• UmbraVivi [he/him, she/her]
    ·
    2 months ago

    Every attractive woman female is legally required to have an OnlyFans but also having an OnlyFans is illegal

  • Gosplan14_the_Third [none/use name]
    ·
    2 months ago

    Libertarian Party of Gameria (Libertarianism) - 27%

    National Party of the Gamer Nation (Fascism) - 25%

    Neoliberal Party (Liberalism) - 20%

    Conservative Party against Wokeness (Fascism) - 13%

    Incel Revolution Party (Anarcho-Capitalism) - 12%

    Map Gamers' Communist Party (Social Democracy) - 3%

    Government Coalition: LPG + NPGN

    • UlyssesT [he/him]
      ·
      2 months ago

      That was the one major post-Ocarina game I actually really liked, and only got disappointed about once The Prophecy(tm) took away the cool pirate girl as the boring story beat recycling machine started going brrr again. brrrrrrrrrrrr lonk

  • kristina [she/her]
    ·
    edit-2
    2 months ago

    andrew yang as president, elon musk as vp. official country name: confederate states of america. no parties, they transcended that

  • vegeta1 [none/use name]
    ·
    edit-2
    2 months ago

    Work for citizens would be a nightmare. Don't like the dangerous conditions of your workplace? Git Gud. Work hours too long? Crunch time son. Reducing your pay to the point where wage is non existent you're just working for rent for your landlord and nothing else? Thats just grinding. You also have to pay for your own safety equipment hell aircons and healthcare are probably hidden behind a paywall. There will be a lot of farming.... Like in gaming but..... Yeah Also you don't really own much not really. The product you are buying becomes shittier with each patch. You know..... This sounds too familiar sadness-abysmal

    • UlyssesT [he/him]
      ·
      2 months ago

      "You will be ganked, griefed, and pvp looted, and you will be happy. Git gud." capitalist-laugh

      • vegeta1 [none/use name]
        ·
        2 months ago

        If you ain't playing life on hard mode you're disregarding Miyazaki's vision walter-breakdown

  • Alaskaball [comrade/them]
    ·
    edit-2
    2 months ago

    It wouldn't be a republic, it'd be like a complete mockery of the roman empire where it's got none of the historic achievements, developments, or basic functioning civic society, infrastructure, or bureaucracy to maintain it, but be everything bad about it cranked up to 11. And whichever poor gamer becomes emperor is gonna get assassinated in the most embarrassing and accidental methods by everyone around him ankle biting their way to the crown in an endless crab bucket session. Bread and games will be replaced with doritos and league. The water pipes will be made out of lead, which funny enough is probably the only thing that they get exactly right in their recreation of the roman empire, but will pipe an acidic poisonous cocktail of mountain dew, G-fuel, and guacamole gamerfart 9000. The Patrician caste will be made up of streamers and the plebian caste will be made up of wanna-be streamers, and the slave cast will be a mixture of people who become parents because the empire is ran by adult children and 3rd world serfs wearing metal parts and aluminum foil being forced to say robot things like they're musks robots. It would be ready player one without any of the virtual world computer bullshit crossed over with idiocracy but somehow the citizens of 'the republic of gamers' make the people of idiocracy come off as reasonable people in comparison. All politics is banned because we don't want politics in out videogames but we'll be completely myopic to the usual shit we whine about when given a shiny enough toy like the hit TTRPG turned into a vidiyagaem Heimdallr Bridge 69 or hit rougue-laek oubliette-crawler Ploútōn with it's soon-to-be-released sequal Ploútōn 2. If you do include politics in your videogames we will shit outselves trying to cancel you for exposing us to eldritch Lovecraftian concepts beyond our grasp, like women and feelings! Also we have several political factions, ignore the part where we said all politics is banned, where we are constantly at internal war against ourselves. These factions range from capital G gamer sweatlords, casuals, weebs, Vtubers, furries, MLP stans, people who enjoy LARPing WW2 a bit too much, facebook gamers, phone gamers, and gamers who deny the fact they're gamers and swear a blood oath to dunk on gamers for being gamers despite being gamers themselves. Generally speaking, everyone other than the sweatlords and those WW2 larpers who seem to enjoy being the bad guys a bit too much, actually don't do any internal warring or anything but tend to keep to themselves, but because I am a sweatlord who enjoys WW2 Larping, I like making sure they all feel included in our conflicts whether they really want to or not.

    Well time for another round of gaming. See you on Battlefield, Gamer!

    The actual game Battlefield btw, I'ma send you a Vapour invite so we can smurf some plebs on Shiver Stream Live

    • UlyssesT [he/him]
      ·
      2 months ago

      This is almost black-mold-futures tier effortposting and I love it. order-of-lenin

    • Bobson_Dugnutt [he/him]
      ·
      2 months ago

      My eyes glazed over and I had a Lovecraftian vision of Hell before I was halfway done reading this. You've written high-tier cosmic horror. I might've soiled myself.

  • newmou [he/him]
    ·
    2 months ago

    There would be mandatory microtransactions and they would STILL refuse to say capitalism is a problem

  • UlyssesT [he/him]
    ·
    edit-2
    2 months ago

    One of the founding documents of the "Republic of Gamers," predating its charter but enshrined in Mountain Dew and Doritos Present Republic of Gamers Hall of History and K/D Ratio Excellence Prepare To Die Edition and Knuckles, would be this:

    "The Red Pill is 120 thousand fit college educated middle class men. If we really wanted to we could invade New Zealand and install a new government. We definitely have the manpower. There are plenty of veterans here. Plus everyone here knows where the magazine release is on an M16, from years of playing Call Of Duty.

    Realistically the Red Pill Reaction Force would be far more effective than half the world's militaries. The Afghan military is fucked up on opium. The Iraqi army cant even do jumping jacks. . Plus New Zealand has only 8 thousand military personnel the majority of whom are useless paper pushers.

    I don't actually support the violent overthrow of New Zealand. I just think its kind of a fun idea conceptualy."

  • dannoffs [he/him]
    ·
    2 months ago

    It already exists:

    https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Politics_of_South_Korea

  • Redcuban1959 [any]
    ·
    2 months ago

    Video Kojimba as the President. Presidents get elect by how high their scores are in Battle Painters.

      • Redcuban1959 [any]
        ·
        2 months ago

        Then VP Hidetaka Miyazaki will take over and turn the country into the Dark Souls of Countries.

  • GrouchyGrouse [he/him]
    ·
    2 months ago

    The big issue would be whether age of consent laws apply to video game characters

  • FunkyStuff [he/him]
    ·
    2 months ago

    Capital G gamers? It'd be Ukraine or Israel.

    Based gamers? They'd +2 whoever did the better conservative Yoda impression.

  • DavidGarcia@feddit.nl
    ·
    2 months ago

    knowing the average gamer probably the Big Tiddy Party vs the Huge Ass Party and 99% of political discourse is around advocating for more cleavage

    • UlyssesT [he/him]
      ·
      2 months ago

      There'd be a powerful third faction that doesn't like curves at all... for specific reasons. libertarian-alert