her,,, expolde

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  • rtstragedy [fae/faer, she/her]
    ·
    2 months ago
    spoiler

    It's more like uh, I dunno, I post weird things and nobody replies sometimes "I showed you [whatever weird book screed] please reply"

    tbh this is kinda why i didn't post online until recently, feels bad to work hard on post to try to start a conversation and have just no one respond.

    you can always @ me and i will do my best :)

    Oh god Xenoblade, is it Xenoblade 2 time???

    hmmmmm i am not sure i have a full post in my head about it unless i replay it again ... on emulator ... and somehow disable the dynamic resolution stuff. i like environments in games, XC2 especially, Gormott is one of the best video game places, and Uraya (also the OST for the game is SO GOOD its one of the few physical CD sets I own). I would probably want to boot it up and grab screenshots ... aside, I booted up the Riven remake in VR today and just kinda sat on edge of the transit platform and stared at the ocean for a life half an hour lol. good stuff, too bad the game runs really poorly. maybe i'll write up a post on that game tomorrow.

    oh man, i could write posts about so many games, other things i like, etc, damnit i'm gonna do it, i'm gonna post!! even if no one replies!! maybe book reviews too...

    Listen right, I think you're cool but I somehow doubt there is ANYBODY above you in your weird tech job who is not fucking slime honestly. With respect, it does not look to be getting better and planning ahead for a new job sounds very good...

    True, my boss is a lib, and his boss is the CTO, and is generally very easygoing-seeming. They really like me I think, buuuutttt some of the things they've said in meetings, and some of the decisions are not great... plus maybe i can code again if i go somewhere else? hmm............ well, I have savings at least, so even if i walked out tomorrow i'd be good for a few months, so I'm at least prepared. wish i could just take a month off tbh, that'd probably change everything lol

    I'll think on it, maybe talk to a recruiter sometime soon (god last I talked to someone a lot of jobs wanted people in the office some/all of the time). I think a night like tonight is not something I want to experience again, that dread, which would become regular, usually preceded completely losing a job in the past, either by quitting, or doing so bad I get fired. So I agree, I should do something so I feel less trapped.

    • ashinadash [she/her]
      ·
      2 months ago
      spoiler

      powercry-1 I would NEVER post something big and efforty and get no replies!!! Could not be me...

      lets-fucking-go AW FUCK YEAH FUCK YEAH, I am so excited to read your game and book posts. Even just from this snippet I bet they'll be good. I will prolly reply tbh.

      Taking a month off would slap, you not have enough pto for that? But yeeeeeeah fuckin libs, every time. I hope whatever you do is good for you and breaks this cycle of dread for you. I beleaf in you.

      • rtstragedy [fae/faer, she/her]
        ·
        edit-2
        2 months ago
        spoiler

        Taking a month off would slap, you not have enough pto for that?

        I would if it were the beginning of the year, but I've been steadily taking the 4 weeks so far, just had a week off week before last, and I took my actual birthday day off this week, so that's at least nice. Could do it next year ... hmm. Also holidays are coming up too, 2 weeks is nice.

        I wonder if they'd be amenable to an unpaid month off for me... I bet they'd prefer that to me quitting lol

        I hope whatever you do is good for you and breaks this cycle of dread for you. I beleaf in you.

        There was a time where I thought a full-time job was impossible for me, so this is already a huge improvement. Usually I remind myself that all I need to do is show up. I don't need to be in perfect form, or even right on time, I just need to be present. That's what they want. Everything is easier if I can make it that far. And I don't need to be perfect in every way, or even competent in every way.

        Maybe I'll sneak in a draft of a post in the morning then. I should take screenshots, maybe over lunch... I gotta figure out how to get a book into VR so that i can read in Riven (although canonically this is a really stupid idea the world is breaking apart and you probably have very little time to do <plot>, it's got those vibes). alas, the tech isn't there yet sicko-wistful