cross-posted from: https://hexbear.net/post/224107

Treat Defender:

  • "Let people enjoy things"

  • Just wants to shut brain off and relax

  • Shit taste

Treat Assassin:

  • Powerful crit(icism)s

  • Appears out of nowhere and identifies flaws and weaknesses you never would've noticed but now can never ignore again

  • Mysteriously fades into shadows when their own treats come under attack

Treat Mage:

  • Nuanced, insightful analysis, can find positive/negative aspects in just about anything

  • Flexible offensive and defensive options

  • Susceptible to bullying, avoids direct confrontation

Treat Paladin:

  • Likes good things

  • Doesn't like bad things

  • Simple as

  • Nobody wants to hang with them because they feel threatened by their moral superiority and obviously correct takes

Treat Cleric:

  • Long list of rules for not engaging with things that others find frustrating and arbitrary

  • Has one specific domain of treat they enjoy

  • Wouldn't watch a Miyazaki movie because it's anime

  • Somehow keeps being right about stuff

Treat Warlock:

  • "So bad it's good," cult classics

  • Will happily explain how their favorite treat is problematic in ways you never would've considered

  • Lack of practical effects their third biggest issue with capitalism

  • Nobody told them irony is dead

TYS, add your own

    • UlyssesT [he/him]
      ·
      2 days ago

      Mystery Science Theater 3000 is like a training ground for treat warlocks.

  • Gorb [they/them]
    ·
    2 days ago

    Treat Paladin. I'm always right everyone else is always wrong, simple as

  • happybadger [he/him]
    ·
    1 day ago

    Treat bard- i have superior taste in treats and my power comes from sharing them. I'm otherwise useless.

  • Mardoniush [she/her]
    ·
    2 days ago

    Treat Ranger: gives pet spiders treats. Favoured enemy: Bazingas.

    Treat Bard: Mostly found buying treats at folk festivals and Ren Faires

    Won't stop singing about how your favourite treat is bad.

    Inexplicably liked despite this.

    Treat sorcerer. Naturally born ability to only choose good treats.

      • UlyssesT [he/him]
        ·
        2 days ago

        Not all of them.

        Some of them loudly announce blocking me and keep mentioning those blocks out loud for months, even years.

  • BobDole [none/use name]
    ·
    2 days ago

    What class would it be where you consume treats but don’t enjoy them? Is there a depressed class?

  • TraschcanOfIdeology [they/them, comrade/them]
    ·
    2 days ago

    Treat druid: the natural world has most of the treats we need. Loves hiking, reading philosophy, gardening, cooking, and animals. Has terrible social skills.

    • BoxedFenders [any, comrade/them]
      ·
      2 days ago

      I don't think those should be considered treats. Treats attempt to hijack the rewarding sense of satisfaction we get from engaging in those activities by intensifying the pleasure with instantly gratifying substitutes.

  • DragonBallZinn [he/him]
    ·
    2 days ago

    Treat Assassin here.

    IDC what anyone says, Dragon Ball may be a "treat" but it's MY treat. I also have a bad habit of going on BMF-tier rants about media I'm somewhat familiar with.

  • RedWizard [he/him, comrade/them]
    ·
    1 day ago

    Treat Hermit

    • has the treats they like.
    • does not need new treats.
    • if you expect to enjoy your treats at the hermits home. No. You will enjoy the hermits treats.
    • its fine though, the hermits treats are actually good.