Remember to follow the Traaa com rules or else you are liable for any action that mods deem necessary
IMPORTANT SITE REMINDERS ARE LISTED AFTER THIS RANT (so please read all of it in order to find the rules >:3)
On this mega I shall take the opportunity to rant about one of my favorite things: the Webnovel UNJUST DEPTHS!
Do you love transgenders?
Do you love communism?
Do you love queer romance?
Do you love killing fascists in a giant fucking mech?
Would a plotline with all of these things happening in a underwater retro-futuristic gundam setting intrigue you?
Especially if its actually really well written with good characters, rich worldbuilding, and a marxist leninist transfem author?
All of the answers should be: YES I DO or else I WILL BAN YOU
Since you obviously love all of those things then Unjust Depths is perfect for YOU yes YOU! It is DESTINY
The Imbrian Ocean is at a time of severe instability. The monarch of the vast Empire that spans its unjust depths (:3) is sick and nearing death, every territory of the ocean now vying to carve their own Destiny out of the chaos. From the Volk fascists 
, Zionists 
(they literally will not die why are they still here oh my god), The 'Anarchists' (social chauvanists) 
in Bosporus, and the monarchs 
of each vast noble domain, each vies for power and prestige no matter who they crush underfoot, but it would be a pretty depressing story without a bright light in the dark.
On the edge of the Empire sits the glorious Union! The (Soviet) Union 
is a socialist federation of three states (and one anarchist mountain 
)that were formerly slave colonies under the Imbrian Empire until they broke away in a fierce liberation war. They have spent the last 20 years since then building themselves up. Whether they be Human 
, Shimmi 
(Catgirls who usually follow a religion closely related to modern Islam), and Kattaran 
(a hybrid humanoid species with characteristics of sea life ranging from sharks to cuttlefish)building socialism side by side.
First lead under the revolutionary leader Dashka Kansal, then the Idealist Ahwalia who lead the country to near ruin in pursuit of building a utopia on pillars of sand, then under the scientific socialist 
leadership of the Grand Marshall of the Union, Bhavani Jayanskar (I love Jayanskar so much shes basically as if Stalin, Lenin, and Zhukov were rolled into the same person but was a black lesbian badass who wore the uniform REALLY WELL)(she aint the main character at all tho shes only in very few scenes i just love her so much). Under Jayanskar, the Union has been growing their economy to both eliminate hunger and give everyone a home 
, but also growing their military capabilities for the inevitable return of the Empire. The Union is alone, but with the people by its side nothing, not even Destiny, can snuff out true freedoms light. 
As war wages between the Empire and Republic (basically underwater USA) once more over the lands between them, the facade begins to finally crack...
And a border conflict between the Empire and Union escalate, and the dreaded reconquest begins.
Amidst this turmoil, lives our main characters (yes there are multiple and all of them are lovely). Each of whom I personally love dearly, and are very well characterized. Many are soldiers of the Union, some are scientists, some are divers (mech pilots), some are lost strands finding new meaning after joining this band of Brigands
All are Communists 
All serve the Union 
All would gladly give their lives to defending socialism 
but even they would have little inkling of the adventure set in store for them as the lands beneath the waves erupt in fire, fury, and revolt
Can these transgender badasses kick fascist ass?
Can they kiss? (oh my god please kiss ISTG THERE IS SO MUCH SHIPPING AHHHH ITS GLORIOUS)
FIND OUT HERE: https://unjustdepths.com/
please do or else I will pout incessantly
just try it pleeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaaaaaaaase i need to talk to someone about it after Cromalin went AFK
(I miss her, she was a real one)
REALLY IMPORTANT RULES BELOW, MUST READ
Join our public Matrix server! https://matrix.to/#/#tracha:chapo.chat
As a reminder, be sure to properly give content warnings and put sensitive subjects behind proper spoiler tags. It's for the mental health of not just your comrades, but yourself as well.
