks. it sucks a lot lol