I study computer science and any time I sit down to code, I just browse or watch Youtube. Anything but do the work. Days and even months have gone by like this where I haven't done even an hour of learning. Its tough because in order to code I need to be in front of a screen but my brain refuses to study and just looks for that dopamine hit. My grades have suffered and I feel like a constant failure.
To clarify this is not an effect of the pandemic but has been happening for the past few years.
Lol my ADHD doesn't really allow for not procrastinating to some extent. When I don't take my vyvanse, honestly it's a coin flip if I'll get anything done that day in terms of work/goals. I'll frequently be working on an office email while on the clock and then suddenly find myself reading the wikipedia page for some tangentially related topic that has no actual bearing on the task at hand. But I can do that while medicated too (when I'm not really focused on a task at hand, but just idling at work - for example), so when I do take my vyvanse it isn't like I'm completely immune from my terrible brain.
Honestly though, I dunno if it is just depression from the state of things/life or the fact that I've been taking my vyvanse as prescribed regularly now (opposed to maybe once a week, like I did back at my old job) but I find I lose all motivation to get up and clock in for 8 hours of work three days into a vyvanse driven work-week. The end cannot come soon enough :posadist-nuke:
vyvanse/XR would turn me into a normal human bean for maybe hours 2-6 after taking it but then i'd come off the high and become nauseated, lose appetite, irritable, and have insomnia
had to do a 1 day on 2 day off sort of thing
medication fucking sucks fuck medication, why the fuck do i need to fuck myself up this bad to make a living