Here is a screenshot of where to find the spoiler button.
spoiler
okay, this is going to be a short reply since i've been blowing your inbox up for 2 (3? how does time?) days now and i'm sure you want to be doing other things too lol
lol yep, i have a sippy cup water bottle that Partner bought for me, i have dropped it SO MUCH, on SO MANY keyboards lmfao i'm pretty sure i'm a brain transplant. i refuse to have anything with an open top on my desk (coffee mug also has a sealing lid)
thats cool as shit, i dont know individual Thinkpad models but i would 100% read/listen to an infodump on it.
my take on this is that if someone is willing to put up with this much from me, that i should appreciate them and try to fight my own fears of being seen as my real self, push past my mask and try and be as honest as possible. so, thank you (and also i agree, wtf, barely anyone lets me finish omg, or i can tell they're not listening, or they're overwhelmed. bah, text-based communication it is for me)
yeah, agree. i learned not to post back in my 4chan days, and from no one responding to me on Facebook. this place good. i have an absolute cutie in my inbox right now talking to me about Castle of the Winds and it is precious i love it i have to respond
absolutely. i think i got the text done for a post that i'm sure no one will read lol, and while i was working on the boring bits and framing devices slowly over the past few days, i got really emotional about all of it today and wrote something absolutely heart-wrenching (to me), and suddenly the entire post changed from something about a dumb game into something really really deeply personal that i didn't even know i was feeling until I started crying lol. just need to get all the screenshots together which i'll do tonight (gotta move my PC from the living room to the dining room where my non-office desk is on the table lol). ready to receive 2 upvotes and 0 replies! lol. (gotta keep those expectations ankle high so that i'm not disappointed ... or something) (i really hope it doesn't turn out like the Skyrim thread, oh god)
he actually got a whole bunch of dental work done yesterday and he came home a totally different person - he feels alive to me again. i'm not able to talk today so we're chatting over text lol, i didn't realize how much the dental stuff was weighing on him over the past few months (neither did he) poor guy. so nice to have him back
noted. at this point, i'd probably just ask you about a book before i started reading it, we clearly have similar tastes
active? wow! it's still around? i'm not going back, but that's right i remember it having a little scripting language and trying to figure out how to load rwx models into my own games. i couldn't get a bootleg dev kit for renderware or else i would have used it for my AW clone, lol. all of the completely stupid copycat things i'd build had vgmusic .mid s playing in them to to really sell the vibe. and random teleports when you click on things. magical.
thank you for saying that, i hope ... idk which outcome for you, but i hope you can feel good about it no matter the outcome, whether you can or can't, or do or don't, you know? or at least make peace with it? i'm messed up still about some stuff i want to do but can't too, i don't know how to be ok about it. i rant about this further down.
aside, i'm in a meeting right now where people are talking about security & compliance "review" (ie. one guy at the company becoming defacto yet another barrier to actually doing my job) for every line of code and i just want to die, i hate programming lol, i tried to do anything else in college like medicine, psychology... did horribly. i would love to switch careers, maybe become a medical lab tech or the person that takes blood or something.
totally, but the "big ideas" are rare and i usually tear them up anyway because they don't feel authentic, like i'm copying someone else, or assembling things together, or i don't like it the next day. i've given up kinda on being any kind of artist except something like a raccoon, stringing together trash and memes into a slurry (do raccoons do this?), and even that feels unauthentic, like some kind of defense mechanism. idk, i clearly am conflicted about many things haha.
i may not know exactly what you're referring to (other than your previous comment) but i definitely feel a bit of that. the only courses i could do well in were electrical engineering ones in highschool (i liked breadboarding & soldering a lot, it's really just a stim, you place the chips, figure out how to run the wires, cut the wires, put them in the right spots, line everything up nice and neat..., except i was slow and exhausted all the time lol because boolean logic and binary addition is kinda math, isn't it?), or programming related. essays? can't write them (i know right?! i am writing a billion words right now). math? like running a marathon. ask me to read The Road (college literature course required for a degree that i fucking flunked and re-took 3 times and still failed)? can't get past the second chapter, and definitely not with all the other courses. I have a brain made for programming, adventure games, IQ tests (which are fucking stupid ... ugh, I don't have the words to describe them), and queer fiction, but not much else. "gifted" my ass
once, a teacher shouted at me, in front of my parents (who were across the country, so over the phone) for "not trying." i literally didn't even remember this until my mom mentioned it a few weeks ago, i must have disassociated out of the galaxy lol.
uhh, anyway, if you want to share anytime feel free
...shit, i literally cannot write a short post.
A SHORT REPLY LMFAO
As soon as I read that my eyebrow went up.
