https://fxtwitter.com/mindyisser/status/1841638409065918861
On its own is bad enough, but then starting with "I'm an entrepreneur first and executions are a hobby," makes it that much worse.
I have a morbid curiosity about what he sells because I think that would be incredibly informative.
Selling bits of rope and clothing taken off his victims as good luck charms.
Bigger red flag than being the guy that releases the rope for guillotines
Look, if you stop you lose all the loyalty reward points you've been building up.
Executioner's guild has a good medical plan but you need to be credited for at least one execution per year. Kinda like the army.
Flying back to Saudi Arabia from NYC with a huge axe for a single execution is barely worth the return flights these days, thanks Democrats.
wuz about to say, really burying the lede on this one lmfao
Idk, the guillotine is a egalitarian way at least. The world could use a whole lot more guillotines.
Oh very true. But of the currently available methods I think I'd prefer decapitation to anything else except nitrogen or similar inert gas
Look into the recent gas executions in America, they are horribly botched. People writhing and coughing for minutes before dying.
Beheading sounds solid, living for a moment as just a head seems more interesting than suffocating for minutes.
Might I suggest some alternatives?
Perhaps being tied to a lightning rod on a blimp as you sail through a storm cloud? Or maybe a forced march through a minefield? Polevault into a volcano? MMA match against a bear, with winner gaining their freedom?
I’m still so confused about those botched gas ones. That should be an effective and painless method. I’m really not sure what happened.
From what I've read, it's due to the fact that they're strapping a mask to their faces. The exhaled gasses have nowhere to go, it mixes with the inert gas, and doesn't cause a loss of consciousness as quickly as intended.
They would need to place the condemned in a chamber that fills with the inert, heavier than air, gas quickly, with a relief valve at the highest point to release breathable oxygen. If they flood the chamber quickly enough, the victim will barely be conscious long enough to wonder why the air is a little colder before they black out.
I think they should use a helmet, and give the condemned a choice between motorcycle, astronaut, or old timey diving helm. Make the execution a little more fun, ya know?
From what I've read, it's due to the fact that they're strapping a mask to their faces. The exhaled gasses have nowhere to go, it mixes with the inert gas, and doesn't cause a loss of consciousness as quickly as intended.
Even if they managed the exhaled CO2 correctly (wtf they didn't?!), that requires the CO2 to actually be exhaled. But someone who doesn't want to die that's being killed by asphyxiation is naturally going to hold their breath, which means the CO2 stays in them, ruining the whole point.
Inert gas seems like a great choice for a self elected procedure, but could probably never go well for execution, because the theory of why it works (asphyxiation without the CO2 buildup that causes pain) requires cooperation.
I mean "ideally" they'd be totally put under so they can't hold their breath. But the cruelty is the point and so forth
then you might as well kill them with the drugs used to put them under. but they can't get very many medical professionals or medicine companies to go along with that
I guess intubation would work but again intubation by non professionals would probably be extremely painful and cruel
If they had done it in a chamber as opposed to a mask, holding their breath would give more time for the oxygen to be displaced, so that first desperate gasp as their lungs could bear no longer, would be pure nitrogen and they'd be unconscious fairly quickly.
But, like another responder said, cruelty is the point.
Oh yeah that would be an issue. When I first heard about it I was picturing a similar setup to the nitrogen chambers used for like hypoxia practice for pilots? It’s a whole room that fills with nitrogen, you don’t even know that anything is wrong, you just start getting confused and then pass out if it goes on long enough
There's always the chance that you remain conscious for a while as a disembodied head though, which is why I choose high explosives
I don't get it. Why not just get shot to the back of the head, quick and simple? It's always been the most humanitarian and simple solution for fascists, and I feel like it's probably not a bad way to go for myself.
My honest reaction to that information:
ShowBut for real there's a surprising amount of room for error with guns. Guillotine is incredibly reliable as far as executions go
There is a lot of room for error, but I'd still rather take the 5% chance of a botched death by a shot to the back of the head than the much more stress inducing process of being put into a guillotine.
5% is quite high. And maybe I'm just an oddball but I think I'd take some solace from being guillotine'd since it's got such interesting cultural context
yeah honestly firing squad seems fine. Or maybe we stop executing people outside of exigent/extreme circumstances, idk
just throw me in front of a concrete wall and shoot me please. It's such a vibe
At least? Injection at least theoretically can be quick and painless with the right chemicals, we do it for pets with little problem. Beheading leaves the bodyless head alive for a couple seconds.
The chemicals they use for pet euthanasia are different than lethal injection for human execution
Nah, he's just the executioner. He has that entrepreneurial spirit where he comes in for the action parts or "fun parts," claims all credit for everything while dipping out and leaving the cleanup (bonesawing) for some other poor schlub.
Genius show, it's a shame I can't find anyone irl who's heard about it
I tried to get some people to watch it with me when it came out but I didn't have a lot of luck
I'll revisit soon
I found a YouTube link in your comment. Here are links to the same video on alternative frontends that protect your privacy:
When you're 5'10" everyone says "gotta be over 6 feet." When you're 6'1" do they say "why not 6'4" "?
Feels like a bit of monkey paw.
And yes, this is cope.
You used to be able to be a man and an executioner without being judged. You can't now because of choke