you are very wrong, but i am very interested in your thesis

edit: also trips

  • kristina [she/her]
    ·
    4 years ago

    you legit abused me in this thread via gaslighting and youre on a high horse saying shit?

    • AdamSandler [he/him]
      arrow-down
      28
      ·
      4 years ago

      Now you’re accusing me of abuse because I said that your relationship is toxic?

          • kristina [she/her]
            ·
            4 years ago

            uh huh. gaslighting, that one thing that abusers definitely dont do.

            • AdamSandler [he/him]
              arrow-down
              26
              ·
              4 years ago

              I am not an abuser. I do not touch my girlfriend without her consent. I do not raise my voice at her. I don’t try to degrade her. I am not an abuser. Do not call me an abuser.

              • kristina [she/her]
                ·
                4 years ago

                hope you dont gaslight her at all like you just did to me.

                • AdamSandler [he/him]
                  arrow-down
                  25
                  ·
                  4 years ago

                  I don’t fucking gaslight her. I don’t lie to her. Do you want proof? I’ll go and find some fucking proof

                    • PaulWall [he/him]
                      arrow-down
                      4
                      ·
                      4 years ago

                      we should probably refrain from being this way. i hate to be the civility fetishist but in the other thread he admitted his definition was flawed. this could be a learning experience rather than flogging session. i’m down to do both but i feel like we’ve flogged enough and now you’re trying to convince him that he might be abusing his girlfriend, which while possible, is similar to what he was doing to you. I don’t know it all is so iffy but it feels like something that isn’t right to do in return.

                      • kristina [she/her]
                        ·
                        edit-2
                        4 years ago

                        yeah im a rape victim i just hate some douchebag man telling me what is or what isnt abuse. its a huge thing for me. and tbh if chapo wants more women here there needs to be public flogging on this shit.

                        • the_river_cass [she/her]
                          ·
                          4 years ago

                          he's a 16 year old dipshit that's convinced he knows everything. the flogging is warranted. otherwise, he'll still be this way as an adult.

                              • kristina [she/her]
                                ·
                                edit-2
                                4 years ago

                                just saw your reply lmao. jeez wasted a lot of time on that one. kept things short though so not too much time.

                                • the_river_cass [she/her]
                                  ·
                                  4 years ago

                                  his old account /u/sparticist got banned for telling someone to dilate as an insult. after this, I kinda hope they just ban him on sight.

                                  • kristina [she/her]
                                    ·
                                    edit-2
                                    4 years ago

                                    unfortunate

                                    also hilarious that that is an insult you can basically stop doing it with regular sex after a year

                        • PaulWall [he/him]
                          arrow-down
                          5
                          ·
                          edit-2
                          4 years ago

                          I think there’s a line we can toe to where we still publicly flog ourselves when one of us says some reactionary shit; however, we have to understand it as a flogging in order to correct the behavior rather than flogging for flogging’s sake. I’m not trying to modulate or regulate anyone’s behavior here, I just think that we should consider it the community self-flogging itself. Obviously there are times when it is necessary to flog someone and then ban then also; however, i don’t think this is one of those times so the situation should probably be handled as critique or flogging of a comrade rather than an enemy (as long as said comrade repents for the reactionary offensive when the flogging is over of course)

                          (i don’t think you did anything wrong really, nor would it be my place to say so if you did; i’m just adding a thought onto the thread i suppose)

                          • kristina [she/her]
                            arrow-down
                            1
                            ·
                            4 years ago

                            meh. easy to say if youve never experienced what ive experienced.

                            • PaulWall [he/him]
                              arrow-down
                              1
                              ·
                              4 years ago

                              yeah i can understand that totally, i was once like him so my experience causes me to try to guide them out of the r*ddit mentality. sometimes i get totally burned and they waste hours in stupid threads, this one had a pretty quick turnover rate though actually

                              • kristina [she/her]
                                ·
                                edit-2
                                4 years ago

                                yeah and unfortunately we didnt get into a deeper level talk (mostly because i hate talking about things like this except when in a certain mindset). theres many levels of why his opinion is wrong that i didnt get into mostly because he implied i was being abused by my boyfriend, who i love very much. first of all bdsm helps rape victims a lot, and its something that comes up in support meetings regularly and its a very awkward thing for anyone to admit liking in the first place, being a rape victim. its especially hard to admit in places outside of support meetings because people will start to blame you for being raped and so on even though the two have no connection. an issue with being raped is that you can get ptsd of it, which means you can get body feelings of someone touching you, holding you down, etc. completely randomly or with a trigger. bdsm helps with the body feelings by introducing those feelings but in a positive context. of course, you can only do this when in a good state of mind and with a partner that is very good at listening, but it can be very therapeutic and a way to get those feelings out of your mind.

                                • PaulWall [he/him]
                                  arrow-down
                                  1
                                  ·
                                  4 years ago

                                  Wow, I did not know that! That is truly fascinating from multiple points of view. That sounds like something I would hear Zizek talking about in reference to Lacan and Hegel. There is a lot of discursive meat to be had in that phenomenon, you are right.

                    • AdamSandler [he/him]
                      arrow-down
                      23
                      ·
                      4 years ago

                      You have no standing to accuse me of abusive behavior towards my girlfriend

                            • AdamSandler [he/him]
                              arrow-down
                              20
                              ·
                              4 years ago

                              I am not abusing my girlfriend. Stop accusing me of abusing my girlfriend

                                • AdamSandler [he/him]
                                  arrow-down
                                  17
                                  ·
                                  4 years ago

                                  Will you stop accusing me of sexual abuse if I apologize for being an asshole to you?

                                  • kristina [she/her]
                                    ·
                                    4 years ago
                                    1. i legit never accused you of sexual abuse, i accused you of gaslighting me.

                                    2. an apology would be acceptable. wild that it took you 20 comments to come to the concept of apologizing and maybe listening

                                    • AdamSandler [he/him]
                                      arrow-down
                                      1
                                      ·
                                      4 years ago

                                      Alright. I’m sorry for jumping to conclusions early without any evidence and accusing your partner of being abusive towards you.