alright gang, we need another win over the news mega this week! keep those numbers up and keep being trans as hell cat-trans meow-knife-trans cat-trans

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  • iridaniotter [she/her, she/her]
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    edit-2
    5 months ago

    Oh yeah, I've started a diary w/ photos to help. Forgetting what it feels like to be a given state in a different state sounds right but I need a bit more observational data I think. I don't think I'm schizotypal (edit: wait I think I might have misunderstood you), but I do think you're on the right track and it's more than just fluid gender that's causing this distress.

    • QueerCommie [she/her, fae/faer]
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      5 months ago

      Are you like this with other things? I’m a quite contradictory person prone to internal debate, but fortunately it’s more about how to transition than what gender I feel like, idk.

      • iridaniotter [she/her, she/her]
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        edit-2
        5 months ago

        Well, my demeanor and manner of speech/typing can be all over the place. Sometimes I'm good at not saying things, and other times they slip out (no alcohol involved) and I'll be like damn why did I say that (sometimes it'll take a day or week or longer). So I guess you could say I have mood swings. I'll also have pretty long periods of time where I might be dissociating. I'm not sure. I used to think I was just tired but after having a really bad dissociative episode two Thursdays ago I now realize I might have gotten that wrong... Sometimes I can get really passionate about something and then lose all interest in it and then sometimes regain interest. Um that might be an autism thing though. Or maybe not, cause special interests are supposed to be a bit more long term... My political interests are pretty stable and evolve at a pretty natural rate, I think. The books, movies, shows, etc. that I like are pretty stable. shrug-outta-hecks I don't know what the baseline is for any of this shit. I tried to ask my therapist what normal memory is like and she dodged the question.

        • QueerCommie [she/her, fae/faer]
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          edit-2
          5 months ago

          That’s all insanely relatable (though my dissociation is mild as far as I can tell). I’m not going to even bother going down the message because I could’ve written most of it. I don’t want to diagnose you across the internet but I personally ascribe “it” mostly to ADHD, but maybe cyclothymia.

          Edit: I avoid being forgetful by anxiously thinking the same things over and over again until I can get them out or down on paper or done. There’s only so much I can do this for tho, so I’m still somewhat forgetful.

          • iridaniotter [she/her, she/her]
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            5 months ago

            Well, it's nice to have someone who can relate to some of my issues. I really don't think I have ADHD. Cyclothymia is possible. Never heard of it before, but it makes way more sense than ADHD at least.

            • QueerCommie [she/her, fae/faer]
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              5 months ago

              That’s interesting. Now you’re making me rethink if I have adhd again lol (probably do?). Anyway, we have a lot in common, just not sure the common denominator besides posting in the trans mega thread.

              • iridaniotter [she/her, she/her]
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                5 months ago

                Oh I've only told you a fraction about myself - a fraction that we share a lot in common with. There are a whole host of reasons I don't think I have ADHD, so don't doubt yourself just because of this!

                • QueerCommie [she/her, fae/faer]
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                  edit-2
                  5 months ago

                  I know I know. I’m withholding an over explanation. I fought doubts I had ADHD this morning, I probably do, I just debate myself. I noticed more implied differences from what you said.