It's so sad
This is definitely a real thing for the boomer brainworm crowd. They scream that anyone to the left of Marco Rubio is a pedophile and then are shocked—shocked!—that their kids don't want to expose their grandkids to that.
My boomer parents are wisely playing both sides. For example, they brag that their grandkids are getting homeschooled. They get Facebook Social Credit from their friends who are so happy that these kids will be avoiding the Woke Agenda. (Ha, haha, ahahahahahahaha)
"Don't worry, we're not teaching them any of that liberal shit" (because the curriculum is communist
)Why was Salvador Allende overthrown by popular revolt:
A). Because he rigged the election
B). Because his corruption was exposed
C). Because his socialist economic policies caused long lines, destroyed countless businesses, and made wealthy or middle class Chileans to flee the country.
Correct answer is C.
You're doing fine work and I'm proud of you. Raise them kids right. (or raise them left, rather?)
It's strange isn't it. Did I grow in up absolute privilege or have things changed that much? By privilege, I mean, all my grandparents were normal people. They likely had some crap takes and we had mild disagreements over the years. But they didn't go around swearing and using slurs (not just not in front of children) and there was a consensus that Nazis are bad and maybe racism and bigotry are bad too (albeit couched in liberalism).
It's crazy to see what western material conditions from circa 1950–2003 did to western minds. For anyone who needs evidence of the overdetermination of the economic base, this might be it.
Yeah I genuinely lack the imagination to picture parents who aren't saying slurs every other word. It seems like every white person around my parents' age is like that with incredibly rare exceptions.
I've seen it come in two varieties, ambient and active. My dad is ambient. He'll complain about black people and the state of the world, but it's incoherent and when pushed on it, he'll shut up, but it's still there in him. My mother is active, every 5 minutes she has to complain about the existence of Latino people or how Trump should be king of America. She'll bring it up no matter what is going on. She taught me the n-word before I had ever seen a black person for the first time. Actually deranged people.
"my kids became adults, realized im a shit human, and now i can't see my grandbabies! and that angers the narcissist in me because I only had children for selfish reasons."
my kids became adults, realized im a shit human, and now i can't see my grandbabies!
I mean, I wish this was more the case. But as often as not, its simply because the Millennial generation has needed to move across the country to find good work. I know more than a few chud grandparents who get plenty of grandkid time purely on the basis of free childcare being worth its weight in gold. I know more than a few based woke grandparents who never see their grandkids simply because they live on the east coast and the grandkids live out west. Increasingly, you'll see grandparents move halfway across the country to be closer to family. Or you'll see kids moving back in and forming extended households, entirely because of the cost of real estate.
Even the worst politics can be forgivable, even the best negligible, when material conditions are a concern.
i was just working off the meme and the grandparent who made that probably is a shit person if they have to "make up" with their kids. Obviously there are other reasons a grandparent can't see their kid for valid or geographical reasons. My own parents are stupid as fuck conservative catholics but they aren't complete twats about it so they see their grandkids and kids with no problems. Their debates they would have with me(the only commie) would anger me in the past, but now it just makes me laugh.
the grandparent who made that
Idk, man. That could easily have been cooked up in Ben Shapiro's basement.
My own parents are stupid as fuck conservative catholics but they aren't complete twats about it so they see their grandkids and kids with no problems.
That's generally the norm. Political views vary but families tend to stick together purely because they know and empathize with one another more than phantom third parties that they pretend their personal politics impacts.
Idk, man. That could easily have been cooked up in Ben Shapiro's basement.
whoever made it, some situation sparked the creation of it. It was probably created after 2016 since that's when my own mom went off the fuckin deep end of Republicanism, like most of them.
My adoptive parents bought me so my adoptive mother would have control over my wedding/baby shower and what children I have and she wouldn't risk being alone on holidays when her biological children (all sons) get married.
