I remember thinking before I transitioned, before my egg cracked, having that background feeling that "hey, maybe I'm just really dumb and they're all just accommodating me, maybe this is all some elaborate scheme to placate me and think I'm doing okay or even well."

Learning to accept compliments is not easy when you feel you're worthless. You should have been taught that you are worthy of love and you deserve to be treated like a respected human being. Self-love doesn't come easy if you've been through a lot - including being closeted trans. It's possible. You might need some therapy to work through it. If you want, you can try what my therapist suggested. Every time you have a bad thought or self-degrading though, you have to say or think 3 positive ones. Some could be resilience and inner strength, kindnss/compassion, intelligence, hard worker/disciplined, empathy, adventurousness/openness, etc. It's easier when you can think of a few on your own, whatever you vibe with. Chances are you are pretty resilient compared to the average person, comes with the territory but you have to feel it and it's easier when you come up with them yourself ahead of time.