I mean, I could be /g/ for you, it's mostly pretty tame stuff though. Aside from chiclet keys I do not have many hot takes.
This is just a good thing to learn in general! But also you are welcome
I can relate, in person this much chatter might be a bit much to parse, lol
I read it.
The little personal anecdotes and such randomly interspersed into the game stuff make it standout, good post.
Oh no this is so based though.... magical indeed...
Idk, I doubt I'll get peace with it anytime soon. I guess I'm glad I don't code though....
You become a transformative raccoon at some point though right? All great creators take and update.
The fact that western postsecondary education is your enemy means that we are comrades in arms, you can call upon me if you ever start a hostile takeover of any educational institution and I will fight to the last breath alongside you against our oppressors. We will make the slime that passes for "educators" in this sick western society pay their debt.
haha i have been endlessly refreshing to see if i get more replies on the other post, so i saw this as soon as you posted it... see the trick to get me to post shortly is to somehow get me not to respond when i'm supposed to be working lol.
i don't remember why we are spoiler tagging tbh
I surprised myself with that post lol. I was trying ... too much to say...
wait, what?! why have I never heard of this? that's so clever!!
tbh, they don't need to be hot takes for me to enjoy reading them. i also like cool takes, room temperature, chilled, iced, i like all kinds. i do remember /g/, i sure did get some bad qualities it took me a while to purge from there tbh
i promise i do not talk this much in person. although ... if we had met in person, i wonder what the conversation would have been like... would i have talked a lot, or a little? a lot of the time in person i just listen, esp if someone is capital T Talking about something they like, or sometimes make dumb jokes. i'm sure it would have been very different. this is better
i really liked your Imago post idk, and everything else you've liked that I've had time to get into has been pretty cool. i'm sure there will be something eventually, but ngl i kinda just wanted to respond with "try me"
this is true, but i only learned about it a little while ago when Partner was watching videos on making pixel art for the game he was helping me with. I'm not sure I've gotten that far though
based
edit: well fuck this one actually looked short to me, i think it's all the quotes that make it look long. must be, mmhmm.
Mostly because the replies are huge, I worry about clogging the thread Idk
I know right, not every thinkpad has them, my R51 died to grape juice. But most 15" and 14" ones do and it saves em often...
Waow... maybe I will thinkpadpost sometime...
I like to think I could uphold my Ideals in person but to be real circumstance depending, I probably would have run away before it even started sadly. Idk how to do this in meatspace, online better.
I wonder what weird picks I would throw at someone and expect them not to like, hmmmmm......
Idk, you could probably do it and it would probably be cool honestly.
Yeah big back and forths like this tend to fold down to less replies naturally, par for the course and not a bad thing. Couldn't talk like this forever lol
no clog
damn, grape juice. that's rough. i once had a pet rat pee on my laptop, it uh slowly degraded after that. i think she wanted attention...
cool!! link me!!
wow, as soon as I read this, I realized that's exactly how it feels. IRL I'm pretty meek, i mean, i'm pretty meek online too, only around Safe Partner do I rant about imperialism. to my friends it's all like "well you know maybe we should uh do something about uh ~our economic system~
i remember people saying the internet wasn't real to me when i was young. aged like milk tbh. incidentally, i just watched Serial Experiments Lain again, and not only is she literally me fr fr when I was a tiny enby, but I finally understand the core conflict about the Wired (Internet) becoming real, more real that life even. I think it was predictive - I think online might actually be a better place to try and change people's opinions than in person. I'm biased tho, lol
this is a real test of your rtstragedy knowledge (ok, there's gotta be a shorter version of my handle)
i usually don't get far enough to even making something before i can transform it. i used to be able to write music and stuff, now i just shitpost and read i guess. before the summer i was self-teaching piano since i like making video-game style music (i'm not good at it, in case you were wondering), but Partner took some time off of violin so I have taken a break too. the piano is a rental, lol
totally, i've had this thought in my head like "what are we gonna do when the thread rolls over" lol.
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I love that pet rat though, that's sorta funny. Beloved
Yeah, mostly I only mean socially though. I have fought my dad a little about Palestine, to no avail. But I am woefully socially inept irl, so I can't really talk to people much. The five-senses input pulls my focus from the conversation...
Oh based as fuck, congrats on becoming fullsized btw. I should watch Lain sometime, it is a classic it seems...
