Honestly, I'm here for it. The biphobic stuff I would hear from women kept me in the closet for a long time

https://xcancel.com/guywhoiswoke/status/1871313546266759389

  • machiabelly [she/her]
    ·
    5 hours ago

    People really need to stop caring what people have done in the bedroom with previous partners. You have to trust that they know what they want now and go off of that. Besides, someone who has bottomed before is going to better understand how to penetrate someone properly.

  • TankieTanuki [he/him]
    ·
    edit-2
    10 hours ago

    This exchange was good. It's like explaining concepts to Patrick Star.

    Show

  • underwire212@lemm.ee
    ·
    11 hours ago

    Duuuude straight women are fucking awful about biphobic shit. Straight women will be all virtue signaling and then all of a sudden say some shit like “…but I’d like never date an actual bisexual guy”

    I’ve also had many, many times when I’d reject a woman’s advances, and get the ol’ “Oh are you gay or something?” No, I’m not gay (as if that were some insult?), I’m just not interested in you specifically.

  • ComradeSharkfucker@lemmy.ml
    ·
    10 hours ago

    Never dated a straight woman, even the women I dated throught my gradeschool years were bi or ended up discovering they weren't straight later on. Idk what it is about me, maybe its because I too am bisexual

  • elpaso [he/him]
    ·
    edit-2
    12 hours ago

    I had to file a $4000 protective order against a former friend of mine when I came out bi after rejecting her twice. I was in the closet for over 20 years in the American South and thought it would be finally safe enough to come out earlier this year after living in the PNW for a couple of years. Guess not.

    She was sending me shit in the mail, going around calling me a predator. She kept trying to find ways to contact me; going as far as a Google photos comment section she had a link to. I gained 30 lbs from stress. I leave the country next month, thank fucking God. I'm done.

    • TankieTanuki [he/him]
      ·
      edit-2
      10 hours ago

      They make you pay money to get a restraining order?? Edit: Oh I guess that was lawyer's fees. Still ridiculous.

      I'm guessing she asked if you rejected her because you're gay, at which point you came out as bi? How did she think that made you a predator? That's fucked up.

      • elpaso [he/him]
        ·
        9 hours ago

        Yes, that is the legal fee. I went lawyer shopping for a day and I was getting quotes from $4,000 to $6,000. What's even more fucked is I have a friend who got a DUI, and his quotes were $3,000 to $4,500.

        It's cheaper to fight a DUI than to put a legal mechanism in place meant to protect you from domestic violence.

        I'm guessing she asked if you rejected her because you're gay, at which point you came out as bi?

        I came out at a new years eve party with a really hot dude. It was amazing and I miss it powercry-1 . It was the last night I truly felt attractive.

        Her first boyfriend broke up with her coming out as gay, and her fiancé cancelled their wedding after he came out as trans. She uhhh...has a type. lol. And she had an axe to grind. She lost her shit when I came out.

        How did she think that made you a predator?

        She just wanted to hurt me and went around saying that. We went to school together and our cohort had some conservatives and she leveraged the "the gays are groomers and predators" nonsense to try to hurt my reputation. Also made false accusations I harassed her as well. If you have seen Baby Reindeer, she is Martha.

        • TankieTanuki [he/him]
          ·
          7 hours ago

          Was the lawyer necessary because she challenged the restraining order? Or was it to file one in the first place?

      • elpaso [he/him]
        ·
        edit-2
        11 hours ago

        We were super close friends. I felt like I could actually open up to her and I guess I sent mixed signals or something. Never kissed her or fucked her once.

        I've had a pretty hard life and I just, I just want out lol. I leave the country mid January to Europe. I'll be over for at least 3 years but want to be there as long as I can. I loved living there as a kid.

