[To the tune of La Cucaracha]

|:You are so stinky
You are so farty
Stinky poopy farty dog:|

To the tune of the first level song in Mario World:

Bailey's the cutest pup, the cutest pup is bailey, bailey's the cutest pup, the cutest of them all

Kisses and snuggles and kisses and snuggles, kisses and snuggles and kisses and snugs!

Repeat ad nauseum until I stop making her dance and put her down

I do not sing. I am more of an interviewer. I try to create an environment and ask questions most likely to get my dog to take a crap.

Are you- would you like- have you considered maybe? Taking a crap? Your favorite spot to take a crap is over here -- why is that? crinkling dog crap bag Does this make you think of anything? crinkling bag What is this sound?

I'm basically a more prolific Weird Al but only do song parodies about my cat

I do, and two of them sing back. It's usually just whatever song is currently stuck in my head with all of the lyrics replaced with variations of <cat's name>. One of them has a meow that sounds like he's saying his own name, so sometimes it works out as a duet.

All the godsdamned time. I get made fun of by my wives for singing to all our pets. Each one has a unique song I came up with in the moment for them. I get told that they know when I’m in the bathroom cause I’m singing to all three of them as they harass me when I’m peeing.

I work in references to my cat's fur color because I had an orange cat and combining words to make orange rhymes was so fucking funny to me.

"You are such a small orange I got you from the storange (I did not, her mom got knocked up)"

to the sccoby doo theme:

Rena, Rena roo

in the worlds

she’s a stinky girl

Rena, Rena roo

a puppy girl

she smells like dookie