Wife and I have been saying "rts" for short in conversation, lol. I have no idea though, trouble is I believe very firmly in the things I give solid recs to, mostly. I guess people may not like This Is How You Lose The Time War for its fucky chronology and avant-garde tone.
Lol same, cool that Safe Partner plays music too though, you both have so many skills and hobbies waowee...
We are gonna POST when the thread rolls over!!!!
i dont know how to nest spoiler tags.
frick, i keep doing it
haha yeah i dont have pets now, but i think rodents are cute :3 rats are pretty cool, apparently they communicate above the range of human hearing (obv don't adopt wild rats, they can have diseases apparently)
oh no, sorry that that didn't work out. i usually fillibuster my parents about communism, i'm an only child, what are they gonna do? talk to their dog? (their dog is very cute and my dad loves her to pieces lol) my mom is Russian/Ukrainian (Ukrainian mom, Russian (dead) dad) so it's been surprising to hear her start agreeing on this stuff as she was very anti-communist prior as her parents fled Russia "for practicing religion" (I don't have the historical knowledge to unpack what that could mean). When I feel safe, I guess I can talk freely, but there's no way I'd be able to talk about this kind of stuff outside my Partner and family. I used to talk very angrily at them ... I've softened a lot. So have they. I cut them off for nearly an entire decade when I transitioned. I still refuse to talk to the extended family.
i hear you, i struggle with trying to maintain cisheteroneuronormativity as well as distractions and sensory issues in public spaces, so i mostly just mask and do small talk, or talk about something safe like tech. unfortunately, masking for me also means political-normativity, so at best i'm doing some weak-kneed suggestions about Parenti, or talking about UBI lol.
First time I watched, I thought it was edgy for edgy's sake, and maybe that's a bit true (starts with a suicide, but I think it's meant to be read as metaphorical). It avoids a lot of anime tropes, but ... shit, ok, here we go...
spoilers for Serial Experiments Lain, but mostly aesthetic spoilers
so I really like Lain as a character.
I also really like her friend Alice, who is the best friend I wished I had when I was in school. I read her as trying to include Lain in things, even though her friends were a bit apprehensive, and genuinely caring. Damn, she's great.
uhh I still call you Tactics Ogre Enjoyer to Safe Partner, I hope that's ok... it takes me a very long time to be able to refer to someone by name to someone else when someone else doesn't know them personally. I don't know why, its a weird brain thing for me, like I don't have permission to use their real name (or even handle) somehow lol.
I usually name all my characters in video games Kara (not my real name, in case you are worried), you could try that if it's easier to say, but its nbd. I don't even know why I picked this name lol, it's a self-deprecating joke about how I mispronounce words... my real name is super common anyway, so it'd probably be nbd, but in the spirit of opsec this is probably better.
haha, nice try, this sounds fucking sick actually and i'm going to read it. we'll see if i can handle the fucky chronology though, sometimes I do struggle with that.
i cycle through things, or go through seasons being into something. it sounds better than it is i think.
hmm idk not sure, write words to people on the internet?
couldn't be me ... wouldn't have been a week ago...
:::
FRICK
Oh no ofc, I just appreciate all rodents and other similar Lil Guys. I mean what are cats if not oversized rodents?
I do not do this :3 I am the weird autist everywhere I go. Although I do engage in the "mask and just talk about safe topics" because am I gonna explain Unjust Depths or even Wayhaven to my 60something year old dad??? I did make him really mad by saying that the existence of Russia as it stands is entirely the west's fault, lmao.
Yeah sounds breddy gud honestly =)
This makes me snort, and Tactics Ogre Enjoyer's Wife? I said to wifey that of all possible things to be identified by, that's a pretty good one, lmao. You can feel free to use Ash or Ashina for me though, less of a mouthful lol. I will attempt to affect "Kara" though, saw on your Wayhaven save!! Very cool!!
HEY FUCK YOU,
My wife and I went back and forth for ages about its pronounciation and still stumble over it often!!! Grrrrrrrr joke too good!!
Alright well good luck ✨ it's a little aloof for some people but it is popular Idk.