They've been so much worse to me after I told them I'm not having kids because now they wasted money on buying and raising me
Man I fucking feel for you guys in this thread. My parents are just well-meaning libs who immediately cave when I apply pressure. Like when JK Rowling was first getting onto her bullshit and I whipped out an "actually my friend is trans and you knew her pre-transition" it basically blew the transphobia out of them like a shotgun blast. I'd rent my parents out to you guys if I could so you could have a couple old academic libs to very lightly dunk on with the understanding that they are still trying to figure out a confusing world even in old age.
Edit: I should add that I empathize because growing up in the South, most of my friends had the parents you describe and I was pretty familiar with how unstable it made them feel at home.
Yeah I'm literally in the process of trying to figure out how to stay in contact with my father but cut off all communications with my mother. She's gone off the deep end. Any conversation with her centers around her racist hatred of Mexicans. She always wants to tell me highly exaggerated and likely fabricated stories of encounters with Mexicans she's had. The woman carries a switchblade and always grasps for it in her purse if she sees someone with too dark of a complexion. I can't be in public with her because if she hears a single word of Spanish around her, her eyes get wide and she'll start muttering to herself about how "Mexicans should all go back."
We live in Texas, so often these people aren't even from Mexico. It's just Latinos, mostly people born in Texas in the first place.
She's super into Trump as well, obviously, but she's one of the odd ones who is also pro-vaccine, so at least she has that. She worships the British royal family too...and is also somehow an advocate for Irish decolonization (she claims we have Irish ancestry even though as far as I can tell our family came from Poland)
Absolutely based but it's still sad. I wish your parents didn't suck so much that it's necessary.
I have felt myself coming close many times. I still have normal relations with my parents but they don't know how thin the ice is.
That's so funny LMAO these people are real?? Like I know people that are casually racist or two-faced racist, but I've never met someone that goes berserk at hearing Spanish. I'd want to see her if she wouldn't stab me 😂
Yeah she's actually like this. Also she'll scream the n-word if she sees a black person on TV. She's like a cartoon character and it's only gotten worse in the last 10 years. She was more subdued and casually racist in the 90s. Now she's been driven nuts by Facebook.
My MIL recently pulled the "Think about what your doing to [my daughter]." After we recently set boundaries about her not talking to my wife until she apologizes to her for a previous incident.
After a couple instances of non-compliance we shifted to no contact. MIL threw a fit because she "didn't know what she did wrong".
What's up with your MIL? Is it standard sort of racism or bigotry?
Because I'm scared to have kids and introduce them to my parents. My potential kids would learn slurs just from the everyday conversations my parents have.
My MIL has just been generally unsympathetic to my wife's mental health. We tried to be considerate because my MIL was raised in a different time where that kind of stuff was just shut away.
She recently said some very nasty stuff to my wife along the lines of "You won't be a good mother because of your mental health".
We've tried to mend that with talks but she never really understood the damage she caused. Giving half apologies like "I'm sorry you took it that way" or "I'm sorry you feel that way".
We haven't received a true apology and we're starting to accept that we aren't going to get one. She thinks we're overreacting and tries to act like nothing is wrong and tries to interact with us as normal.
So we finally set our boundaries for our peace of mind. And she's starting to get consequences from those boundaries.
Wait, your MIL is talking to her own daughter that way? What the hell, it's just genuine cruelty at this point. Your MIL won't listen to reason, you're probably right to cut her off. God, I'm really sorry you have to deal with this.
I hope you and your wife are doing well otherwise.
There were signs of manipulation before everything blew up but it really came to a head once my wife recognized the signs.
I'm just glad to be out of the situation. I'm sure it's far from over but the hard cut has worked wonder's on our mental state.
Thanks for the kind words.
I'm really proud of both of you for standing up to your mother in law and keeping firm on your boundaries
Sorry you have to do it in the first place though :/
Its the "fathers rights movement" a subsidiary of the "men's rights movement".
