Don't worry, that's what lying on your resume is for!
All your work experience is now doubled and even after you're laid off you'll still put down that you're employed so that your new employer thinks they're stealing away excellent labor from their competition.
Don't forget to add an extra major to your degree, (And if you don't have one, add it anyways! Bonus points if you pick a school that's currently closed down.), in some business bullshit that even a monkey with a typewriter could do.
Look up your real name on linkedin and see if anyone in your country with the same name as you has "accomplishments" you want. Steal those for your resume. Steal their references while you're at it too!
Odds are your unemployment checks are going to suck ass, (and if you're an independent contractor it'll be even worse), so as the capitalists say you're going to need a shiver side gig while your job hunt eats up months of your life.
Time to learn how to use photo editing apps, because you're about to transform into the hot new anime girl on Onlyfans so that you can survive in our pandemic hellscape!
It's important that you distort your original appearance so much that no one would ever be able to recognize you in real life. Anime girl shops are perfect for this!
Modify your body so hard that even Barbie would call you fake. And remember, when it comes to the chest area either go big or go flat! If you're doing video clips be sure to sound as young as possible and use a voice modifier in post if needed.
The only downside is that you'd be screwed if you wanted to do actual porn.
I dropped out of college like ~3 years ago and yet I still have the bullshit BS in Business Administration I was pursuing at the very top of my resume. Not one employer has asked me to verify actually having the degree, and my current employer was shocked when I asked about tuition assistance because "didn't you graduate a few years ago??" lmao
Haha well, to be fair, it's a very vague:
August 2014 - Present
So since we're rolling on six years, I guess people just assume "oh he just failed to update his resume" rather than "oh he dropped out and has been in and out for the past 3 years" lmao
Don't worry, that's what lying on your resume is for!
All your work experience is now doubled and even after you're laid off you'll still put down that you're employed so that your new employer thinks they're stealing away excellent labor from their competition.
Don't forget to add an extra major to your degree, (And if you don't have one, add it anyways! Bonus points if you pick a school that's currently closed down.), in some business bullshit that even a monkey with a typewriter could do.
Look up your real name on linkedin and see if anyone in your country with the same name as you has "accomplishments" you want. Steal those for your resume. Steal their references while you're at it too!
All in a day's work for the average bullshitter.
lying on my resume to make it look like I'm good at sucking dick
"5 Years Experience Performing In-Depth Examinations"
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Remove dates from resume and write years of experience.
The bots hr departments use filter out people who are unemployed.
No one actually gives a fuck about the dates on the resume and more about do you seem like you will work good.
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Tbh, I'd just have started an OnlyFans and focused a bit more on my Pornhub, shilling for the former...
Odds are your unemployment checks are going to suck ass, (and if you're an independent contractor it'll be even worse), so as the capitalists say you're going to need a shiver side gig while your job hunt eats up months of your life.
Time to learn how to use photo editing apps, because you're about to transform into the hot new anime girl on Onlyfans so that you can survive in our pandemic hellscape!
It's important that you distort your original appearance so much that no one would ever be able to recognize you in real life. Anime girl shops are perfect for this!
Modify your body so hard that even Barbie would call you fake. And remember, when it comes to the chest area either go big or go flat! If you're doing video clips be sure to sound as young as possible and use a voice modifier in post if needed.
The only downside is that you'd be screwed if you wanted to do actual porn.
I mean I already have the same handle on PH, since it makes me feel pretty
I dropped out of college like ~3 years ago and yet I still have the bullshit BS in Business Administration I was pursuing at the very top of my resume. Not one employer has asked me to verify actually having the degree, and my current employer was shocked when I asked about tuition assistance because "didn't you graduate a few years ago??" lmao
deleted by creator
Haha well, to be fair, it's a very vague: August 2014 - Present
So since we're rolling on six years, I guess people just assume "oh he just failed to update his resume" rather than "oh he dropped out and has been in and out for the past 3 years" lmao
deleted by creator