Yeah, today wasn't good. Dealing with people already stresses me out quite a bit, but a holiday based around binge eating definitely made me want to drink. I should have gained my anti-psychotic weight months ago, but I've refused to do so because I just want to drink to make myself vomit what I had just ate. See, alcohol functionally makes me bullemic with no real thought behind it. I don't have to make myself throw up or binge eat, I just do it with no second thought. Right now alcohol isn't really my main concern (even though I definitely am an alcoholic, I won't lie) it's this eating disorder.
I drank today because I wanted to throw up, and I think this is the moment that is gonna make me go to rehab. I absolutely refuse to do it during the holidays, I just got out of an abusive relationship and don't want to miss all the family holidays I missed being with her. I think I'm going to go in January. I need more help for my eating disorder than I do being a drunk, and that's saying something because I get help for being a drunk.
if vomiting is a regular byproduct of your drinking, it could also simply be that your stomach is fucked. last i heard, i had four ulcers & ultimately couldn't have one beer without hurling immediately afterwards, at which point i figured 20 years of poisoning myself with this shit was more than enough.
not claiming to know what it is or isn't, obviously, just wanted to put it out there since it's probably something you should have someone take a look at at this stage anyway.
strength
Yeah, I have undiagnosed auto immune issues. I naturally vomit a lot even without alcohol, but the more I drink the worse it is when I'm actually sober (even when I'm drinking enough to actually withdrawal).
Thank you for sharing with me, I appreciate it
Oh, you poor thing
But it’s good that you have a proper plan. That’s the most important step to make, right after actually doing it.
I'm committed that this can't be the rest of my life. If I keep drinking and vomiting like this, I'm going to die a slow and painful death and I know it. I'm still really young, one of the youngest in my AA meetings, I still have plenty of time to get myself out of this but I don't want to spend any longer working on this
Be sure to write down all the good bits that you think of. Come back like a post-time skip anime character with your powered up posting
I'm over a decade off heroin, so trust me when I say I know how it feels, I know where you been.
Good luck, and congratulations, comrade. I'm happy for you, and here for you.
I'm sorry, anti-psychotics suck so much for that. It feels like getting handed a choice of: being crazy, being obese, or developing an eating disorder. It's so frustrating.
And people wonder why like 90% of people with schizophrenia smoke
You've got this. I recently had a bad day from drinking that made me take a step back. I've been an alcoholic (daily drinker) for almost a decade, but I've only drank once since Halloween. Sometimes it just clicks that it's time for a change. I was also addicted to any opioid I could get in my veins for years, from about 14 to 28. 'If I can do it, so can you' is cliche, but it's true.
I believe in you, comrade. I'm glad you're going to get help.