My uncle keeps sending group texts of straight-up Qanon or transphobic hatred shit and I just don't respond, nobody does
My dad's Facebook page paints a profile of a painfully stereotypical boomer conservative, he thinks Bernie Sanders is a communist and Joe Biden pressed the make gas expensive button
My mom listens to Adam Carolla
My surviving grandma is 91 and watches Fox News all day, weeping for how bad California looks now with all the homeless people living on bridges but not a thought for the people and where they're supposed to fucking go since simply existing in public is basically illegal for them
I'm very thankful that my family is full of leftists. Some of these posts tell me I'd be traumatized if I lived in some of these households. Instead I get to hear my dad go on hour long rants about the US Empire and how the president of El Salvador is a fascist dumbass. He does tend to say things during those rants that could be labelled as problematic but he's also a farmboy from a rural area in a developing country.
Teaching my grandkid that racism was invented by Judeo-Bolshevik agent provocateur Trotsky to shame and silence white people from being, well, racist. Meemaw and Pep Pep are just happy you're back.
My mom does this. She send me texts and emails of pictures with quotes of positivity plastered on top.
After the last time I saw her a few months back, she texted me that I seemed distant and asked if anything was wrong. Over the past few years, I've been coming to terms with just how emotionally abusive and manipulating she was when I was a child. She spent a decade with a man, not my father, who was an alcoholic and was the same way but worse, with some physical abuse sprinkled in because why not. Always taking his side in any conflict. Even when that ended, she found a new manipulative piece of shit to side with.
In response, I told her that I've become aware of just how much unresolved childhood trauma I have and that I'm having a hard time reconciling it. I guess I thought that this might open up a channel of communication, but nope. Her response basically amounted to "get therapy". Not the worst advice, but I didn't come to her for advice. She asked. I should have known better.
She mailed me a letter, but I haven't been able to get myself to open it. I feel like whatever is inside is just going to upset me.
Yes, it is the child's fault for not attending to the emotional needs of the parent. How may I serve you today, my liege
There's a weird inconsistency where kids are supposed to always defer to their parents and also expected to be independent. Like, what the fuck.
This mixed messaging -- along with threats of violence or emotional manipulation if deference doesn't occur -- is what created my disorganized attachment with caregivers. Turns out it's not good parenting to do that, who knew
Lots of y'all are posting about the politics divide. My mom won't let the church thing rest. When I moved out for college she was constantly asking about me finding a new "church home" there. Eventually I had to have the talk and she just couldn't comprehend that I could be secular and have a moral compass without a bible. It helped me a little that my siblings have finally had the talk too, but every couple of months or years she checks in to see if we've changed our minds. At least we aren't being disowned or anything, but holy shit please just let me have my own beliefs. I think she's worried we're all going to hell (especially worried about grandkids), which I guess I empathize with a tiny bit if I put myself in the shoes of a concerned religious parent, but like, just pray on it and trust the Lord or whatever. We've made up our minds.
Next time she brings it up tell her you've become a different denomination of Christian and that she needs to convert to ensure her salvation.
My dad won't shut the fuck up about this with my family too. Like yeah I empathize a little because of the brainrot he inherited that says if you don't think exactly like this then you'll be tormented forever, yeah that's horrifying to think. But you've had a whole lifetime to interrogate that belief, study, discuss, learn, and even do that with us but instead it's believe exactly this, no room for discussion
I think I would be more likley to be disowned if I became religious and went to church
Likely real. The 'I can't see my grandkids due to my political views' isn't new.
They feel like they are owed various things from their children because they raised them. There is no reason possible to justify cutting them off in their minds. Last Christmas I said I wasn't going to the family get together because of COVID concerns (many anti-vax relatives) and my mom called me, alternating between crying and yelling at me because I was "being inconsiderate".
it's not new but it's becoming more common given how stark there is of an ideological divide between older and younger people right now
don't wanna get into generational war or anything, because this is mostly a result of stuff like the housing collapse and wages staying stagnant since the 1970s. Older people largely represent survivors of a easier time to be alive (if you were white and not poor) and that's coloring their impression of the world, even now
you don't deserve to be treated like that 