Lfg online messages gang!!!!
it happened again
ok i'm at work, i'm working, need to work the working, so this post will be short (she is lying)
damn totally, i love animals, allergic to cats tho :(
i uh don't use this language in front of them, but I have been to Russian churches, and seem what that kind of belief system provides. I ... secretly ... agree, completely. It fucked me up, I'm thirty-X years and still struggle with things from it.
haha many such cases
this is why I like you & magi, I love this. I'm sick of hiding, it's so much effort. And if I have to hide, I want to minimize the amount of time I'm doing it. I was masking 24/7, even from Safe Partner, before I discovered what it was. I'm finding myself unable to mask in some situations, now that I know what it is (and I'm also finding that I was not masking already in a lot of ways) - I have a problem presenting anything but authentically. I can't lie or even lie by omission (as I'm sure you've noticed, I give big answers to small questions because, in part, I want no room for misunderstandings).
tru, I have not mentioned Wayhaven, but I would probably talk to him about Unjust Depths (once I read it) just to confuse him or to rant about communism lol. They like hearing about communism from me, he feels very seen when I start talking about it, my mom too I think. He usually likes it when I rant for an hour or two, but sometimes I feel like I should at least attempt to talk about things he might be interested in.
based, let's hope it's the kind of mad that turns into eventual agreement.
thank you for reading!! i never know how long anything I write will be, it can be tough to figure out how much I have to say until I'm actually saying it, and I try not to give only partial thoughts. Every serious post is all in for me, unless I am tired or distracted.
I call magi Goth Wife, actually (I hope that's ok!!!). I'm glad to hear you talk about me, I thought I was being weird doing the same with Safe Partner. At least knowing it's mutual helps haha. I've called you Tactics Ogre Enjoyer since I saw you posting about Tactics Ogre, before we started really talking and while I was still too scared to post. I will try to update my mental model haha, but it may take a while. (also, how to pronounce magi? "maj-eye"? "mah-jee"?)
(this is extremely weird sorry...) I struggle to try to explain the nickname thing, I do it for some people. There's something weirdly intimate about me in particular referring to a person by a name that could be given to an actual human, it's like saying they're a close friend, or that I would be sad if they stopped talking to me or disappeared. (100% not an issue on the receiving end, dw). Maybe it's that I get a lot of emotions about people easily, and this lets me kind of keep a polite distance to protect myself. That's the best interpretation I have right now, maybe hold off reading too much into it as I'm not totally confident this is 100% me fr fr yet. I use nicknames for fun, too, they're usually fun to say, and it's 100% used as a term of endearment.
Of course, I figure I'm the only one that thinks this way, since it's really really weird lol.
oh shit, actually, was the last name on there?
it's a unique vocal thing I do, I mix up phenomes in words, sometimes I swap back and forth between correct and not. Words like stragedy, stanima, etc. I didn't notice until people pointed it out, but I kinda refuse to change it. It's how I talk, people should deal with it, and I refuse to change it because I think it's cute and I already spend a lot of energy talking as is without worrying about it.
if anyone I knew IRL read this post they'd probably know my online handle from this lol, show yourselves cowards
edit: struggling with pronouns sorry!
Okay well I'm blowing up your inbox but don't fuss, just prioritise what you need
My dad is one of those USamerican guys (he is KKKanadian but lol) who grew up in the 60s and drank the CIA koolaid, he earnestly still lives in a red scare and thinks Vladimir Putin is an ebil gommunist dictator who is gonna take over yurop. I am pretty sure he would unironically kill me if I said "there is a specter haunting all of europe" lmao. I wish my parents were open to communism rambles like yours... I might make progress with dad but it's like arguing against the state department lol.
I told her and she laughed, I think that's breddy gud. Her username is pronounced "māge-eye" like the Zelda magi, I guess. Also waow you read the Ogrepost ✨ I talk with wifey about bearsite goings-on very frequently, honestly. It's big social.
Nah you're fine dw, it's about familiarity, I see. Makes perfect sense to me, although I can admit I don't put as much weight on nicknames.
Not to my memory?
