"Biden Administration looks for 'fresh start' after lackluster 100 days"
"Biden condemns violence of riots 'on both sides' after lastest fatal shootings"
"Hottest August on record"
"Nation mourns as covid-19 deaths hit 500,000"
"Stock market reaches record levels"
"Inspiring homeless nurse still manages to treat COVID19 patient, as new record of daily cases hits California"
"Former Presidents meet at Mar-a-Lago for photo shoot"
Shit isn't hard. Hire me The Onion.
"Why aren't millennials and Gen Z becoming CEOs?"
"President Harris announces there will only be 4 plagues this year."
"Healthcare debate reaches boiling point. Congressman overheard saying 'poors don't need lungs.'"
"Evil insect race from another dimension conquers Earth and promptly devours world leaders. Public hails new leadership as improvement. All Hail our Insect Masters."
:che-laugh: