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What kind of waistband is it? Is it elastic?
Elastic yeah :)
You can tighten elastic waistbands by seamripping the waistband open, cutting the elastic inside so that it fits you, and then sewing the waistband back up. Kind of like this. Handsewing works perfectly well for this. I tightened a pair of pants with an elastic waistband and honestly it doesn't look perfect, but I'm okay with that because I doubt anyone is inspecting waistbands when they meet people.
oof I dunno if I want something that permanent... Will keep in my pocket in case anything is absurdly oversized tho.
Very fair. Safety pins are always there for these situations