  • imogen_underscore [it/its, she/her]
    ·
    edit-2
    14 hours ago

    straight cis women are always saying the most out of pocket shit about gay men, doesn't surprise. they will also ape queer culture and fashion all day and then act aghast when someone mistakes them for queer lol. have seen this a lot. cishet guys do it too of course people just have a notion that women are like predisposed to be less queerphobic or smth

  • HumanBehaviorByBjork [any, undecided]
    ·
    15 hours ago

    in accordance with the wise adage "polling is bullshit," i'm gonna have to fact check this one.

    The source is a Glamour magazine article. The "study" was conducted by Glamour itself. Almost no information about methodology is shared, including how respondents were located and contacted, what their demographics were, or what the actual questions being responded to were. All we are told is that they polled "1,015 women ages 18 to 44 about their own sexual identities and experiences." Needless to say, this is not a representative sample, and I strongly suspect these were Glamour readers responding to an online poll.

    I don't doubt that biphobia is widespread, but I want harder evidence.

  • Yukiko [she/her]
    ·
    16 hours ago

    More for me then. Bi men are fun in bed. I like men that’ll rail me and let me rail them in return. emilie-shrug

    • diegeticalt (any)@lemmygrad.ml
      ·
      11 hours ago

      Liking to receive anal isn't necessarily related to sexuality.

      I don't like the assumption here that any man who is attracted to men likes receiving anal, or that any man who likes being pegged isn't straight because of that.

      • Yukiko [she/her]
        ·
        11 hours ago

        Alright, then I like a man that’ll either do the above or ram both my holes. Who cares?

        • diegeticalt (any)@lemmygrad.ml
          ·
          10 hours ago

          ram both my holes

          I don't consent to an explicit conversation with these details. To continue in that vein is sexual harassment.

          I'm trying to politely point out your implied bi/homophobia as they're typically not condoned here.

          • Yukiko [she/her]
            ·
            10 hours ago

            You are seriously reading way too far into it. JFC. I lived as a top gay man that despised anal for 34 years of my life. I know how this shit goes.

    • bdonvr@thelemmy.club
      ·
      edit-2
      12 hours ago

      Two bi guys (or as a bi dude, another bi guy and a woman also an option) is grade-A fantasy shit right there.

      Okay let's calm down before someone calls the Volcel Police

  • SocialistDovahkiin [she/her]
    ·
    17 hours ago

    wait like, half of this at least, is also discriminatory to SA victims. Do these people just tell men who are assaulted to fuck off?

    • bdonvr@thelemmy.club
      ·
      edit-2
      12 hours ago

      Yeah, that's what the grand jury and some of my family basically said 🙃

      Though that's not solely a male SA victim thing, often just a SA victim thing. Society just tells men and women SA victims to fuck off in different ways.

  • TheLepidopterists [he/him]
    ·
    18 hours ago

    The reply that's like "it's not homophobia, I just prefer a masculine man, and a man who is capable of attraction to another man is less masculine" is killing me.

    I'm sorry, how is "same sex attraction makes you less of a man" not homophobia? Or I guess the real question is how can someone who isn't openly bigoted, who recognizes that homophobia is a thing to distance oneself from, incapable of seeing that that's obviously homophobia?

  • SkingradGuard [he/him, comrade/them]
    ·
    16 hours ago

    I live in a pretty conservative area and most of the women on dating apps wouldn't want to date me the moment they found out I'm bi

  • DefinitelyNotAPhone [he/him]
    ·
    17 hours ago

    I know the women in my life trend more queer than the average, but given the voracious appetite among women I know for gay fanfics and/or yaoi this is wild to me.

    Not that fetishization is preferable, of course.

    • CharlieTheOctopus [he/him]
      ·
      15 hours ago

      Yeah there really is no correlation between the fetishization of queer people and actual acceptance. I’d wager that a huge chunk of those people who consume that content do so BECAUSE they find it ‘deviant’ and thusly more exciting in a taboo way.

      See also: rabid racists who consume interracial pornography and transphobic people consuming porn with trans people in it

    • SpiderFarmer [he/him]
      ·
      15 hours ago

      Same. Maybe it's because I jumped headlong into kink, but most women perked up when I mentioned my bisexuality.