My morning routine:

-Wake up

-Take a massive shit

-Eat a big breakfast

-Get out of bed

-Get showered and dressed

-Go to work

no, first I snuggle the dogs and then let them out so they can piss

then it's my turn

i take two piss in the morning
i take two piss at night
I take two piss in the afternoon
It makes me feel alright

I take two piss in times of peace
And two in times of war
I take two piss before i take two piss
And then i take two more

Used too. Now I get out of bed first. Not having to change my sheets every morning turned out to be a real time saver tbh.

This post has really moved me, I will be going on a 24 hour piss fast.

no i curse the fates for letting me wake up again dummy

then I piss

That's my secret Cap. I'm always pissing.

You're wrong!

I fart first.

-piss
-wake up
-piss again

no i actually shit

first thing i do is piss. then i wake up and piss. then i get dressed and piss. then i eat breakfast and piss. then i go to work and piss.

fucking piss addicts

For a second there, I thought you found out about my urine drinking habits

Phew...

Just before I wake up, I dream about increasingly absurdly located toilets and discover they are clogged.

No, I drink coffee and then piss, very close tho.

i normally smoke a spliff in bed then piss but okay