MAKING PEOPLE DEAL WITH YOUR AUTISM HABITS
This is extremely based, I love to see it.
i actually get excited when people i feel safe around blow up my inbox
damn that's based, wish i had cat. love visiting cats, they're just like me fr fr
fuck yes
it's funny, and kind of a relief lol. luckily there have been very few consequences, and I try to keep a lot of it under wraps still, but if I get deep into a conversation with someone or something unexpected happens in a social situation whoops there it goes.
oh no, that really sucks, frick why do people not think past propaganda? is it material interests? it's probably material interests, isn't it... i have and had very mixed feelings about the idea of family in general, preferring the idea of "found family" to blood family. my family is very large and very shitty, so I cut most of them off entirely with no desire to reconnect, despite their advances and reassurances from my mom that "they're okay with how you are, as Kara, they use your name..." like, what do i have to gain from talking to the Christian cishet nutjobs? I'm not planning on having kids and that's all they care about.
noted!
i did, back when it was posted, but haven't gone back yet haha. Partner read it last week because I insisted lol
ya same
yeah, i'm not sure I have it figured out. surprised by my own emotions again...
I went back and found it, and removed the image from the post. It was one of the suggested last names in the game, but still uhhh yeah shit I shouldn't say more.
lol. i mean, it's never malicious, but people usually think it's cute, so...
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Good!! I worry sometimes because I don't wanna be saying JUST YAP AUTISTICALLY IRL if it could put people in danger, so I'm happy to hear you had a good experience with it, mostly.
Idk, my dad just took it at face value and thinks commies are bad and killed billions. It's very fucking silly. He knows the governments in imperial core nations are bullshitters and yet... this.
Absolutely based, and yeah fuck these people. I can only imagine that even "accepting" cishet christian nutjobs would have freakish thoughts about trans people and having kids.
Okay this fucked me up, lmao. People are passing my thing around to others waow...
This happens to me a lot, if I haven't felt something before I feel it BIIIIIG
Oh yeah okay, soz. I was pretty sure it was a suggested name, yeah.
I can admit some autism habits are cute tbqh..................
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generally, programmers are pretty ND or have some ND traits, so it helps me blend in. and i don't get out much, lol.
oh, yeah, the both sides... good luck :/ but I do want to say my parents went through that. my dad was a Musk lover for a bit, he'd agree with all the things i'd tell him, and then also repeat liberal talking points. still sometimes he whines about "this thing is garbage because it was MADE IN CHINA." I calmly explain every time, and eventually he starts correcting himself... eventually...
actually, I have a lot of thoughts about found family based on our earlier conversations, I'll post about it sometime soon, maybe tonight or something.
in a good way?
helps to know i'm not alone, lol
yes absolutely. i love hearing/reading infodumps usually, this is something i find cute and awesome about autistic people - they way they can write a thousand words about a short story and make me feel it too. that ruled, btw.
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Based and based, I wish my autism helped me blend in, but I also don't get out much soooo...
My dad does this and it's very funny. He thinks china bad which is y'know, blegh.
Aw fuck yeah looking for gorup, looking for grooooup!!!!!! New post!!!!!
Yeah in a good way =) that's one of my proudest posts so y'know.
It's an emotional regulation thing, I have to know a feeling so I can put internal strategies in place to be regulated about it.
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i just remind him all the good things that he thinks arent made in China are actually made in China
As soon as I saw you doing this in my inbox I immediately had to tell Partner excitedly, lmao.
Oh! This makes sense. Yeah, I've been feeling a lot of new feelings lately. Not really sure about any of it, lol, but I think that I probably do this too. It's been a strange couple of months in general, since I started seeing Cool Therapist. I went from just thinking I wanted to go back on ADHD medication and feeling like I had too many hobbies and being sad about that to being like "I want my full time job to be posting on bear site. Someone pay me." and "also, autistic btw." I've read so many books, listened to so many different autistic people on YouTube, made an effort post in one of these threads a while back about it too for someone...
Then I read the Gender Accelerator. And now I'm reading Orange Book (slowly lol, the bear site is very good and fun actually) and giving work the respect it deserves (lol).
no exceptions, sorry you'll just have to accept this, your posts are good actually
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That sounds like a lot of really good turnaround since you've been seeing Cool Therapist, then, which sounds rad as fuck. And then gender theory! Also waow I sure wish my fulltime job was posting...
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totally, i'm happy about it. i'm trying to work on this fond family post, but realizing that ... i don't actually have any answers for any of it. i just kinda started writing and then ran into a wall, lol
I believe in you though :3 glad you are happy abt it.
(oh, it finally happened, didn't it)
(did it?)
(i am not sure honestly. i am trying to decide if i should change my profile picture or not ... i did not expect it to be this big of a decision)