Disclaimer: All my love to poly comrades, I'm not shitting on your relationship preferences, it's just this tweet is ridiculous.
Disclaimer: All my love to poly comrades, I'm not shitting on your relationship preferences, it's just this tweet is ridiculous.
Polyamory isn't going mainstream anytime soon, and Based on the poly people I have met, they'll be far quicker to judge everyone else for not being Poly than the other way around. You know like how new atheists called everyone stupid for not being exactly like them and then wondered why people were sick of them and decided it was oppression? I suspect it will be that again.
"There isn't a bigger fanatic than the recently converted"
I've got nothing against Poly relationships, but I feel like most people already have enough trouble dealing with only one other romantic partner. A 4 person polycule has 6 different individual relationships within itself, and I feel like that would have way too much potential for messiness for me to feel comfortable in.
The vast majority of poly relationships I've seen have basically just gone "two people who are intensely in love with each other but also one or both want to sleep around -> one of them gets replaced in emotional importance by someone new -> the replaced party ends up deeply hurt that someone they love doesn't give a shit about them anymore." It's happened to friends of mine, it happened to my ex before we started dating, and then she did it to me in turn. In fact, I've only ever seen one long-term stable polycule and even having barely any contact with them all I see is the ridiculous amount of effort they all put in to maintain that relationship with one another.
People get hurt and badly hurt each other in relationships all the time. Lots of people aren't (yet but they could be) the kind to reflect and really care about the needs of others, and just as is the case with monogamy, usually results in pain and hurt feelings. It's nothing unique to polyamory, it's just that polyamory involves more moving parts and there are more opportunities for friction.
the ones ive seen work best is when two couples decide they really like each other's company and decide to take it more seriously. everyone already is more attached to one person and it helps meld things better.
Trouble do be increasing at
n*(n-1)/2n - 0.5 rate, but it's a personal choice.Or groupal in this case, but you get it.
a four person polycule could have only 3 relationships?
A B
B C
C D
I don't know if your doing a bit, but:
AB, AC, AD
BC, BD,
CD
Each of these is an individual relationship
Not everyone has to date everyone in a polycule.
Take a three person polycule for instance.
It can be A B and BC
Or it can be A B, B C, and CA
Transpeople would like to be able to make respectful overtures without being construed as trespasssers on private property and responded to with typical indignation and violence, wouldn't they?
This feels more like a condemnation of your social circle than poly people overall
More a condemnation of "loud" poly people in the punk community than the majority who I suspect aren't like that. I also suspect it's a pre-emptive defence mechanism because they're used to people shitting on them.
My encounters have always been fleeting, honestly and I didn't intend this as a condemnation of all poly people. Merely the kind that make tweets like this. Which I thought was clear tbh.
You didn't condemn all poly people, but when you have a full thread of comments like yours that say effectively "the only poly people I know suck for x or y other reason" it's hard not to read between the lines.
When I commented there were no other comments though, as you can see by the time I posted. So At the time I only had the image to react to and wasn't "piling on" as it now seems.
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