her,,, expolde

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  • Thallo [she/her]
    ·
    4 months ago
    hot takes

    I believe him. There are lots of different experiences people have in life related to their gender. Trans people spend years or decades grappling with their gender, I don't think it's impossible that sometimes, less commonly, it will happen to a cis person, too. I mean, "becoming a man" has always been a major genre of fiction, so cis people must be thinking about it to some extent.

    I think if you ask a room full of trans people, they'll all say it's repression. One huge trans fear is being "secretly actually cis" and they're just "delusional." So saying other people are repressing makes them feel more comfortable in their choice.

    fantasizing about a a hypothetical different version of myself that was happy

    Tbh, when I was early on in seriously gender questioning, this is how I was. I had a really bad relationship with gender and femininity. I was doing a lot of fantasizing and wish fulfillment. I was coming at it from an angle of fixing something. I would pretty much exclusively experience gender dysphoria when my general anxiety disorder was acting up. When my anxiety calmed, I would question why I ever felt that way to begin with and would have very little interest in being feminine anymore. My anxiety was just latching onto something to fix and make myself feel better. Just so happens gender was my target. It wasn't always, though. Before that, it was my health I obsessed about. So the fact that my anxiety awoke dysphoria didn't mean I was trans any more than being anxious of my health was proof that I was sick.

    Similar to this guy, I had to come to the conclusion that I am happy with myself in my body the way I am. When I felt safe and loving toward myself, the feelings of dysphoria dissipated.

    Now, I'm different because this feeling of safety and security led me to want to pursue NB transition because I WANT to, not because I feel like I NEED to or like there is something inherently NB in my blood that I can't deny.

    But, if things were slightly different, I could see myself being like this guy. Going back to being a man wouldn't kill me or anything. Then again, I was never afraid of male expectations (I think they're super easy tbh).