I am a lazy failure who can't do anything. Basic shit I consistently just... don't do. Its embarrassing. I don't even want to list all of it. I have hobby stuff I've wanted to for years that I've just never gotten set up. Homework? More like I'm not fucking doing that. I've been wanting to take steps for months to get myself on hormones and get clothes but have I done them? No? Of course not, because I'm fucking lazy. All I do is rot. Its been this way for a long time, I can't even remember when the last time I didn't struggle with this. And it doesn't feel like its getting better. If it really is my autism I'm not sure how it ever can get better.

    • BountifulEggnog [she/her]
      ·
      2 months ago

      I'm not sure. There are some signs, idk. My dad has it but he acts differently? I've thought about looking more into it but it feels like an excuse...

      I definitely have autism though.

      • fanbois [he/him]
        ·
        2 months ago

        Here is a way to rethink the word lazy:

        Lazy is if you can enjoy inaction: It is Sunday, I wanted to clean up my basement and work out. The sun is shining and a friend wants to hang out by the lake. I agree and we spent half the day loafing around, drinking beer by the lake. I was lazy and that's alright because I had a good day. Maybe I feel a mild sense of guilt but so what. I know I will get around to it another day and no real harm was done.

        Lazy is not: I want to get up but can't. I want to clean my room, but don't know where to start so I don't. I want to do my work but can't. I want to do things for myself that I know will be good for me, but yet I still have only moved from bed to couch and back. For days, weeks, months. Years?

        If your chronic inaction creates suffering and regret, you are not lazy. Your brain fails at providing you with a baseline of motivation, often stemming from both a chemical imbalance and long term acquired behavioural patterns.

        ADHD is a very typical reason, depression another one. Sometimes one masks the other and autism correlates so strongly with ADHD, that people have coined the term AuDHD.

        Please be kind to yourself and if you can, seek help from a psychiatrist or other mental health provider.

        • BountifulEggnog [she/her]
          ·
          2 months ago

          If your chronic inaction creates suffering and regret, you are not lazy.

          Thank you kitty-cri So much suffering and regret.

          I will look into adhd. I'll try to be kind to myself, it is difficult.

          • fanbois [he/him]
            ·
            2 months ago

            meow-hug

            Edit: also this forum isn't the worst place to start. User ReadFanon has written great posts and comments about ADHD and AuDHD, which I found very helpful.

      • whogivesashit@lemmygrad.ml
        ·
        2 months ago

        I've seen some different takes out there that basically say that ADHD is essentially in the diagnostic criteria for autism. I'm not a doctor, but the takes I heard from were doctors.

        I have ADHD and this basically sounds like myself. Not much to lose by trying a medication.

        I literally cried the first several times I took my medicine, cause it opened up a whole new world for what I was capable of willing myself to do.

        • FourteenEyes [he/him]
          ·
          2 months ago

          Was pretty tired and distracted when I made the post. Didn't notice the pronouns. Usually default to they and them when I'm not sure given the nearly thousand years of us doing that in English

          • magi [null/void]
            ·
            2 months ago

            Regardless if you're tired or not the pronouns are there to stop misgendering . In this case they/them was innapropiate as she/her is stated right there.

              • magi [null/void]
                ·
                2 months ago

                As you should have, but if you can take the time to post a link you can certainly check a pronoun to correct yourself there too